Instead, wouldn’t it just be easier if it was obvious, and you didn’t have to anxiously wonder what his intentions are?

Let us ease your mind and your anxious heart – men aren’t subtle about their intentions. Whether he is just looking for something convenient and easy, or whether he wants a committed relationship, his intentions are easy to interpret if you know what to look for.

If you want to steer clear of men who aren’t serious about you, take time to understand men and how they operate. Educate yourself so you know the signs he wants a committed relationship.

A man who wants a relationship with you will give you clear signals about his desires and they won’t be subtle. Look for these common behaviors of a man who wants a commitment and you’ll never have to worry about having “The Talk” again.

9 Signs He Wants A Committed Relationship

1. He’s Curious About You

A man who wants a relationship with you will want to know all about you, what you like and don’t like. He’ll ask questions about your hobbies and interests. He may ask questions to find out if you are available, or if you find him attractive. He’ll want to know that the water is warm for him to move things forward.

The convenient guy may be charming, but ultimately, he’s looking to charm you. He’s not really curious about you. He may flirt with you, but he’s too busy thinking about himself and getting you to focus on him. Mr. Convenient isn’t looking for anything long-term, he just wants companionship and sex.

A clear sign he wants a committed relationship with you is asking direct questions about what does and doesn’t delight you. He wants to know about you so he can win your heart. He will be hesitant to risk too much if he doesn’t get clear signals from you that you like him.

2. He Doesn’t Wait Until The Last Minute To Ask You Out

Are you leaving Saturday night open in your calendar because you want to see him, but you don’t know when or if you are going to hear from him? The man who wants a relationship with you will ask you out in advance. He won’t wait until the last minute because he knows you’re a catch, and he wants to claim you before someone else does.

A guy who reaches out at the last minute is only doing what is convenient for him and keeping his options open. Just because he may want your companionship now and then doesn’t mean that he wants a relationship with you. Make sure you’re paying attention to the difference.

One of the signs he wants a committed relationship is that he is eager to see you again. He’ll make sure that he has a scheduled date to see you and may even ask you outright at the end of a date or soon thereafter. He’ll ask you out early in the week for a prime date night like a Friday or Saturday night.

This is true regardless of how old you are! Whether you’re in your 20’s or your 50’s, this type of behavior is true of all relationship-ready men. Asking you out in advance is not something that used to happen before the internet. It’s a natural male characteristic.  A man who really likes you will want to make sure he has a plan to see you again, usually as soon as possible.

3. He Doesn’t Rush You If You Aren’t Ready

You’ve probably met the guy who comes on strong, buys you flowers for a first date, and then disappears before you even know what happened. One of the signs he wants a committed relationship is that he may want to claim you right away, but he is also willing to wait for you. He respects your feelings and will make adjustments to accommodate you.

If you’re not ready for exclusivity or physical intimacy he will be fine with you setting the pace of the relationship. The guy who sticks with his agenda and pushes for physical intimacy even if you’re hesitant about moving forward isn’t looking to win you over long-term.

If he’s coming on strong but gets annoyed that you aren’t going along with him, or he tries to convince you to do something you are not ready for, then he isn’t sincere in his affection for you. Set the pace of the relationship and see how he responds. It’s perfectly acceptable for you to tell him, “You’re not ready yet.”

The man who wants a relationship with you will see you as the prize. He will jump at the chance to show you he is worthy of your heart (and your body). He will respect your feelings and wants you to feel comfortable and safe with him.

4. He Wants You To Be A Part Of His Life

One of the signs he wants a committed relationship with you is that it’s important to him that you meet his friends and family. He will include you in his life and want to show you off to those closest to him.

If he wants to keep you a secret, then he probably has a secret he doesn’t want you to know. It isn’t romantic if no one knows about the two of you. Sneaking around may feel exciting, but it’s not a recipe for lasting love. If you’ve met in the workplace, and you’ve agreed to keep things on the down-low, he will want you to meet important people in his life outside of the office.

Also, pay attention to how he introduces you to people in his life. He may downplay your relationship by introducing you as his “friend” instead of his “girlfriend.” This is a clear sign that he is not sure what he wants and isn’t sure about you and your relationship. If he’s making excuses for why you’re not meeting his friends and family, it’s a red flag showing you that he doesn’t take the relationship seriously.

You’ll know he wants something more when he makes it a priority to introduce you to the important people in his life. Another clear sign he wants a committed relationship with you is when he is excited to be a part of your life and wants to impress your friends and family.

5. He Pursues You For A Relationship

One of the most obvious signs he wants a committed relationship is that he’s moving the relationship forward. He’s regularly reaching out to you to schedule a date. He texts and calls to see how you’re doing and is genuinely interested in how your day is going. The two of you have a regular routine like speaking on the phone at the end of the day before going to sleep.

A man who follows through on his word is serious about you. If he says he’s going to call, he calls. He doesn’t cancel a date with you at the last minute with a flimsy excuse.

Another sign he wants a committed relationship with you is that he gives you his full attention when you are together. He’s not checking his phone constantly or distracted by other goings-on out in the world when you’re together.

It also won’t matter to him if he has to go out of his way to see you. He’s not going to complain about having to drive an hour to meet you in your part of town. He won’t ask if you’ll meet him around the corner from his office or ask you to take on the burden of coming to see him. A man who wants to impress you may even schedule and pay for a rideshare car, like Lyft or Uber for you to see him.

A man who wants a relationship is clear on the kind of woman he is looking for, so if you fit the bill, he’ll make sure to take you off the market before another man does.

If you desire a committed relationship, don’t waste your energy trying to convince a guy that he should want you. Instead, relax and let the man who wants a committed relationship step up and claim you. In doing this, you will never again have to ask a guy, “Where do you see this going?”

6. He Sees You In His Future

A man who wants a committed relationship with you will make plans to see you weeks or months in advance. He will ask you to go to a concert or on a trip with him that doesn’t happen for a while. He’ll even ask for your input about where to go and what to do and make adjustments based on your availability.

Mr. Convenient may include you in plans he’s already made, but he won’t go out of his way to create something special for the two of you. He’ll do what’s easy for him and nothing more.

An obvious sign he wants a committed relationship is when he sees you in his future and makes plans for the two of you to do things that are not just within the next week or two.

7. He Honors Your Requests

One of the signs a man wants a committed relationship is when he does his best to give you what you want. He doesn’t get defensive or make a big deal that you made a request.

Just because a man likes you doesn’t mean he will intuitively know how to please you. He may not automatically open your car door for you, but the man who really digs you will honor your requests as long as they don’t clash with his values.

A guy who isn’t serious may see your requests as being needy or too demanding. He may argue with you and may try to convince you that what you want isn’t important. Some guys will agree to go along, but not make any effort to actually fulfill your requests. This may be an indication of someone who has passive-aggressive tendencies.

Through the dating process go ahead and make requests and see how he responds. You’ll receive a lot of clarity about what his intentions are long-term, and you’ll gain clarity if he is interested in a committed relationship with you.

8. He Isn’t Afraid Of Your Differences

A man who likes you and wants something lasting with you will make an effort to work through any disagreements between you. There is no perfect man that you won’t have conflict with. There are, however, men who are willing to resolve your differences and work toward a common goal and these are relationship-ready men who are seriously interested in you.

One of the signs he wants a committed relationship is that he will be available to talk through the difficult subjects that can come up in a relationship. Your soulmate isn’t a mirror image of you. He will think and feel differently than you. It is your differences that create attraction like magnets – the polar opposites attract. Plus, these differences make you stronger as a couple as you’ll have a variety of strategies to overcome adversity together.

Being able to work through your differences is part of the dance of lasting love.

A guy who is passive-aggressive and avoids conflict, or who is unable to see your side of things isn’t going to be a good match for you in the long run. An emotionally unavailable guy just won’t want to deal with you if it isn’t easy and will bow out.

Don’t shy away from conflict and you’ll discover if he is able to work through your differences with respect.

9. He Makes Your Happiness A Priority

A man who wants a relationship with you ultimately wants you to be happy. He will be curious about how to please you and what makes you feel good. When you make requests and share your desires, he’ll make adjustments and try his best to honor your requests.

He wants you to be happy because when you’re happy he can relax and be joyful too. One of the signs he wants a committed relationship is that your happiness is a priority for him.

If a guy expects you to make him happy or constantly puts his desires above yours, he isn’t emotionally available for a healthy relationship. If he doesn’t really care about what you want, then he isn’t your guy so just move on.

Notice if the guy you’re dating is striving to discover what makes you happy and doing his best to deliver it to you. This will let you know he sees you and your happiness as a priority in his life.

How To Have The Talk So That It Doesn’t Feel Awkward Or Forced

In order to avoid the dreaded “talk” where you sit him down and ask him, “Where is this relationship going?” be open and clear from the beginning about what is important to you. If you want kids, don’t wait until you’re in an exclusive relationship to tell him. Mention it early on as you’re getting to know each other. If you desire marriage, do not agree to move in together if there is no plan to get married in the near future.

Be authentic from the beginning about your wants and desires. Date the way you want to mate, and you’ll never wonder whether he is interested in a committed relationship or not. Don’t ignore the signs from him that he isn’t on the same page as you. Move on quickly when you discover that the two of you don’t want the same things out of life.

It’s okay to ask for what you want and if he isn’t on the same page move on. Ultimately, you can’t say or do the wrong thing with the right person. If you scare him off, then he wasn’t a match for you long-term.

If you need reassurance from him, then be straightforward and share your feelings and ask for what you need. You can share with him that you feel nervous or anxious to ask him about the status of the relationship. Give him the respect of having the conversation in person and give him time to think if he doesn’t have an answer for you right away. If he replies in a way that you don’t like, be grateful for the clarity you now have about the relationship so you can do what’s best for you.

When you know your own value you can stop wasting time with guys who aren’t ready for a committed relationship. If you would like some support to create lasting love with your person (no matter your current dating situation) apply for a complimentary Breakthrough Call. During this private call with us, we can find out about you and your specific situation and help you bring in the soul-satisfying, long-lasting love you desire.

Understanding the difference between positive and negative masculine traits will help you be more discerning in your dating, and support you to create lasting love.

In a healthy relationship, there’s a balance of masculine and feminine energy that complement each other. Both men and women have masculine energy and feminine energy, however, one of those energies tends to be more dominant in each person. Masculine energy is not exclusive to men, nor is feminine energy exclusive to women.

In today’s modern world, many women are more comfortable in their masculine energy as they’re focused on their careers and life goals. Many men have relaxed into their feminine energy in response. While this type of relationship can work for some people (a more masculine woman with a more feminine man), over time most women find it to be stressful and unfulfilling.

A man who is comfortable with his masculinity can provide a solid emotional foundation allowing a woman to relax into her feminine energy. She’ll experience feeling safe in the relationship allowing intimacy to blossom. If you would like to fully express your feminine energy, look for a man who is comfortable and confident in his masculinity.

What Is Masculine Energy?

