The key to choosing singlehood and being happy is to choose that lifestyle because it’s for your highest good and not because of limiting beliefs about relationships, or because you don’t want to be hurt again.

The desire to partner up and procreate is an integral part of being human. It’s built into species’ survival. Humans are social animals who thrive in healthy communities. This doesn’t mean that you’re required to mate for life with one person. You can be perpetually single and happy with your life if you do it for the right reasons.

There are many perks to being perpetually single. You have the freedom to live life on your terms. You can travel, change your profession, move to a new city, or even live like a nomad. When you don’t have a spouse or children to consider then you can live however you want.

It also comes with risks of loneliness or disconnection from others. Emotional connection is important to your mental health. Studies show that married people are happier than single people and live longer.

So, how do you know if you’re choosing to be perpetually single as a lifestyle choice or if you’re choosing singlehood for the wrong reasons?

7 Lessons From People Who Chose To Be Perpetually Single

1. People Who Choose Singlehood Aren’t Afraid Of Being Hurt

Those who are perpetually single by choice aren’t afraid of being hurt. They simply have other ambitions in life. Partnering up or even having sex is a distraction for them. They may be asexual and not driven by hormones. Personal relationships aren’t a priority for them because they may have a calling for something much bigger in life. They cherish their alone time and are thrilled they can do as they choose without having to answer to or accommodate anyone else.

2. They Never Worry About Ending Up Alone

Choosing to be perpetually single means you don’t have a secret desire to fall madly in love with someone… someday. These people aren’t licking their wounds or wishing and hoping someone would show up out of the blue to change their life (like in a movie). They’re content with their lives exactly as they are. They simply don’t care if they find the love of their life because it’s not even on their radar, much less a priority. They’re not worried about ending up alone because they’re choosing singlehood purposefully.

3. They’ve Taken Responsibility For Their Choice

People who consciously choose singlehood aren’t blaming someone else for putting them in this predicament. They know their reasons and they own them. They’re not looking to blame anyone or have an ax to grind. They’ve simply decided that being on their own is exactly how they want their life to be. They aren’t settling with being alone — they relish it!

4. They’re Not Setting Expectations Based On Past Experiences

People choose to be perpetually single because it’s a lifestyle they desire, not because of disappointment or the pain of heartache. They’re not letting their past dictate how they choose to live in the present, or what may be possible for them in the future. They aren’t hurt or angry that their love life didn’t turn out differently.

5. They’ve Focused On Self-Love

People who’ve chosen singlehood aren’t looking for someone to complete them or heal their wounds. They appreciate themselves and don’t expect perfection. They’re comfortable with who they are and are happy with the lives they’ve created.

6. They’ve Created Meaning In Their Singlehood

They’re not perpetually single because they’re stuck in a rut or afraid to risk their hearts. They’ve chosen singlehood because their purpose either requires or encourages them to be alone. It could be volunteer work or a vocation that requires travel and makes it difficult to settle down. Their life choices encourage singlehood, and they’re rewarded through their contribution to society.

7. They Have A Spiritual Calling

All the sages say, “Know thyself,” and people who choose singlehood may delve deep into a spiritual practice. Not all will take a vow of celibacy, but many remain celibate for years, even decades. For these people, the desire to create a connection to God, Source, Universe, or any higher power replaces the need for romantic relationships. They are fulfilled by a different calling than most people and their relationship with themselves takes priority over any romantic entanglements.

The choice to be perpetually single can be an empowering decision, however, many people are settling with singlehood instead of taking action to have a thriving love life with an ideal mate.

5 Signs You Haven’t Chosen To Be Perpetually Single And You’re Justifying Your Singlehood (aka Settling)

1. You’re Protecting Your Heart

If you choose to be perpetually single to avoid having to risk your heart, you’re essentially trying to protect yourself from future pain. Building a fortress around your heart won’t protect you forever, someone in your life could still hurt you. Instead of avoiding connecting with someone special, invest time in healing your heart. It’s the only way to put the past behind you so you can allow love in again.