Masculine energy is the part of you that is goal-directed, assertive, focused, and action-oriented. It is focused more on doing than on being. Most people are using their masculine energy when they’re at work and accomplishing goals.

Masculine energy is not about how physically strong a man is or how stoic. It’s how a man carries himself and treats the women in his life. Healthy masculinity is steeped with respect and integrity. It is the trunk that anchors the tree into the ground, allowing the leaves to dance in the wind.

Toxic Masculinity vs. Healthy Masculine Energy

Masculinity has been misunderstood and vilified recently because of unhealthy or toxic expressions of masculine energy. Toxic masculinity is focused on power and control. It wants to hold power over others and control the feminine. Healthy masculine energy encourages the development of inner power and strength, and controlling the self — not others.

Toxic masculinity rejects expressions of the feminine in men. It focuses on a certain stoicism and shows contempt for emotional expression. Suppressing emotions, except for anger, is viewed as a sign of strength. Healthy masculine expression sees strength in the ability to be vulnerable, and values empathy and compassion over callousness or anger.

Toxic masculinity puts value on physical strength and the ability to dominate others. It can lead to expressions of violence against perceived weaknesses in others. It’s a world where power equals respect. Healthy masculinity finds power in stillness and kindness. It centers on the respect of equals, not on domination.

When boys are pressured to be more like a man by hiding their feelings, or when they believe they have to be tough to be respected, or when they view the feminine as weak, then they develop the behaviors and strategies of a toxic male.

How do you identify the difference between healthy masculine energy or toxic masculinity?

To manifest you must have a clear vision of your goal. Understanding what healthy masculine energy looks like brings clarity to your search for long-lasting love.

7 Kinds Of Healthy Masculine Energy That Inspires True Love To Grow

1. Healthy Masculinity Is Comfortable With Vulnerability

It takes real strength and confidence to show someone your true feelings. Healthy masculinity embraces authentic expression and knows that vulnerability comes from inner strength.

Your man needs to be able to open his heart to you and reveal his inner thoughts and feelings. He knows that showing his emotional weaknesses doesn’t make him weak. Instead, it creates the opportunity for deeper connection and creates trust in the relationship.

Look for a man who is in touch with his emotional life and has the ability to open up to you. He may not always have the language or wear his emotions on his sleeve, but he will be able to tell you how he feels when it’s important.

2. Healthy Masculine Energy Is Grounded

A man who’s comfortable in his own skin and knows who he is will inspire you to feel grounded and safe. Imagine that the masculine is the trunk of the tree and the feminine is the smaller branches, the leaves, and the flowers. A strong trunk supports the branches and leaves to dance in the wind and nurtures the flowers to bloom.

Grounded masculine energy gives you space to fully express your femininity. He is supportive of your emotional side and doesn’t feel threatened by your passion and intensity. He appreciates how you soften him and connect him to his own feelings.

This is best expressed by watching two ballroom dancers. The male in the dance supports the female. He leads and holds the female as she beautifully twirls and turns around him. This dance of the masculine and feminine allows for the strengths of both partners to be expressed and to be in harmony with one another.

3. Healthy Masculinity Wants To Provide For You And Make You Happy

A man who’s comfortable in his masculinity knows that his happiness comes from making you happy. He wants to provide the things you need to thrive. This doesn’t mean that he needs to be the breadwinner or sole financial support. He can provide through his ability to take care of things that you either don’t want to do or can’t do. He can provide emotional support and encouragement for you to pursue your career.

As long as he knows that his support brings you joy, he ‘ll be willing to give you what you need. He’ll be willing to honor your requests and work to meet your needs.

His power is his ability to please you and create an environment where you feel safe and taken care of. This doesn’t mean that you can’t be successful in your own right. A man who is confident in his masculinity won’t feel threatened by a woman who’s more successful than him. He’ll want to support you in creating your dreams alongside him.

4. Healthy Masculine Energy Embodies Integrity

Do his words match his actions? Does he take responsibility when he makes a mistake? Can he apologize when necessary? These traits come from a man who lives with integrity and is comfortable with his masculinity. He’s not afraid to be imperfect and will work to repair his mistakes.

Integrity is key to living with healthy masculinity. It requires inner strength and confidence to live up to your values and beliefs. A man who’s constantly swayed by those around him isn’t grounded in his own truth.

Defensiveness and blame-shifting are qualities of a man who isn’t confident in himself.

Integrity requires that you take responsibility for your actions. No one is perfect but everyone has the ability to fix their mistakes and apologize when they haven’t lived up to their standards.

5. Healthy Masculine Energy Leads But Is Not Rigid

When a man takes charge in a relationship that means that he knows what he wants and is willing to take action to get it. He’ll ask you out in advance. He’ll claim you by asking for exclusivity.

However, this doesn’t mean that he’s so single-minded in his actions that he isn’t able to respond and change course when he’s given feedback. Toxic masculinity sees things only one way – his way. Healthy masculinity can adjust and change course when necessary.

Does he try to bulldoze you or overwhelm you with his love? Or is he curious to discover what you desire? Look for a man who knows what he wants and is flexible in his approach to getting it. Ideally, each of you defers to one another’s strengths to create a strong bond.

6. Healthy Masculinity Asks For And Accepts Help

A man who is confident in his masculinity knows that he doesn’t always have the answer. He’s willing to accept help and may even actively seek out help. He knows that there’s more strength in a team than there is in going it alone.

Your man may struggle and strive to solve his problems on his own, but he’ll also know when he can’t do it alone. He won’t be afraid to ask for help and has no fear he’ll be perceived as weak when asking for assistance because he knows it takes true strength to admit needing help.

Is your man able to ask your opinion or help? Does he have mentors or friends that he can rely on? Does he read the instructions before he tries to put together the furniture you just bought from Ikea? A man who can ask for help is confident in who he is and willing to admit what he doesn’t know.

7. Healthy Masculinity Isn’t Obsessed With Being Right

The need to be right is an unhealthy masculine trait. The desire to get it right is a healthier expression of masculine energy. Whether he’s trying to please you, working to express his feelings, or achieving a goal in his life, a man who’s comfortable in his masculinity wants to get it right. He also knows that he isn’t always right.

A man comfortable in his masculinity is willing and able to give credit where credit is due, not obsessed with taking all the credit himself. He’ll strive to get things right and easily admit when he is wrong.

Throughout the dating process look for these healthy masculine traits. Encourage your man to step into his masculine by relaxing into your feminine energy and inspiring him to step up and lead. Ultimately, you’ll find that you’re happier and more relaxed in your relationships and able to trust the man you’re with.

Remember, just because he’s leading, doesn’t mean you have to follow. Feminine energy is not passive, and it holds the power to redirect or veto outright.

If the energetic dance of the masculine and feminine has you confused, or unsure and you’re tired of initiating the “Where are we going?” conversation, join us for a Soulmate Strategy Session. Let’s give you a roadmap to create the long-lasting love you desire and deserve.

How many times have you met a great guy and it doesn’t go anywhere? He’s attractive, there’s a connection between the two of you — you’re hopeful that this time it’s a match, but the relationship never goes anywhere. He doesn’t reach out or text you but readily responds to your communication. The relationship limps along until eventually it just fizzles out, and you’re left confused and wondering what you did wrong.

When a man falls in love, his actions speak louder than his words. He won’t be subtle about his feelings for you, but you can be led astray if you let your wishful thinking or bad dating habits blind you to a guy who’s not relationship ready. You can waste a lot of time with the guy who’s just looking for some companionship.

You can stop trying to guess or create meaning out of subtle clues in his behavior. Instead, look for these signs that he is falling for you and actually wants a relationship with you (and if he’s not taking these actions move on to find someone who does).

When A Man Falls In Love He Shows His True Feelings In These 11 Ways

1. He Wants To Impress You

When a man falls in love he’ll want to prove that he’s worthy of your heart. Like many animals going through a mating dance, he’ll puff up his feathers and try to impress you. He may try to impress you with his earning ability, his intelligence, his charm, or his fancy toys (like cars, boats, or video games).

He may not always know how to impress you, so you may misinterpret his actions as talking too much, not being interested in you, or showing off and bragging about himself. Underneath his bravado, he just wants to prove himself worthy of you.

Rather than discount a man who’s working hard to gain your affection let him know what you value so he can actually dazzle you instead of missing the mark. Share with him how he can captivate your heart and see if he can make an adjustment.

When a man falls in love, he’ll work to impress you long after he’s won your heart as long as you acknowledge and appreciate his efforts.

2. He Claims You And Wants To Take You Off The Market

When a man falls in love, he wants to be exclusive with you so that he won’t lose you to the competition. He clearly sees you as a good match and may rush to take you off the market.

He may be moving a little too quickly for you, but his desire for exclusivity means that he likes you and is serious about you. If he isn’t making moves to claim you then he may fancy you but he’s not looking for a serious relationship — he may want something convenient and easy with no strings attached.

Guys who are not relationship ready still want companionship and physical intimacy so spending time with you and having sex doesn’t mean he wants a relationship. If he’s not making moves to take you off the market then you must continue to date other guys.

When a man falls in love he’ll want you all to himself. He’ll ask you to go exclusive and his words and actions will match up to let you know he’s reliable.

3. He Will Wait For You

Just because he is rushing to take you off the market doesn’t mean that he’ll disappear if you tell him you aren’t ready to go exclusive yet. He’ll wait for you to be ready, and he’ll also be willing to wait for sex.

Don’t make the mistake of rushing in before you know if he is a good match for you. Just because he wants to claim you doesn’t mean that he’s your man, it just means that he’s interested in a relationship with you. Ultimately you have veto power so don’t rush in because the chemistry is hot. It takes more than attraction to make a relationship last.

If he’s moving too quickly tell him, “Not yet,” instead of, “No.” Letting him know you’re interested in him and waiting to discover more about him is a world of difference from rejecting him outright. Proceed with caution while getting to know each other and let him know the intimacy will be great when you’re ready to take that step.

When a man falls in love with you, he’s willing to let you slow the pace of the relationship and he’ll be patient while you take time to make up your mind.

4. He Listens And Responds To Your Requests

When a man falls in love, he listens to you and makes an effort to please you. Don’t waste your time with a guy who isn’t willing to adjust to your requests. Too many women are overly accommodating so they go along to get along. This is not a good strategy for discovering your match for a lifelong partnership.

A man who wants a relationship with you is willing to do what it takes. Give him some hurdles to overcome to earn your love. Mr. Convenient Guy will move along if he has to put in too much effort. Rejection is your protection through the dating process. Let the wrong guys deselect themselves and move on so you’re free to find the man who’s willing to earn your devotion. The man who wants a relationship with you will step up and try to win your heart.

When a man falls in love he will pay close attention to your likes and dislikes and will make an effort to please you.

5. He Puts On His Superhero Cape

When a man falls in love, he wants to be your hero. He feels a sense of pride in being able to fix things for you and solve your problems. Whether he wants to help fix your car or your problems at work, his efforts to prove himself to you are evidence that he is falling for you.

Acknowledge and appreciate his efforts to help you and you’ll see his confidence grow in your relationship. A man who feels like he can solve your problems will stick by you through thick and thin. If he doesn’t feel appreciated then he may withdraw, become insecure, or move on to find a woman who does value his efforts.

Instinctually a man will want to provide something for you. So if you’re the career woman, allow him to provide something of value to you even if it’s not financial security. Let him know that you appreciate his insights, his help with some of your projects or workouts, or that his hugs ground you and leave you feeling safe.

When a man falls in love, he will want to be the only man that you come to with your problems so he can put on his Superman cape and come to your aid.

6. He Makes An Effort To Repair And Reconnect After A Conflict

All relationships will hit some bumps and endure conflicts. Just because he is falling in love with you doesn’t mean that he won’t make any mistakes. But when a man falls in love, he will be willing to make it up to you when he does.

Love does not come with mind-reading powers. Just because he loves you doesn’t mean he somehow knows exactly what you want and need. Don’t judge a man on his ability to anticipate what you want. Judge him on his ability to clean up his mistakes and do what is necessary to make it up to you.

When a man falls in love he will take responsibility for his errors and will be willing to make amends for when he has let you down.

7. His Goal Is To Make You Happy

A man who wants a relationship with you will want to make you happy. He knows that a happy wife makes for a happy life. His actions will show you he’s in it to win it with you and that he has no interest in anyone else.

He’ll take pride in knowing how to bring more joy into your life. He’ll pay attention to the little details of your likes and dislikes. A man who doesn’t care about your wants or needs isn’t interested in anything long-term with you.

Make it easy for a man you’re interested in to bring you more joy. Tell him what you do and do not like when it comes to food, music, hobbies, and sex. Let him know how to please you. Don’t keep it a secret and then judge him because he doesn’t know (that wouldn’t be fair or kind).

When a man falls in love, he will deliver to you exactly what you desire as long as you spell it out for him. Make it easy for him to know how to increase your joy.

8. He Wants To Make You Part Of His Life

When a man falls in love, he wants to include you in his life. He’ll introduce you to his friends, and he’ll invite you to gatherings with his family. If he’s keeping you to himself and not making you a part of his life, then he may not see you in his future. Having a secret romance can feel exciting but it won’t turn into a lasting relationship (if he’s hiding you he’s also hiding things from you).

See if he wants to show you off to his friends and family. Does he share with you what’s going on at work or ask for your advice about an issue in his life? If you’re in the dark about his life outside of the relationship — beware!

A man who values you in his life will share the details of his life with you. If he is being secretive he is keeping things from you for a reason.

When a man falls in love, he will want to show you off to the people close to him.

9. He Sees You In His Future

When a man falls in love, he will make a plan for your future together. Whether he’s booking you for dates in the future, planning a trip together, or buying tickets to events three months in advance, he sees the two of you together beyond the present moment.

A man who isn’t moving things forward probably likes you but isn’t falling for you. He may find you attractive and enjoy your company, but he isn’t ready for a relationship. You can easily discover the difference by leaning back and letting him lead.

If he’s moving the relationship forward, then he’s likely falling for you. If he’s waiting for you to pursue then stop putting in the effort to see him and he’ll probably disappear. Better to know now than three more months down the road when you’re more attached to him.

When a man falls in love, he will plan a future with you in it.

10. He’s Willing And Able To Work Through Conflict With You

Conflict is a natural part of all relationships. Just because the two of you love each other doesn’t mean that you will always get along or that you won’t have disagreements. Happily ever after only happens in the movies.

A man who loves you is willing and able to figure it out with you when things get bumpy. Don’t shy away from conflict and smooth over disagreements at the beginning. Instead, use conflict to discover if the two of you can navigate life’s challenges together.

If he’s unwilling to see your side of things or doesn’t want to address your differences, then he probably isn’t going to be a good match in the long run. Conflict can be a doorway to a deeper connection when you are with a man who isn’t too stubborn or closed off to be authentic with you.

When a man falls in love, he will be willing to work things out with you no matter the challenge at hand.

11. He Loves Your Weirdness

When a man falls in love with you, it’s because he loves you for who you really are. Your man loves those things that others may have broken up with you about. He even loves your flaws and your quirkiness.

He won’t ask you to change. He isn’t falling for a fantasy of you, he’s falling for the real authentic you and will adore the quirky things about you. Let your uniqueness shine brightly so that a man who is looking for you can find you.

When a man falls in love, he falls in love with all of you, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Stop wondering or guessing if he likes you. Don’t put any effort into guys who are not putting in the effort for you. Follow these signs and you won’t waste your time with Mr. Convenient and instead, you’ll find yourself with your Mr. Right.

Do you constantly fall for emotionally unavailable men or men who aren’t relationship ready? Click here to watch this video on how to break the cycle of attracting unavailable men.

What a man needs from a relationship is different than what a woman needs. Treating him like a girlfriend or showing off on a date isn’t going to get you what you want. Instead of using your same strategies, take time to discover what a man really needs from a relationship.

Yes, men and women are equal but that doesn’t mean they’re the same. A man’s brain is different from yours and he thinks differently about relationships than you do. Understanding the natural energetics of masculine and feminine and adjusting your dating strategies will allow you to relax knowing that your man feels loved by you. He wants to be your hero. And by giving him the space to be your hero, his self-confidence will grow.

How To Love A Man So He Stays With You Forever

1. Tell Him What Will Make You Happy

Your man wants you to be happy and he wants to be the source of your happiness. Tell him what you want. Don’t keep your desires a secret.

It may seem like it’s more romantic for him to just “know” what you want, but that’s a recipe for disappointment. Attraction and even deep love don’t come with mind-reading powers. Tell him. You’ll get what you want, and he’ll feel good about himself because he can deliver what you want and please you.

There was a best-selling book a few years ago called, “Why Men Love Bitches.” A more accurate title could have been, “Why Men Love Women Who Know What They Want And Ask For It,” but it isn’t as catchy of a title. Love your man by asking for what you want, and he’ll love you back by giving it to you.

How to love a man so he sticks around? Tell him how to please you.

2. Acknowledge And Appreciate Him

When your man gives you what you asked for, acknowledge and appreciate his actions. This is the fuel a man runs on in a relationship. He doesn’t need you to reciprocate but he does need to feel appreciated.

Many divorced men we’ve spoken to have shared with us that they never felt appreciated by their wives. Instead, they felt like nothing they did was ever good enough. A man who doesn’t feel like he can win with you will begin to feel demoralized and eventually give up trying.

How to love a man so that he feels self-confident? Acknowledge and appreciate when he does something for you.

3. Let Him Know That His Efforts Count

Just because you’ve told your man what you want doesn’t mean that he’s always going to get it exactly right. The key is whether he’s making an effort. If he’s trying to make the changes you’re asking for, let him know that his efforts count.

Behavioral change is not always easy. Your habitual behaviors aren’t going anywhere without some conscious effort. Encourage your man instead of criticizing him and he’ll make the effort to step up for you.

If you’re frustrated or disappointed with him, don’t demean him. See if you can have a productive discussion about your expectations and allow him input into how your expectations can be met.

How to love a man so that he keeps working to make you happy? Let him know that his efforts to change are just as important as his actually changing.

4. Give Him Space

Maybe he needs guy time, or he likes to hibernate in his man cave. However your guy recharges, give him the space to do it. Very few relationships function well when the expectation is that the two of you should do everything together.

If you respect his need for space, he’ll be more present with you when you’re together. Men need time to recharge and time spent alone tinkering on a computer or in a workshop allows them to reconnect with themselves and produce testosterone.

The same applies to giving a man space to make up his mind. Let him know what you want and give him some time to think about it. He’ll be more likely to come around if you let him decide for himself than if you keep trying to convince him.

How to love a man so he feels respected? Give him space to recharge and to make up his own mind without pressure.

5. Take Him At His Word

Most men are pretty upfront about who they are and what they want. If a man tells you what’s important to him, believe him. Avoid the urge to read into his actions or to make assumptions about what you think he wants.

Where a man spends his resources (his time, energy, and money) tells you what’s important to him. In general, men don’t send subtle clues. What you see is what you get.

How to love a man so that he knows you understand him? Take him at his word and respond accordingly.

6. Discover What Makes Him Feel Loved

Just because you love gifts and being told, “I love you” doesn’t mean that’s what makes your man feel loved by you. Take time to discover what makes him feel loved.

The old adage of, “loving someone the way you want to be loved” should actually be “love someone the way they want to be loved.”

Most people give love the way they want to receive it. Notice how he’s showing you that he loves you. That’ll give you a clue of what he wants from you. You could also both take the 5 Love Languages Quiz and have fun sharing your results.

How to love a man so that he truly feels loved by you? Discover what makes him feel loved and deliver what he needs.

7. Don’t Treat Him Like Your Girlfriend

When you share a story with your girlfriend you give her all the details and the play-by-play because that’s what she wants to hear. A man won’t know what to do with all that information. He wants to help you, but his eyes will glaze over if you give him every single detail.

When you need to vent or are looking for a receptive ear, your girlfriends are a great resource. Your man isn’t going to interact with you like your female friends. He wants you to get to the point and let him know how he can help. He’s not interested in hearing every plot point along the way.

If you’re coming together after a long day apart, give him time to recharge before sharing your day with him. And let him know that you aren’t looking for his advice, that you’d feel better just knowing that he heard you. Better yet, call a girlfriend while he’s recharging and re-hash your day with her. Then you and your man can connect in a more meaningful way later on.

How to love a man so that he doesn’t go into overwhelm? Share the details of your day with a girlfriend and make a direct request to your man.

8. Get A Status Update On His “Honey Do List”

You want your man to take care of projects that are important to you, but don’t want to be a nag? A great communication tool for reminding him is to ask him for a status update.

“Can I get a status update on the bedroom getting painted?” This is a much more effective way of finding out where he is than asking him, “Why haven’t you painted the bedroom yet?” When you ask for a status update you give him the opportunity to share what he’s gotten done and what he still needs to take care of. It also reminds him of the project without putting him on the spot.

How to love a man without nagging him? Ask him for a status update on his to-do list.

9. Give Him The Time To Express His Thoughts And Feelings

Most men know what they think about a situation, but they don’t always know how they feel about it. And even if they know their thoughts, they may take time to find a way to express them.

Give him time to express himself instead of jumping in and sharing your thoughts and feelings so quickly. He may not be as quick to find the words to express what’s going on. Be careful of the desire to fill in the blanks. If he feels safe expressing himself with you then he’ll gradually open up even more.

How to love a man so he feels like he can open up to you? Give him some time to formulate his thoughts instead of jumping in as soon as there is a pause. You’ll find out a lot more about him if you let him stammer through and find the words to express himself.