2. You’re Not Good With Boundaries

If you’re afraid of losing yourself or going into sacrifice in a relationship there are options besides settling with being perpetually single. Use time alone to get in touch with things that bring you joy and get clear on your goals in life. Most importantly develop healthy boundaries. When you’re ready to get back into the dating game, you can focus on finding someone who shares your dreams and goals.

3. You Don’t Value Yourself

If you’re fixated on giving your love to someone who doesn’t offer love back or is emotionally unavailable, you lack self-esteem. Knowing that you’re worth loving is an inner transformation that’ll change your outer experience. When you value yourself, you’ll find a partner who respects and cherishes you. Healing your core wounds allows you to grow your self-love and respect from the inside out and let love in even though it’s messy.

4. You Have Unrealistic Expectations

You might be single because you’ve set the bar too high. If you’re expecting that you’ll never have conflict or miscommunication with your beloved, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Your soulmate won’t come with mind-reading powers. They won’t intuitively know what you want and need. That is a romantic fantasy. No person is perfect, but there is someone perfect for you. Setting aside your unrealistic expectations doesn’t mean you’re settling for less. It means you have a mature understanding of what to expect in a relationship.

5. You Have Limiting Beliefs About Love

If you’ve resigned yourself to being perpetually single because you think love won’t last, or you’re unlovable, or that love has to come from one specific person — you’re experiencing limiting beliefs. These false beliefs keep you stuck in a pattern of heartache. This is one of life’s most valuable lessons because when someone you love hurts you it’s an opportunity for growth. Don’t shoot the messenger, we can assure you at some point you’ll thank us for telling it to you straight. Fooling yourself by staying single will only drag out your pain.

6. You’re Easily Triggered And Can’t Manage Your Big Emotions

Intimate relationships can easily trigger old wounds, and if you’re overwhelmed by those situations then relationships will be difficult to maintain. Healthy relationships require you to start the process of healing your childhood wounds and learn how to communicate your feelings, especially when they’re overwhelming. Blowing up at people, blaming them for your problems, and failing to clean up your disagreements will block you from lasting love. Lasting love requires a skill set that includes turning conflict into a deeper connection.

7. You Don’t Understand How Relationships Work

Maybe you’re good at superficial relationships, or you have a lot of friends but can’t seem to make any of your relationships work. It could feel like love is a mystery, and you don’t know the rules of how relationships work. You see other people partnering up and you wonder why you can’t seem to make a connection.

Lasting love requires vulnerability and communication skills. If you struggle to identify how you feel and communicate those feelings to another person, then intimate relationships will be difficult to maintain. It’s more than just good sex.

Giving up on love because you’ve been hurt is like eating a bad meal at one restaurant and deciding to never eat out again. Let us show you another way so you can share your life with the love of your life. Schedule a Breakthrough Call with us to discover your unique journey to lasting love.

Simply being burned out from dating doesn’t mean it’s time to give up on the desire to share your life with an ideal partner. Instead, learn how to find love without the frustration, heartbreak, and game playing.

No matter your age, if you want to know how to find love, and it’s been elusive for you, learn to change your mindset to align with your goal. You may even begin to enjoy the dating process.

How To Find Love When You’re Too Old To Play Games

People play emotional games in their relationships because they aren’t emotionally aware or mature enough to take responsibility for their behavior. If you feel like you’ve done the work and are ready for something different, then here’s a new approach to lasting love that takes all the drama out of your search.

Finding love as a mature adult is different than when you were younger. In your teens and twenties, almost everyone you meet is single and open to new experiences. You meet people in school, through your friends, at parties, or a job. It seems like there’s an endless supply of romantic possibilities.

As you age more people are married or in a committed relationship, and it feels more difficult to meet new single people, and the ones you do meet may have baggage from their previous relationships.

If you’re focused on the negative, you’ll find more of what you expect to find. Your past experiences have clouded your perception of love and relationships. You’re clear on what you don’t want, but that won’t bring you any closer to finding the lasting love you desire.

If you want to know how to find love when you’re feeling like lasting romance has passed you by, then you’re ready to take a new, more adult approach to love.