10. Be His Lover Not His Mother

Most men like to be nurtured but that doesn’t mean that you want him to rely on you for everything. You’re not his mother reminding him to clean up after himself or making sure he wears a jacket when he goes out.

He’s a grown man. He can take care of himself. You can show him your nurturing side but don’t mother him or treat him like a child. This will kill the romance between you.

Flirt with him. Complement him. Let him know you still find him attractive. And leave the mothering for when he’s sick or feeling down.

How to love a man so that he still has the hots for you? Leave the mothering to his mother and focus on being his lover.

11. Give Him The Benefit Of The Doubt

Too many women give a man the benefit of the doubt from the first date when they feel chemistry and attraction. It’s better to wait until you get to know him. First discover who he is and what he values before you give him the benefit of the doubt.

If he’s earned his way to exclusivity and a commitment, then he deserves the benefit of the doubt. He deserves for you to believe that he has the best intentions for you. Women often wear rose-colored glasses early in the relationship and as the years go by take them off and become more critical of their man.

Wait to put on your rose-colored glasses until after he has proven himself. Then put on those rose-colored glasses and see him in his best light, even on his worst days.

How to love a man so that he trusts you completely? Give him the benefit of the doubt.

12. Don’t Take Him For Granted

A man who loves you is working to show you his love all the time. He wants to solve your problems. He wants to provide what you need so that you are happy. He wants to take care of you and be your hero.

Don’t take his actions for granted. Let him know that you appreciate him and his efforts. Respect the differences between you. Show him respect. He’ll repay you by being the kind of man you can count on as sure as you know the sun will rise tomorrow.

How to love a man so that he gives you what you want and need? Let him know how much you love and appreciate him daily.

Men and women approach romantic relationships differently and have different needs in relationships. Understanding these differences and adjusting your behavior brings you the long-lasting, soul-satisfying love you desire.

If you’ve consistently found yourself in a power struggle with your man or just didn’t know how to keep love alive over time, don’t worry, you can discover a new way to approach love.

Download our free report, The 5 Stages of Relationship, and discover how to navigate the natural changes all relationships go through. Learning the natural course of an intimate relationship will put you on the road to the long-lasting, soul-satisfying love you desire and deserve.

It can seem like all the good men are already taken and you’re left sorting through the discard pile. It’s enough to have you thinking you’ll just be okay alone and celibate.

The myth that it’s difficult to find a good man goes hand-in-hand with the idea that you just need to know WHERE to find a good man. Just like you may find the right rescue dog at the right animal rescue.

Do you think that if you meet a man at church, in a high-end hotel, through a matchmaker, on an elite dating site, or volunteering for those in need the location will deliver a good man to you?

But finding a quality man isn’t about where you’re looking; it’s about how you’re looking.

You can find a good man almost anywhere, it’s just a matter of changing your strategies for finding an ideal match for long-lasting love. A good man is not a unicorn. There are plenty of them right in your town — wherever you may live. The hyperfocus on finding a quality man actually makes it harder for you to find the right man for you.

Here’s why your focus on finding a quality man is blocking you from the long-lasting love you want.

The Myth Of Finding A Quality Man — 8 Reasons Why You Can’t Find A Good Man

1. Finding A Quality Man Is Subjective

Just like beauty, quality is in the eye of the beholder. When finding a quality man to date no definition of quality matches what every woman desires. Your preferences belong to you.

Since every woman has different criteria for what constitutes a quality man (or a good match for them), there isn’t one location that quality men tend to frequent. You can find your type of good man amongst all kinds of other men.

Some men have done a ton of personal growth work and are not good relationship material. Other men, who’ve never read a self-help book. are great men who want a relationship, a family, and to fall in love for a lifetime.

The same could be said for income level, religion, education, or any other attribute that someone defines as quality.

There’s no generic recipe or one-size-fits-most when looking for a life partner. Plus, in looking for “men” rather than “your man” you’re setting yourself up for frustration.

Dating for your soulmate is not like putting out a casting call in Hollywood. You don’t need quality men – you simply need one. One man who’s an ideal match for you and will stand by you.

Lumping men into a generic group is simply not how the world is and says a lot about your mindset. Albert Einstein said, “You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” Finding a quality man to date has more to do with your state of mind rather than what’s available out in the world.

2. Your Unrealistic Standards Limit Your Choices

If you’re trying to find a good man to date and you only see guys who don’t measure up, then you’re dividing all men into only two categories: Quality and Inferior.

This type of black-and-white thinking causes you to reject men for any and every reason under the sun. Finding fault with most of the men you meet before you get to know them will keep you single and frustrated, just as deselecting every guy you see online before meeting them in person.

There are more than two types of men in the world. The world is full of varied kinds of men, just as there are many types of women. You’re not going to know immediately if a guy is your match right away.

Plus, how are you supposed to distinguish these quality men from all the other men in the world? It’s not like they’re all wearing the same color hat or sweatshirt as a mark of their high quality.

You’re not finding a quality man by creating a detailed list of characteristics and then eliminating every man who doesn’t immediately match the list.

Instead of judging a guy because he doesn’t fit your rigid criteria, notice how he shows up for you. Dating is a process, so take your time getting to know someone instead of writing him off before he’s had a chance to show you what he’s really made of.

3. You’re Trying To Avoid Pain

If you’re divorced from a cheater, or you recently broke up with an emotionally unavailable man, or you’re tired of dating guys who show up hot and then go cold, then you’re probably struggling to find a good man because you’re hypersensitive to the type of man who’s hurt you. It makes sense you don’t want a repeat situation, but you can’t find a good man by avoiding the type who’s broken your heart.

You cannot create from lack, so avoiding the type of guy who’s hurt you won’t bring you closer to meeting your ideal match. By putting your focus on what you don’t want, you’ve told your mind to highlight the type of guy who’s hurt you. You’ll struggle finding a quality man because your mind will only see the type of men you’re trying to avoid.

Instead of looking for the wrong man in order to avoid him, you can put all your energy into finding the quality man that’s the right fit for you long-term.

4. You’re Showing Off Instead Of Showing Up

If you’re a successful woman you’re probably comfortable in your masculine energy. It serves you in your career, so it’s easy to use those same strategies while dating. Instead of giving him space to show off for you, you’re too busy showing him how great you are.

Some successful women believe they intimidate men and therefore have trouble finding a quality man. That’s not the real problem. When you’re showing off you’re in your masculine energy it creates a competitive atmosphere on the date.

Men compete with other men; they don’t want to compete with their woman. An alpha male will deselect himself because he doesn’t want to compete with his lover. A more feminine man will relax into his feminine energy and let you do all the heavy lifting and you’ll feel insecure because he’s not stepping up for you.

Instead of waiting for him to reveal what he wants, you’re pursuing the relationship and moving things forward. These strategies will make it difficult to find a good man because you won’t know what his intentions are. Eventually you’ll be asking him “Where is this relationship going?”

As far as he’s concerned, it’s going great for him. He’s getting exactly what he needs, companionship and regular sex.

If you’re interested in finding a quality man who wants to be in a relationship with you, stop doing so much. Relax into your feminine energy and let him lead. With your feminine energy you can respond, but you don’t have to follow. If the relationship doesn’t go anywhere then you’ll know exactly what his intentions are.

A relationship-ready man will pursue you for a relationship, he’ll want to claim you and take you off the market.

5. You’re Moving Too Quickly

It can be exciting to jump in the sack when you first meet a guy you like, but if you want to find a good man, slow things down. When you move too fast you let your excitement cloud your judgment and you ignore possible red flags.

Some men are more in love with the idea of you and make big romantic gestures on the first few dates. This may feel great, but you’ve just met and don’t really know each other. Most guys that love-bomb don’t have what it takes to go the distance in a long-term partnership.

Finding a quality man requires that you slow things down and discover if the two of you are an ideal match before you commit to exclusivity. Otherwise, you may find that he runs away the second things become difficult because his fantasy doesn’t include disagreements.

The right man will let you set the pace. He’ll be patient and willing to put in the time to prove to you that he’s in it to win it with you. Practice slow love and hold off on exclusivity. Date a few men in a rotation so you can experience the differences in how men pursue and show up. When you find a good man he’ll put in the effort to win your heart.

6. You’re Judging Him Too Quickly

Most men you go on a first date with or interact with through an app or an online dating site don’t have a dating coach. They’re probably using the same dating strategies they developed when they were young men just figuring things out. Patience, curiosity, and a little effort will help you find a good man who just doesn’t make a great impression on a first or second date.

Good men are just as cautious as many women are about dating. They’ve had their hearts broken and are struggling to find lasting love. It’s often the guy who isn’t interested in a long-term relationship who comes across as confident and aggressive at the beginning.

Finding a quality man requires patience with the men you’re meeting. Be curious and open. Redirect him when necessary. Give him a chance and he may prove to be a lot more capable than you’re aware of at the beginning.

7. You Don’t Value Yourself

You may secretly believe that you’re not worthy of finding a quality man, so you settle for less. You find yourself in dead-end relationships with men who don’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

Not valuing yourself causes you to ignore obvious signs he’s not a quality man.

Settling for the first guy who’s interested in you. Tolerating disrespectful behavior and go along with choices you don’t agree with to avoid scaring him away. Not speaking up and asking for what you want. Being too accommodating because you don’t want to be alone.

Instead of settling for the guy who’s less than ideal for you, train yourself to build your self-confidence and self-esteem. You deserve to find a good man who gets you and will stick by you.

8. You’re Expecting Him To Be A Mind Reader

Finding a quality man doesn’t mean he’ll come with mind-reading powers. Knowing how to communicate your feelings and desires goes a long way to identifying a quality man over an inferior one.

A quality man can be inspired to step up into his better self. He’ll see your requests as clues to how to please you, make you happy, and win your heart.

An inferior man will become defensive and possibly dismiss your feelings and your needs. Or he may agree to your request but not put in any effort to deliver on it.

You’ll never discover who he is or what he’s capable of if you don’t speak your needs and desires with him. Judging him because he’s not a mind reader may keep your heart safe, but you’ll never know if he’s capable of stepping up for you.

Approach each man with curiosity, share your dreams and goals with him. Let him know your feelings and let him see the real authentic you. Give him the space to step up for you and provide your needs and wants.

The right man for you will want to provide you with lifelong happiness. He’ll always want to bring a smile to your face.

Stop worrying about finding a quality man and instead start looking for the man who’s the right match for you long-term. He’s the one who’s willing and able to meet your needs and wants to make you happy. He’s moving the relationship forward and showing you that he wants a relationship with you every step of the way.

Give him time to get to know you while you’re dating and if he doesn’t move the relationship forward move on.

If you’re ready to get off the relationship merry-go-round and create new strategies for lasting love, join us for a complimentary Soulmate Strategy Call. We’ll help you create a plan for finding love with your quality man.

Wondering how to know he loves you? Stop looking for hidden signs or big romantic gestures, and instead let his actions tell you his feelings for you. When a man truly loves you it won’t be a mystery, it’ll be obvious and you’ll know that a soul connection is possible.

So instead of spending all your energy looking for the hidden signs that your guy is ready for next-level love, relax and trust that it’ll be clear to you what his intentions are by his actions.

Show Up Authentically So He Truly Loves You (Not The Idea Of You)

If you Google “How to Get A Man To Marry You” you’ll get over 22 million results with titles like:

“How to Get a Man to Marry You: 10 Steps to Get that Sparkler”

“15 Psychological Tricks To Make Him Propose”

“50 Things That Make A Man Want To Marry You”

Have you bought into the idea that men need to be convinced or coerced into making a commitment? Do you believe that men are only looking for sex and it’s up to you to catch him and keep him?

These limiting beliefs can motivate you to be inauthentic and pretend you’re into the same hobbies he is, or that you really like watching football, or that it’s fascinating when he explains the plot of the latest Martin Scorsese film.

Maybe you’ve been trained to keep your desires for a long-term relationship to yourself so you don’t scare him away like he’s a skittish woodland creature. That you’ll somehow get the commitment you want by keeping things casual, patiently waiting for him to finally step up and claim you.

Or perhaps your strategy is to go along to get along. That it’s better to ignore your differences, swallow your feelings, and be accommodating at all costs. You secretly hope he intuits your needs and wants without you having to speak up.

The idea that it’s “meant to be” if it works out, and it’s also “meant to be” if doesn’t is maddening, right? That’s because you’ve been indoctrinated into believing in Love By Accident.

If you spend the dating process avoiding conflict you’ll never meet your ideal match. If he truly loves you he’ll want to know what makes you happy. You’ll want to know how he behaves when you two hit a bump in the road.

Want to know if he really loves you? Be authentic and give him the opportunity to love you for who you really are, not who you’ve presented yourself to be. Sharing your life with someone will have ups as well as downs and you’ll want to know that you two can weather the storms together.

How To Know He Loves You? 9 Signs That Reveal He Really Loves You

1. He’s Pursuing You For A Relationship

If you’re putting all the effort into setting up dates and moving the relationship forward, you’ll never know if he really loves you. If he likes you but isn’t ready for a commitment, he’ll let you do all the heavy lifting. If he’s just following your lead that means he’s not looking for a serious relationship, instead he wants companionship (and some physical intimacy) without much effort.

To find out if he truly loves you, stop making things so easy for him. Don’t move the relationship forward, lean back and see if he steps up his efforts to see you. When a man is ready for a relationship, he’ll go on a mission to find his woman. His intentions will be obvious, and he won’t be subtle about wanting to share his life with you.

He’ll call or text you regularly and ask you out in advance, even going out of his way if he has to. His words and his actions will be aligned and you’ll never have to have the talk and ask him, “Where is this going?”

A man who truly loves you will do what it takes to get a commitment from you and take you off the market. He’ll make a clear request for exclusivity and include you in every part of his life including introducing you to his friends and family.

Embrace your feminine energy not by being passive (that’s not feminine) but by responding to him. Let him know your dreams and goals for the future so he can see if you’re The One for him. You won’t have to wonder if he truly loves you because it will be clear as day.

2. He Wants To Please You

A man who truly loves you will want to know how to please you. He’ll be paying attention to what you say, what you like and dislike, and he’ll take note of things you’ve mentioned in passing, like your favorite wine, hobbies you enjoy, and the type of music you like.

Don’t want to be asked out on a date with a text message? Let him know that you prefer he calls you for a date, and if he truly loves you he’ll make best efforts to make you happy. This is instinctual behavior for a man who wants a long-term relationship, he’ll want to win your heart.

Your happiness is important to him. He wants to know that he’s the one that can make you happier (not another man). His desire to please you comes from knowing that your joy will also bring him more joy.

Here’s how to know he loves you — let him know how he can please you and observe his response. Does he make an effort to fulfill your request? Or does he argue with you and make little effort to comply with your query? His response will tell you if he’s serious about you.

3. He’s Planning His Future With You

Making plans for the future with you is a sure way to know that a man truly loves you. If the man you’re dating is talking about taking you to a concert three months from now or is planning a trip for the two of you, then he clearly sees a future with you. Is he asking you about taking time off so you can go away together in advance? Then you can bet that he’s interested in a long-term relationship.

Some men like to keep things loose and flexible, playing it day by day with no plan moving forward and keeping the relationship in the gray. This behavior indicates he’s not seeing a future with you he’s just looking to get his immediate needs met. If he’s reaching out last minute, you may want to take a closer look at his behavior because rather than spontaneity it may mean he is looking for something convenient — not long-term.

How to know he loves you? When he makes plans for the two of you, he’s letting you know that he’s invested in a future with you.

4. He’s Willing To Wait For You

When a man really loves you, he’ll want to make sure you’re not seeing other people. He’ll ask for exclusivity and take you off the market as soon as he can.

When he wants to claim you right away, you don’t have to jump at the opportunity, you can delay exclusivity. This ensures that he wants a relationship with YOU rather than just anyone. The right man for you will be patient and will honor your timeline and the requests that you make.

You can see his intentions clearly if you delay sex until there’s exclusivity.  A man who’s interested in a long-term relationship with you will honor your request to delay physical intimacy as long as he knows you’re interested in him and simply not ready to take that step yet.

If you’re constantly wondering what his intentions are and whether he’s the man for you, then it’s time to take a step back and see if he steps forward to claim you. A man who really wants to be with you will make sure that no other man will get there before him.

5. He Doesn’t Need You To Change

If he’s asking you to behave differently or to change your appearance for him, then he’s trying to fit you into a vision of what he wants and isn’t necessarily seeing the real authentic you. Is he uncomfortable with the way you handle conflict with other people in your life? Does he complain about how you communicate with your family?

A man who truly loves you won’t ask you to change, he’ll love you as you are. If you want to be loved for who you really are have the courage to show up fully, because it’s better to find out ASAP that the two of you are not a match.

You don’t have to hide behind some mask of perfection. As a human being, you’re perfectly imperfect and your beloved will accept all the parts of you – the good, bad, and the ugly. He’ll know that you’re better together rather than apart.

It’s better to know early on that he can’t take the heat of your bright light. Shine your authentic self brightly every step of the way and you’ll find that the right man will not only stick around, but he’ll also be the man you can depend on as sure as you know the sun will rise tomorrow.

You can trust that he really loves you when he isn’t constantly expecting you to change. Instead, he’s excited to be with you because he’s fallen for the real authentic you.

6. He’s Willing To Work Through Your Differences

Many women shy away from conflict (especially early in the dating process) because they don’t want to scare a man away. They bite their tongue so they can appear easygoing and go with the flow.

For a long-term relationship, it’s important to know if the two of you can navigate conflict together. When you shy away from conflict you’ll never find out if he truly loves you. Unspoken differences can build up negative emotions inside of you until you can’t hold them any longer. You can end up exploding like a volcano when there’s a tiny disagreement and your reaction will seem out of proportion to the event.

Unresolved conflicts can create an emotional distance between you and a man who truly loves you. Couples grow apart over time because they stop communicating about their differences.

When you’re willing to speak up and risk, you’ll discover if he truly loves you or not. Conflict doesn’t have to end a relationship; it can also be a doorway to creating a deeper connection.

Here’s how to know he loves you — he’s willing to work through your differences so you can grow closer together. He won’t see conflict as a sign you’re not compatible, instead, he’ll see it as an opportunity to discover your wants and needs.

7. He Makes You Feel Safe

A man who truly loves you doesn’t leave you feeling insecure or like you can’t do anything right. He’ll be a grounding force in your life, and you’ll feel safe and comfortable with him. He’ll want you to share your feelings and create emotional intimacy with you.

You can trust that he has your best interests at heart and that he won’t try to control or manipulate you. When a man really loves you, he wants to protect you and be your “hero.” He’ll be a safe haven for you.

A guy who pressures you into doing things you aren’t comfortable with, who argues with you about your feelings, or who cuts you off from your friends and family doesn’t have your best interests at heart. Don’t waste your time if you don’t feel safe and supported by him.

8. He’s Vulnerable And Transparent With You

Emotional intimacy is the bond that keeps a couple together over time. A man who really loves you is capable of being open and vulnerable. He wants you to see his authentic self.

A man who’s falling in love will share how he feels and be transparent about who he is and what he’s doing. He won’t hide things from you or keep secrets.  He’ll want to know he can trust you with his heart.

Here’s how to know he loves you — he’s opening his heart to you and sharing the challenges he’s faced. He’ll want you to see all the parts of him and he’ll want to know you accept him as is without needing him to change.

9. He Loves The Parts Of You That Others Left You For

Are you tired of being told you’re opinionated or too strong? Frustrated that your kindness is seen as a weakness? Or are you sick of being told that your ambition has to take a back seat to his?

The right man will see your intensity as passion. He’ll see your determination and tenacity as a positive. He’ll treasure your authenticity because he won’t have to wonder about your state of mind.

A man who truly loves you will see your unique personality as the exact thing he’s looking for. Instead of making assumptions about what he may or may not want, or like about you simply express what you think and feel. He’ll find those parts of you that others have criticized you for the most loveable.

Stop searching for the secret hidden meaning in a man’s behavior. If you aren’t sure what he wants, then he probably doesn’t know either. Trying to convince him to step up and claim you will only leave you exhausted and cynical about true love.

Relax and let a man pursue you. He’ll reveal his intentions and take action to drive the relationship forward. You’ll never have to wonder if he really loves you. You’ll get to experience what it’s like to be cherished by a man.

Are you tired of questioning whether he truly loves you or not? Confused about how to know he loves you and looking for some clarity? Join us for a complimentary Soulmate Strategy Session and we can help you find the clarity you need and share the steps to create the soul connection you desire.

You can make yourself crazy analyzing his behavior and start futurizing, wishing and hoping that this will turn into love that lasts.

You may get tripped up by conflicting information, like when a guy tells you he’s not interested in anything serious, and yet he reaches out to you daily with texts and continues taking you out on dates. Contradictions like this can drive you crazy if you let them.

If he’s falling for you, it ought to be somewhat obvious, so you don’t have to play detective to figure out his intentions. It’s even more difficult when you’ve already fallen for him and you’re not willing to see the clear signs he’s not on the same page as you.

Rather than obsessing about all the subtle nuances of his behavior, start evaluating him through a discerning lens. The majority of men aren’t subtle about wanting to date you exclusively, especially if they’re interested in being with you for the long term.

How To Know If He’s Falling For You Or If It’s Just Wishful Thinking On Your Part

If you’re unsure of his intentions with you it’s time to discover if wishful thinking has clouded your judgment or if he’s truly falling for you.

1. He’s Falling For You If He Goes Out Of His Way For You

When a busy man with a full life still makes time for you it’s a good sign he’s interested in a relationship. Better yet is a man who’s willing to go out of his way for you — that’s a sign he’s actually falling for you. He will clear his schedule to show up and be your hero and make time to see you despite his busy schedule.