Start With An Attitude Adjustment

All of your heartbreak and frustrations along with your dating horror stories can leave you feeling jaded about the possibility of finding love again. If you want to know how to find love again, then making an attitude adjustment will help the entire process.

Love by its nature is limitless. It doesn’t discriminate. There’s no higher power deciding that love isn’t in the cards for you.

Start by examining your negative thoughts and feelings about dating and relationships. Get curious about yourself and see if those beliefs are true, or if they’re here to protect you from getting hurt again.

If you approach every opportunity with a negative inner dialog about how it won’t work out, then you’re going to be predisposed to finding fault. Keep an open mind but stay unattached to any outcome.

See if you are looking for someone to look past your negativity and discover the diamond in the rough inside. This is asking a lot of someone else, especially a stranger who doesn’t know you have a heart of gold. Allow yourself to shine your light so that others may see the real authentic you.

How to find love when you’re tired of playing games? By being curious about yourself and in addition, curious about your dates, you create a space for a connection to form.

Let Go Of The Past

You may be holding onto hurts and disappointments from your previous relationships that left scars on your heart. These old emotional wounds are blocking you from finding love.

When you hold onto past wounds you’re energetically keeping yourself attached to the past. Maybe you feel regret for the choices you’ve made, or you’re still feeling hurt because of a past betrayal. The hurt and judgment of the past can cause you to feel more cynical about love in the present.

Cynicism is difficult to overcome if you’re unwilling to release the hold the past has on your heart. Think of a glass that’s already full, there’s no room for something new to be poured into it.

How to find love when you’re tired of playing games? Develop a regular practice of forgiveness.

Everyone makes mistakes in love because there’s no manual for how to do love. Your parents probably weren’t the best examples, and all the movies, books, and songs make you believe that love just magically happens by accident.

Lasting love doesn’t just happen, it takes some awareness, maturity, and new skills — just like everything else in life that’s worth having.

Forgive yourself and your exes for their mistakes and bad behavior. Grow from those past experiences rather than allowing them to keep you from your goal of lasting love with your special someone.

Learn From Your Mistakes

As you’re doing the work of forgiving yourself and others for mistakes made, also learn about yourself, and your ability to be more forgiving to yourself and others.

Every negative experience presents an opportunity to discover more and grow into a better version of yourself. Look for the Golden Nugget that transforms your past mistakes into treasure.

Approach your past relationships as a treasure trove of learning that can teach you to choose better partners, to communicate more clearly what you desire, and to reveal areas where you can become a better person.

How to find love when you’re tired of playing games? Learn from your mistakes and use them as fuel for growth. When you find the Golden Nugget you’ll release yourself from the hurts and disappointments of the past, freeing you to create more love in the future.

Get Clear On What You Really Want

Most people who are struggling to create lasting love are clear on what they do not want but are a bit fuzzy or generic about what they do want.

Can you create a vision of your ideal relationship? Can you see yourself with an ideal partner who will stand by you as your love grows deeper over the years?

If you can’t see it then you can’t create it. It’s impossible to create from lack. You can’t create the opposite of what you do not want.

Rather than being in reaction to the past, like looking for someone sober if you were with an addict, or someone faithful if your ex cheated, or someone who’s a good communicator because your last partner wasn’t, instead embrace the discovery of your true heart’s desire.

How to find love when you’re tired of playing games? Become clear on the dynamic you desire between the two of you. Learn new communication skills and practice them regularly.

Have a clear vision of your true soul partnership and allow it to inspire and motivate you through the dating process.

Take A New Approach To Dating

If you believe that lasting love just happens by accident then dating is like playing the lottery. You never know what you’ll get and the odds are against you. However, if you take a conscious approach to dating then it can be the best tool for creating lasting love with an ideal partner.

The old approach says that you should just grin and bear it, hoping that you’ll meet cute at Starbucks. That you’ll just know when you meet the “right” person.

This leaves you and your free will out of the equation saying you have zero control over your love life. It may be true that you can’t control another person, but you do have one hundred percent control of yourself.