If he’s falling for you, he won’t make a big deal about driving over to your part of town (or to your city) to take you out on a date. He’ll fit you into his life one way or another because he’s not just looking for something that’s easy and convenient for him; he’s looking for a life partner.

The man who’s stepping up to show you how handy, smart, and capable he is wants to win your heart! He’ll adjust his schedule to fit yours; he’ll go out of his way to do something special for you, and he’ll make it obvious that he cares for you.

Dating For Companionship Vs. Dating For A Relationship

A new client of ours was dating a guy named Phil who would invite her last minute to a sporting event or concert. She was happy to go along with whatever he offered. However, during our coaching calls she told us that she wanted more from him because she was never certain about his feelings for her.

We asked her to start making requests of Phil, so she had some idea of where she stood with him. Very quickly we started referring to him as “Convenient Phil,” because as soon as she started making requests Phil disappeared. He was only interested in a relationship that was convenient for him and fit his interests. He had no intention of going out of his way for her because he was only looking for companionship.

A man who’s falling for you will be willing to do what’s inconvenient in order to please you. He’ll make an effort and go out of his way for you if it means making you happy. This is a clear sign that he’s falling for you.

At the opposite end of the spectrum, another client of ours lived in the suburbs when she started dating the man who is now her husband. She followed the dating strategies we’d given her and requested that he pick her up at home for their upcoming date to go dancing.

At the time, she had no idea that he didn’t have a car because he lived in the city center. He didn’t need his own vehicle because it was easy to rely on public transportation.

On the night of their date, he took an Uber out to her place to pick her up from home just as she’d asked. They went dancing down the block from his place in the city (she found out later), and then he took an Uber back out to her place to kiss her goodnight on her doorstep.

Not once did this man let on that there were challenges to honoring her request. He never told her he didn’t have a car of his own. He just did it; he found a way to do exactly what she’d asked of him.

The man who’s falling for you will go out of his way to win your heart, claim you for his own, and take you off the market so that other men are no longer in the running for your affection.

2. He’s Falling For You If He Makes Plans To See You In The Future

A man who’s falling for you will make plans to see you several months out. He’ll invite you on a weekend getaway; he’ll scoop up concert or theatre tickets and plan to spend quality time with you in the future.

If he’s vague about the future or unwilling to commit to any plans more than two weeks out, he’s probably not falling for you. While he may find you attractive and enjoy your company, he isn’t interested in a serious relationship.

He’s Not Just Focused On The Present

A client of ours in London met her husband online during our coaching sessions together. Shortly after they met, he scooped up tickets for a band she’d mentioned. He surprised her months later by taking her to their concert. She had no idea how he knew she liked their music — he was paying attention from date number one.

Throughout their time dating he planned trips abroad with her, asked her to events several months in the future, and made plans to introduce his family to her. Every step of the way he showed her that he saw a future with her, and he made sure they had a lot of romantic adventures.

The man who’s falling for you includes you in his future and isn’t just focused on the present. He sees you in his future and he’ll make plans that include you right alongside him.

3. He’s Falling For You If He Is Paying Attention To Your Likes And Dislikes

A man who’s falling for you will be curious about what you desire and prefer. He’ll be asking about your favorite things and if you enjoy particular activities and hobbies. He’ll also make adjustments to accommodate your preferences.

Most guys assume the same strategies that worked with women in the past will work to win you over too. They won’t update their dating skills or even think to ask about your desires. But a man who’s falling for you will be curious about you, he’ll think to ask you about your likes, so he knows how to please you and impress you.

Recently, one of our clients went on a date with a man who took her on a picnic. He included all her favorite foods including an expensive bottle of wine. She couldn’t even recall sharing all these things with him, yet it was obvious he’d been retaining her likes and dislikes from each date logging them to impress her.

Give Him The Opportunity To Make Adjustments

The man who’s trying to impress you is interested in a relationship with you. Don’t make the mistake of chastising him if he doesn’t yet know how. He may be showing off his fancy sports car and doesn’t realize you’d be more impressed to hear about his charity work.

Showing off exists in every part of the animal kingdom. The male of the species shows off to win over the female. Birds illustrate this in the most hilarious way with the male bird prancing around with puffed-up feathers. More often than not, the man who’s endlessly talking about himself is trying to show off for you (and he’s going on and on because he’s nervous).

A client of ours got a call from a guy after a first date asking if he’d done something wrong. He said that he felt like he’d blown it with her, and he wanted to know because he wanted to take her out again. She followed our Speak How You Feel Template™ and replied, “I really like it when a guy is curious about me on a date.”

They had a laugh when he realized he’d spent the whole date talking about himself. She gave him another chance and after a few more dates he asked if he could bring dinner to her place along with his guitar and play his songs for her. She said it was the most romantic date she’d ever had.

4. He’s Falling For You If He Honors Your Requests

A man who is falling for you will want to fulfill the requests you make of him. Oddly enough, most women hold their cards close to their chest and don’t speak up about their desires. It’s as if they expect a guy to just magically intuit their wishes and preferences.

Making requests throughout the dating process is the fastest, easiest way to stop wasting time with guys who aren’t that into you. Just like “Convenient Phil,” a guy who doesn’t want to step up for you will disappear when you show up authentically instead of going along to get along.

The man who’s falling for you wants to win you over and treat you like you’re the prize. By making requests you’ll find out very quickly who is taking you seriously and who’s just looking to hang out for companionship and convenience.

He’ll Surprise You With His Effort

One of our clients started dating a guy who lived in another state, but his job as an airline pilot often brought him to her city. She told us that she thought he only asked her out when it was convenient for his flight schedule.

We encouraged her to share with him upcoming events that she was interested in. He quickly caught on that she wanted him to come to town for these experiences.

Eventually, he rented an apartment in her city and turned his home out of state into a long-term rental property so he could dedicate more time to their relationship.

Many of our female clients lament to us that most men they meet are reluctant to get on the phone and make plans. They think all the guys just text at the last minute to see if they’re available.

We encourage them to make a request to be asked out ahead of time instead of a last-minute text. Men who are not interested in honoring this request quickly disappear. The men who are willing to pick up the phone and ask them out are the ones interested in a relationship.

If you’re wondering if this is only true with men of a certain age, we’ve found that even our clients in their 20s get asked out in advance and can inspire a guy to call them on the phone rather than text for a date! (Our Gen Z clients are very surprised to find out this actually works and stops wasting their time with “situationships.”)

5. He’s Falling For You If He’s Moving The Relationship Forward

A man who’s falling for you will make sure that the relationship is not just limping along or stagnant in casual dating mode. He’ll drive the relationship forward. There are a number of ways he can do this, he may ask for exclusivity, or he may introduce you to his family, his children, or his close friends.

You’ll never have to ask the man who’s falling for you, “Where is this going?” because he’s showing you every step of the way.

We haven’t really been apart since our first date. Matthew made it abundantly clear all along that he was interested in an exclusive relationship with Orna. Having been raised in Kansas City, MO Matthew usually traveled back to see his family for Christmas. At one point he made mention of his annual trip to Orna by saying, “When you meet my family at Christmas…” It was a clear sign of him moving the relationship forward.

Don’t Settle For Crumbs

Don’t settle for a man who’s just looking for you to fulfill his desires without being curious about yours. Mr. Convenient will never step up for you the way Mr. Right will. Wishful thinking on your part will cause you to make excuses for bad behavior, or you’ll be too accommodating and not speak up as your authentic self.

If you find yourself twisting into a pretzel trying to earn a man’s love you’re in trouble because you won’t be able to twist yourself up for a lifetime. Plus, if you believe that you have to win his affection, you’ll be in your masculine energy which won’t feel satisfying for you in the long term.

Men value what they have to work for. If you’re always accommodating and available it may increase the time you spend with a guy you like, but it may not get you the lasting loving partner you desire and deserve.

Don’t treat a guy as a priority when he’s treating you as an option! You can hope that he likes you but don’t give too much slack to a stranger you’re just getting to know because you hope he likes you as much as you like him.

If you find yourself constantly wishing that he would step up and move the relationship forward or getting attached to Mr. Convenient, it may be time for a change in your dating strategies. Instead of trying to convince him to change his mind, join us for a complimentary Soulmate Strategy Call and we’ll share the secret to finally having the soulmate relationship you desire.

It’s common to hear the phrase “momma’s boy” being used as an insult, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. But not all momma’s boys are doomed at love, some of them make great partners.

Recognizing the signs of an emasculated man and understanding what causes him to be labeled a momma’s boy can reveal why he’s a great catch.

What Is A Momma’s Boy?

When you hear the term “momma’s boy,” you may picture a man who’s overly attached to his mother and unable to form meaningful romantic relationships. The stereotype suggests that such men are weak, emasculated, and incapable of being good partners. However, this is far from the truth.

This derogatory label is often used to describe men who rely on their mothers for emotional and practical support. They may struggle to establish their independence, make decisions, and assert themselves in social situations. In some cases, they may even prioritize their mother’s needs and wishes over their own.

This stereotype is often reinforced in popular culture, where momma’s boys are portrayed as weak and unmanly. They’re often the butt of jokes, and their inability to establish romantic relationships is seen as a failure on their part. This stigma can be harmful and may prevent people from recognizing the strengths and positive qualities of an emasculated man.

We’re giving it to you straight: Not all men who have close relationships with their mothers are “momma’s boys” — in the negative sense of the term. In fact, a man with a strong bond with his mother can be a positive attribute that can bring you many benefits.

Why He’s a Momma’s Boy

There are many reasons why a man may become a momma’s boy and appear as an emasculated man. Perhaps he grew up in a household where his mother was the dominant figure in the household (or the only parent). As a boy, the close relationship with his mother drove him to seek out her approval, attention, and validation.

Another reason that can compel a man to become a momma’s boy is to have been bullied as a child, either by a domineering father or by older siblings. His feelings of fear and shame in regard to his perceived weakness may cause him to seek the approval of a strong woman to feel better about himself.

A man may become a momma’s boy simply because he values the relationship he has with his mother. There’s nothing inherently wrong with having a close relationship with one’s mother, but it can become a problem if it interferes with his romantic relationships. The concept of an emasculated man as “whipped” doesn’t necessarily hold up to the negative stereotype.

The Highly Sensitive Man

Men who are highly sensitive or empathic are often mistaken for being a momma’s boy. These men are intuitive, emotional, and perceptive. Sensitive, empathic men can have a difficult time navigating society’s expectations of masculinity.

An empath is attuned to the energy of others. It’s unfortunate the emasculated man is put down for having a strong connection to his emotional life. In a romantic relationship sharing feelings is the path to creating connection. Although empaths can have difficulty distinguishing their own feelings from someone else’s, this can also be true of all couples who spend a lot of time together.

The highly sensitive man can become overwhelmed by their partner’s emotions and feel the need to withdraw or check out emotionally. If given the space to recharge and recalibrate their energy, they’ll once again be available to reconnect emotionally.

Are Momma’s Boys And Empaths Emasculated Men?

An emasculated man has lost his sense of masculinity or is constantly belittled or controlled by a dominant partner. This can lead to a variety of behaviors that are often associated with the momma’s boy stereotype.

He may feel that his masculinity has been diminished or undermined in some way. Either because of a lack of role models, societal pressure to conform to gender norms, or experiences of trauma or abuse can all contribute to him feeling emasculated.

The emasculated man may feel both embarrassed and ashamed of himself as a man. As a result, he may try desperately to either prove his masculinity to others or to hide the fact that he perceives himself as lacking. For whatever reason, his limiting belief (or fear) is that he’s devoid of what it takes to be a ‘real’ man.

However, because of these experiences, he can develop a strong sense of empathy and compassion for others. It gives him permission to be more authentic to himself and he may develop his feminine side. By developing his softer side he may give himself permission to express his creativity.

8 Signs of an Emasculated Man + Why He’s A Great Catch

Signs of an emasculated man can manifest differently in different men. Society tends to judge an emasculated man as less than macho men. His fear and shame of how he’s perceived, and his insecurity can cause him to overcompensate to prove his masculinity. This behavior is the source of many dark and toxic aspects of masculinity.

However, it’s important to remember that these signs do not necessarily indicate that a man is weak or incapable of forming healthy relationships. In fact, many men who struggle with emasculation are sensitive, empathetic, and emotionally intelligent, which can make them wonderful life partners.

1. He Lacks Confidence

He may struggle to make decisions without seeking approval from his partner or he may be overly self-deprecating. A momma’s boy may also be more passive in his romantic relationship, casting you in the power position and letting you take the lead when making plans and decisions.

He may be a great catch because he isn’t trying to dominate the relationship. He’s open to your feedback and respects your opinion. If you share with him how his actions bring you happiness and make you feel loved, his confidence can grow in the relationship.

2. He Lacks Assertiveness

It may be difficult for him to stand up for himself or express his needs and desires. Instead, he may avoid conflict and try to keep the peace at all costs. This may lead to him harboring resentments that reveal themselves over time.

He may be a great catch because he’s open to creating a win-win with you. His easy-going nature makes him easy to get along with. He’s used to strong women so he isn’t threatened by your assertiveness. Encouraging him to share his feelings and showing him that conflict can be a doorway to creating a deeper connection will ensure his frustrations don’t build up and cause a rift between you.

3. He Struggles With Intimacy And Emotional Vulnerability

Intimacy and emotional vulnerability may be challenging for him. He may have a hard time expressing his emotions and opening up to you, which can lead to a lack of connection in the relationship.  may come across as aloof or uncaring.

He may be a great catch if you can coax him to feel safe enough to show his sensitive side. Once he realizes he can be vulnerable with you he will bond through emotional intimacy. Create a safe space for him by not judging his feelings or trying to fix them. Acknowledge his feelings and you may find that he will melt your heart.

4. He Defers To The Women In His Life

An emasculated man will seek the advice of the important women in his life and defer to their judgment. He may not move quickly in the dating process, instead he’ll be looking for clues from you about how or if to proceed.

He may be a great catch because he’s more likely to be nurturing and caring. Having grown up with a strong maternal figure it’s likely he’s been taught the importance of emotional support and care. This can lead to him being a more compassionate and understanding partner.

He understands the value of a woman’s perspective and is less likely to engage in toxic or abusive behaviors in a relationship. Show him appreciation for the trust he places in you and your judgment, and he’ll be a loyal partner to you.

5. He Second Guesses Himself

When he does make a decision he can question his choices. Masculine energy is decisive and focused. Since he’s out of touch with his masculine side, he may not trust himself so he may overthink everything.

A momma’s boy has likely developed strong values and a sense of integrity. He may be more likely to live up to his word and follow through on his commitments, which can make him a reliable and trustworthy partner.

Put your trust in him, and over time he will learn to trust his decision-making process.

6. He Follows Instead Of Leads

An emasculated man isn’t going to feel comfortable being a leader. His habit of deferring to others and his lack of trust in his decisions can cause him to be more of a follower than a guy at the front of the line.

If you’re the type of woman who likes to be in charge and doesn’t mind leading the relationship forward, an emasculated man may be an ideal match for you. He will prefer that you make the plans, and he will go along and follow your lead.

7. He Lacks Self-Esteem

An emasculated man can lack self-esteem which can cause him to appear weak and insecure. His need for validation can make him slow to make decisions as he seeks confirmation of his choices from others.

He may be a great catch because he’s open to challenging traditional gender roles. A momma’s boy may be more willing to question traditional gender roles and expectations because he’s likely experienced a loss of power and control over his own life. He may be more open to sharing household and parenting responsibilities, for example, and less likely to expect his partner to conform to gender norms.

8. He’s Overly Sensitive Or Defensive

Sensitivity or defensiveness are signs of an emasculated man that make it difficult to hold him accountable for his behavior. He may have thin skin and take your feedback as criticism.

He may be a great catch if he’s committed to personal growth and self-improvement. An emasculated man often struggles with feelings of inadequacy and may be more motivated to work on himself and grow as a person. He can be less likely to become complacent in a relationship and more likely to put effort into personal and relationship growth.

Of course, it’s important to remember that not all momma’s boys who have close relationships with their mothers are automatically great catches. Evaluate his behavior and determine his capacity to fit the vision of your ideal relationship before committing your heart.

Most importantly, don’t pull a bait and switch! If you pursue a relationship with an emasculated man and a few months in expect that he will suddenly step up and pursue you, that’s an unrealistic expectation. You have to think of him like a minivan, he’s not going to ever accelerate and turn corners like a Maserati.

Overall, it’s important to remember that a momma’s boy is not defined solely by his struggles with masculinity. He’s a complex and multifaceted individual with many positive qualities to offer in a long-term relationship. By recognizing and valuing these qualities, you can see past harmful stereotypes and create a more positive and fulfilling relationship with a sensitive, empathic man.

If you find that you’re unsure of your overall type of man and have trouble picturing the kind of dynamic that would be most fulfilling for you book a Soulmate Strategy Session with us. There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to lasting love, so if you’re tired of spinning your wheels and want some serious forward movement toward sharing your life with the love of your life, we’ll help you create a custom plan just for you!

If you’re tired of chasing after unavailable men or having your heart broken by an alpha male, maybe it’s time to change up your dating strategies and look for a new kind of man.

Before we dive into the benefits of nerdy guys as potential partners, let’s define what we mean by a nerdy guy. The plainest definition of a nerd is someone who is passionate about something that most people have a passing interest in.

A nerdy guy is typically someone with a strong interest in science, technology, engineering, mathematics (STEM), and other areas such as literature, history, or gaming. He’s generally considered socially awkward or introverted, preferring to spend time alone or with a small group of close friends. However, being a “nerdy guy” is not a negative trait — it simply means that he’s enthusiastic about intellectual and niche topics.

He’s probably not your typical alpha male. His focus on developing his intellect may have come at the expense of building muscle, but that doesn’t mean that he isn’t attractive in his own way. A nerdy guy may not be as assertive and confident at the beginning, but that doesn’t mean that he’s not able to step up, sweep you off your feet, and meet your needs.

Dating a nerdy guy can be your chance to finally meet a man who’ll acknowledge and respect you, put in the effort to win your heart, and be your hero. What’s different about dating a nerdy guy than your usual type?

9 Reasons Why Nerdy Guys Can Be Attractive To Women

1. Nerdy Guys Are Smart

Nerdy guys tend to be highly intelligent and have a depth of knowledge about their interests. He’s got a lot of unique perspectives and insights that will intrigue you and pique your intellect. It’s likely that a mental connection will be the initial reason you find him attractive.

A nerdy guy’s superpower is that the largest erogenous zone is the space between your ears — so he’ll win your affection by going through your mind first. Once he wins your heart, the intellectual connection between you lights up a fire of passion too.

2. Nerdy Guys Are Passionate

One reason nerdy guys are attractive is because they immerse themselves in their interests which becomes magnetic when one of his passions is you! His enthusiasm can be infectious and fun to be around. He’ll make you feel like you’re the only woman in the world.

You won’t ever have to worry about finding things to talk about. When you’re curious and ask questions about his interests he’ll talk for hours. He’ll also want to know everything about you!

3. Nerdy Guys Have A Unique Sense Of Humor

Whether it’s clever wordplay or ironic insights, nerdy guys often have a quirky sense of humor that can be both witty and charming. His humor can come from a life spent observing others, as he probably wasn’t the popular kid growing up.

He may also have a self-deprecating quality to his sense of humor that opens your heart to his sensitive side. Any way you look at it a nerdy guy’s sense of humor will keep you entertained and chuckling at life’s oddities.

4. Nerdy Guys Are Kind And Loyal

Unlike the typical alpha male, nerdy guys are generally kind, loyal, and respectful toward women. They may have been teased or bullied in the past, which can make them more empathetic and compassionate toward others. They’re used to being the underdog and so they have sympathy for others.

Treat him well and he’ll be loyal to you. When he feels appreciated and supported by you, he’ll stick with you and respond in kind. Nery guys are attractive because they ooze empathy, he’s going to take care of you and see that your wants and needs are met.

5. Nerdy Guys Are Good Conversationalists

Nerdy guys often have a wealth of knowledge about their interests, which can lead to fascinating and informative conversations. His passion and curiosity can make him an engaging conversationalist. He’s happy to share details with you about his hobbies.

A big plus that makes nerdy guys attractive is that he’s more likely to ask questions about you and be a good listener rather than a man who is self-absorbed and trying to puff himself up to impress you.

6. Nerdy Guys Put In The Effort

Nerdy guys have faced rejection or difficulties in social situations in the past, which has led them to value and appreciate the connections they make with others. He’s more likely to plan thoughtful dates, remember important details about your life, and show appreciation for your interests and passions.

He may be socially awkward at times, but he makes up for it by being attentive, thoughtful, and dedicated to you. He’s more willing to put in time and effort to build a strong emotional connection with you because of the challenges he’s faced in relationships. Nerdy guys are attractive because they will value you!

7. Nerdy Guys Are Appreciative

Yes, nerdy guys can often be very appreciative partners. This is because of the strong sense of empathy and understanding he developed from feeling like an outcast. This can motivate him to appreciate your efforts to connect with him.

He’ll also be more likely to value your intelligence, creativity, and unique perspective rather than just your physical appearance. His attraction to you won’t be superficial, instead he’s built for a relationship that stands the test of time.

8. Nerdy Guys Aren’t Caught Up In Toxic Masculinity

Nerdy guys are generally less concerned with traditional masculine behaviors and are more focused on being authentic to themselves and their interests. Being less interested in

traditional gender roles, he may be more open to sharing household duties and making decisions together.

He’s not trying to prove how strong and stoic he is because that’s never been a strength of his. A lot of nerdy guys were victims of toxic masculinity and therefore reject traditional definitions of masculinity.