How to find love when you’re tired of playing games? Stop dating backwards. Slow down the dating process. Date more than one person at a time. Relax, take your time, and allow people to reveal who they are before you commit and go exclusive.

Dating backwards is when you give someone you barely know the benefit of the doubt just because you feel some attraction or hope that they could be “The One.”

If you meet someone you’re attracted to, don’t rush to exclusivity. Don’t date with rose-colored glasses and see them for who they really are. Hold off on sex until you can have an adult conversation about what it means to you — whether that’s exclusivity or it’s just hooking up.

Dating like a grown-up means that it’s okay to have uncomfortable conversations about what you want and need in a relationship. It means that you value being authentic over being easy to get along with. Never sacrifice your authenticity for approval.

Valuing yourself through the dating process ensures you’ll meet people who value you too.

Lean Into Conflict

Most people are conflict avoidant. You probably learned to pick your battles in your relationships. Or maybe you thought that being easy-going was the key to getting along. If all you do is avoid conflict through the dating process, then you’ll never meet your ideal life partner.

Conflict is unavoidable when you share your life with another person who is a completely different person than you. When approached consciously, conflict can create a deeper connection between you so you grow closer through the years rather than grow apart.

When you’re dating someone, it’s important to discover if the two of you can navigate conflict together. Can you get past your differences and create a deeper connection? Or are you unable to find common ground or understanding? Or worse yet, do you end up with the same kind of person who dismisses your feelings rather than taking time to see your point of view?

How to find love when you’re tired of playing games? Don’t brush aside your differences. instead use conflict as an opportunity to discover more about the stranger you’ve met, to find out if this is an ideal match for love to last.

Act As If You Already Found Love

How would you go through your day if you knew without a doubt that you and your beloved are going to meet? What would be different about how you moved through the world?

When you act as if you already have what you’re looking for you are more relaxed, confident, and able to be yourself. You won’t take rejection so seriously because you know your soulmate is out there.

You don’t take any rejection personally because it just brings you closer to your goal. If it doesn’t work out with someone your only thought is, “Next!”

It’s time to stop playing games with yourself and your dates and start getting serious about finding love. Take a more conscious approach to finding love and you’ll not only find the love you desire, but you’ll find joy in the process.

How to find love when you’re tired of playing games? Hire professional help. If you’re curious about how we help our clients join us for a complimentary Soulmate Strategy Session. Take us for a test drive and see why we’ve been able to help thousands find their beloved life partner.

It’s okay to feel lonely and desire companionship, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to lower your standards for a relationship. Acknowledge your loneliness, but don’t let it define you.

With a mindset shift you can be happy being alone and still desire to share your life with an ideal partner.

Take inventory of all the good in your life right now. Be grateful that you can choose to do things without conferring with someone else. Plus, you can use this time to learn, grow, explore, and celebrate!

Tired Of Being Single? Here Are 11 Reasons to Celebrate Being Single:

1. You Have The Freedom To Explore

When you’re in a relationship, you have another person’s needs, wants, and desires to account for. Being single means you have more freedom to follow your whims and desires. You get to decide how you spend your time, energy, and resources.

How you spend your resources is the biggest indicator of what’s really important to you. Don’t let your life get dominated by screens, whether you’re binge-watching TV, gaming until late into the night, or doom-scrolling social media. Numbing yourself with a couple of drinks after work is just another strategy to avoid feeling lonely and single.

How can you explore new ideas, new places, and new experiences to keep your passion for learning and growing in life? You don’t have to travel the world or jump out of an airplane to stretch yourself and grow.

You can take a meditation class, try a new workout, or even explore parts of your town you’ve never been to before. Being single and happy is all about being inquisitive and adventurous. And a big plus, there’s nothing more attractive than a person who is curious and passionate about life. When you’re happy being alone, you’re more attractive when you decide to start looking again.

Cynicism will never get you what you want. It’ll only protect you from experiencing anything new. So if you’re truly tired of being single then being open to new experiences opens you to meeting new people! And every person you meet knows more people you haven’t met yet. Expanding your life expands the circle of people you know.