9. Nerdy Guys Will Honor Your Requests

Because of their strong sense of empathy and understanding, nerdy guys can be very respectful of your requests and boundaries. He’s more likely to be very detail-oriented and attentive, which can make him good at following through on his promises and commitments. If he makes an agreement with you, he’ll stick to it and make sure you feel respected and heard.

Nerdy guys are more likely to have realistic expectations for an intimate relationship, and he won’t expect you to cater to his wants and needs. He’s going to show you that you can rely on him and that he’ll stand by you.

Best Practices For Dating A Nerdy Guy

1. Talk Across The Brain To Be Heard

Because he’s intellectually oriented he may not have the best communication skills for expressing his emotions. Instead of asking him how he feels about something, ask him what he thinks. Giving him the space to share his thoughts will reveal a lot about how he feels. He may not be as quick to find the words to express what’s going on. Be careful of the desire to fill in the blanks or interrupt him. If he feels safe expressing himself with you then he’ll gradually open up even more.

Here’s an easy template, “I feel ________, what do you think?” Talking across the brain is a great way to connect with a nerdy guy so he’s able to share with you what’s going on with him. You may find that he ends up sharing his feelings with you after all!

2. Be Authentic And Make Requests

Because he doesn’t have “game” when it comes to women, he probably isn’t tuned in to masculine and feminine energy and their differences. He may not intuitively understand what you want or need. Make sure to share with him how you’re feeling and make requests. He’ll show his desire to please you by how quickly he adjusts to meet your needs. He wants you to be happy and he wants to be the source of your happiness. Don’t be subtle; tell him what you want so that your desires aren’t a secret.

3. Embrace Your Own Nerdy Side

Don’t be afraid to show your own nerdy or goofy side. If you share some of his interests, talk about them and share your own opinions and experiences. He’ll like you more when you reveal your inner geek.

Also, a nerdy guy likes to debate with facts so don’t be afraid to disagree or have a different point of view. He’ll find it a turn-on that you have your own perspective and aren’t afraid to disagree with him.

4. Be Patient With His Introversion

Nerdy guys may be more introverted and socially awkward, so it’s important to be patient and understanding. Don’t push him to socialize or make him feel uncomfortable in social situations. Also, give him space to refuel after you’ve spent time socializing. He’ll probably want to retreat to his man cave and hibernate.

Most men need time to recharge, and time spent alone tinkering on a computer or in a workshop allows them to recharge and produce testosterone.

5. Let Him Know That His Efforts Count

Behavioral change isn’t always easy, so encourage him rather than criticize him, and he’ll make the effort to step up for you. He may have agreed to your request, but it may take time for that new behavior to become a habit. The key is whether he’s putting the effort in. If he’s trying to make the changes you’ve asked for, let him know that his efforts count.

6. Be Curious About His Interests

Ask him about his favorite books, movies, TV shows, or video games. Even if you don’t share the same hobbies, showing a genuine interest in what he likes can help you bond and build a connection.

Dating a nerdy guy can open you up to a new experience of what a man can provide for you. He may not be the alpha male you think you’re looking for, but he can show up for you in so many other ways that you won’t miss it.

These tips for dating a nerdy guy are only one way to switch up your dating strategies. If you’re tired of the same lather-rinse-repeat experiences in your dating life join us for a complimentary Soulmate Strategy Session. We’ll help you create a personalized plan for taking a new approach to love and ultimately, finding your soulmate.

Why won’t he let me in? I’ve been dating my boyfriend for several months and I’m struggling with whether I should continue or not. I’ve been trying to get him to open up to me, but he won’t let me in and I’m not sure if I can take it anymore.

He’s a good guy, but he’s so guarded, and I never really know what’s going on with him. How do I get him to open up to me? I don’t know what he’s thinking because he never tells me what’s going on. I feel like I’m in the dark.

Please help!

Heather”

Dear Heather,

There are many reasons why he won’t let you in and most of them have nothing to do with you. You’ll want to see if you can figure out the cause and determine if it’s his inability to be emotionally authentic or tied to your relationship dynamics. Discovering the root cause of the problem will give you the information you need to decide whether to stay or go.

6 Reasons Why He Won’t Let You In

1. He’s Not Emotionally Available For A Relationship

He could be emotionally unavailable for any number of reasons – addiction, emotional immaturity, defensiveness, withdrawal, or passivity. Whatever the reason, it’s impossible to create emotional intimacy with a man who isn’t open to it.

You have control over what you think, feel, and do, however, you cannot control what he thinks, feels, or does. Make sure you’re not twisting into a pretzel trying to get him to let you in.

Why won’t he let you in? He’s not available for an emotionally intimate relationship.

2. He Doesn’t See The Relationship Lasting Long-Term

The bad news is he could just be in it for companionship and convenience. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you or find you attractive, it means that he enjoys spending time with you but doesn’t see a future with you.

A man who wants a relationship with you will make the effort to move the relationship forward. He’ll plan dates in the future, introduce you to his friends and family, and he’ll be curious about you, so he’ll know how to make you happier. There’s nothing wrong with a convenient relationship as long as you’re both in agreement that’s all it is. Sadly, it seems that you want more, and he may not.

Why won’t he let you in? He likes you but doesn’t see a future with you.

3. He’s Conflict Avoidant

Many people are uncomfortable with conflict and go to extreme measures to avoid upsetting their partner. They avoid difficult conversations and don’t share what they’re thinking because they’re afraid of being rejected or of causing a disagreement.

Avoiding conflict creates emotional disconnection, it may seem like the relationship is stale. Not speaking up about what’s bothering you will cause you to emotionally withdraw, which makes it difficult for your partner to connect with you. When differences are approached with care and conscious communication you can create a much deeper connection and an emotional bond between the two of you.

Why won’t he let you in? He’s afraid of conflict and withholding his opinions, thoughts, and feelings.

4. He Feels Judged, Criticized, Or Pressured

It’s common for people to close themselves off if they feel judged or criticized. While you believe you’re being helpful, he’s closing off because he feels like he’s being pressured to be different. He may believe that nothing he does is good enough for you, or may not know how to please you leaving him perplexed about which action to take.

If he feels judged, then he could get defensive or stonewall you, and give you pat answers that don’t reveal what’s really going on with him.

Why won’t he let you in? He doesn’t know how to please you.

5. He’s Not Looking For Advice

There’s a reason why it’s a cliché that men don’t ask for directions. Call it pride or just a desire to figure it out on their own, many men close off when they hear you giving them advice about how to live their life or take care of themselves. Or he may internalize your advice to mean that you don’t trust him to make the right decisions. He may believe that you perceive him as weak or incapable.

His closing off to your advice could be a symptom of toxic masculinity or insecurity, or he could just bristle at unsolicited advice. If he feels like he’s being told how to live his life, he won’t feel safe to seek your counsel.

Why won’t he let you in? He doesn’t believe that you trust him to take care of things.

6. He’s Not In Touch With His Emotions

Many men had their feelings invalidated when they were boys. Often being told to “act like a man” and put their feelings aside. Because of this conditioning, they’re not in touch with their emotional life. When you ask a man raised this way how he feels, he will look at you with a blank expression — he literally can’t answer the question.

If he doesn’t know how he feels, then he’s not going to be able to share his feelings with you. Emotional connection requires that you both are emotionally authentic.

Why won’t he let you in? He’s not in touch with his emotions and therefore can’t identify or express his feelings.

Getting past these hurdles is difficult and it’s not up to you to get him to let you in, however, you can create an environment where he feels safe to open up and be vulnerable with you. Many men want to talk about their feelings more, but they need the right environment to be emotionally expressive.

It’s important to find a balance between both of your needs and wants. Make sure that you’re not going into sacrifice for him. Your needs can’t be less important or valuable than his.

How To Get Him To Let You In

 It’s not up to you to open him up so he can let you in. Keeping this in mind there are things you can do to let him know it’s safe to open up to you. Ultimately, you’ll find out if he is a match for you long-term or not.

1. Speak His Language

Women tend to be more comfortable expressing their emotions, but most men aren’t. They’re more connected to their linear, logical brain. In order to speak his language, talk across the brain. Instead of asking him how he’s feeling, share your feelings and ask what he’s thinking.

By being curious and asking about his thoughts you’re giving him the opportunity to open up to you. He may not use the same emotionally intelligent words as you, but it’s still a chance at creating connection.

2. Acknowledge And Appreciate His Efforts

The fuel a man runs on in a relationship is acknowledgment and appreciation. Rather than treating your boyfriend like a girlfriend and expecting him to reciprocate, simply express your gratitude for him and the things he does for you. This will emotionally bond him because he knows how to please you and increase your happiness.

Encourage him to speak up by expressing gratitude when he shares his feelings with you. The more you let him know that you appreciate his efforts, the more effort he’ll put into it.

3. Speak Your Truth

Emotional authenticity is the doorway to emotional intimacy. Sharing how you feel is an invitation for him to share his feelings. When you’re authentic you’re inviting him to speak his truth too.

Being authentic isn’t about him or how he is behaving (that’s your opinion). Being authentic means you’re expressing how you feel — that’s it! Be sure to use “I” language and focus your communication only on your emotional state.

4. Give Him Time To Speak

A recent study shows that women speak approximately 20,000 words a day, compared to men who speak roughly 7,000. Create a trusting environment by listening and give him time to find the right words without interrupting.

Rather than offering advice, be curious and ask if he has some options on how to handle a particular situation. If he shares his feelings with you let him know that you appreciate him letting you in; you can also take the extra step of validating his feelings.

5. Don’t Rehash The Past

It’s important to clean up any conflicts or disagreements between you. Once you’ve resolved the issue move on as bringing up the past can be demoralizing to him. He needs to know that you’re not keeping score or holding grudges.

No matter your conflicts, you’re doing the dance together and you’ve both made mistakes. Rehashing the past is like picking the scab off a wound, it will never heal and instead put a wedge between you. Say what you need to say and then let it go.

6. Take Responsibility For Your Part

You’re 100% responsible for your half of the relationship. When you take responsibility for your part, you give him permission to own his. You also let him know that you don’t blame him for what has happened between you.

Responsibility is a powerful way to assure your partner and create certainty in a relationship. The more he knows that he’s not being blamed all the time, the more likely he is to be vulnerable and share his feelings.

7. Create An Environment Of Trust

When you do your best to practice these tools, you create an environment of trust between you. The goal is not perfection. The goal is to make your best efforts.

None of these steps will guarantee that he’ll become more vulnerable and let you in. Instead, approach these tools as an experiment and see if he has the capability to meet your needs. If he starts to let you in, give him encouragement by appreciating his efforts. If things don’t change between the two of you, you have all the information you need about what he’s capable of.

Relationships have a natural ebb and flow. Knowing the progressive stages that a relationship goes through and how to navigate them will help guide you through any challenges you face together. Get the details in our special report, The 5 Stages of Relationship so you’re prepared for the journey and have the kind of relationship that you know will stand the test of time.