2. You Can Make Peace With Your Past

Whether it’s a difficult relationship with a parent, or a broken heart from a past lover, your old wounds keep you stuck and are in the way of creating connection with new people. This exacerbates you feeling tired of being single. Part of you wants to fill that hurt by finding someone new.

Mine your past experiences to discover about yourself and let the past go. Growing from past struggles moves you towards your highest and best self and you become more open, more loving, and more connected to your soul and to your spiritual journey in this life. Use all of your experiences as opportunities to grow and become a better version of you.

Every person has lived through circumstances that are difficult. Don’t let your experiences defeat you. It’s the meaning of those experiences that matter most to determining your future. And YOU get to decide the meaning you give to those past experiences.

Can you find the learning from those painful experiences and open your heart even wider than before? When your heart breaks, it breaks open to hold more love.

3. You Can Focus On The Positive

Your mindset is the key to feeling happy being alone. Instead of dwelling on feeling lonely and single, turn your attention to what makes you happy. Pay attention to your inner dialogue and don’t allow yourself to fall into the rabbit hole of negativity — nip that inner critic in the bud.

You have control over what you think, what you feel, and what you do. When you keep your thoughts positive, you feel better about yourself, and you take actions that are in alignment with your happiness.

Instead of wallowing because you’re tired of being single, focus on all the good in your life. Practice gratitude for what you have, celebrate your successes, and affirm your positive qualities. Managing your mindset will support you in being single and happy.

4. You Can Strengthen Your Connection To Those You Love

Whether it’s your friends or your family or both, being single gives you time to invest in all your relationships. Use this time to clean up past miscommunications or misunderstandings or create even deeper connections with the people in your life.

When you’re on your deathbed, you won’t be worried that you didn’t put in more time at the office. You’ll be reflecting on your relationships. Don’t wait until then to reach out and reconnect.

Human beings are social animals. We aren’t meant to be alone. We’re members of families and we live in communities. Open up about your feelings and connect with those in your life who are important to you. If you’re tired of being single, reconnecting with an old friend may open the door to an introduction to someone new for you to date too.

5. You Can Discover What’s Blocking You

There could be a good reason why you’re still single and it’s not about how hard it is to meet people. Being single gives you time to introspect as well as discover you’re limiting beliefs and behaviors that cause you to feel tired of being single. Reflect on your past relationships and look for any patterns that may reveal themselves.

Even if every relationship you’ve been in has been different remember, you’re the common denominator in all your relationships. You are the one constant in each of these interactions. Look for patterns in your responses to your partner’s behaviors and how you handled heartbreak or rejection.

Taking the time to focus on yourself and discover the beliefs and strategies that no longer work for you can help you avoid those same mistakes in the future. If you’ve been single for a while, then love isn’t just going to magically happen for you. Discover what no longer serves you and make the effort to change.

6. You Can Fill Your Own Cup First

Part of being single and happy is discovering what refuels you and reconnects you to your inner child. You feel lonely because you’re out of rapport with yourself. You may think that someone else will fill that empty space inside, but no one can do that for you.

Don’t expect someone else to complete you. The Jerry Maguire myth is not a healthy dynamic, in reality, it’s a co-dependent relationship.

If you have a pattern of sacrificing your wants and needs in an effort to win someone’s love, you’re setting yourself up to breed anger and resentment. Filling your own cup means you make yourself a priority so you can feel happy being alone.

Discover the difference between your needs and your wants. Needs are not negotiable, but your wants are. It’s only a healthy relationship when two complete people come together to create a third entity: the relationship.

Now, when you meet someone new, you’ll be able to show up fully and never go into sacrifice again. If you’re sick and tired of being single, fill your cup and enjoy your newfound connection to your inner child.

7. You Can Work On Your Relationship Skills

Lasting love doesn’t just happen because you’ve finally met the “right” person. There isn’t some magical person that you’ll never have a disagreement or misunderstanding with. Lasting love isn’t about luck, it’s about becoming someone capable of creating lasting love.

You probably weren’t taught effective communication in your family of origin. Most people model the bad strategies of their parents or try to do the opposite of what they experienced in their childhood. Sex is instinctual, but good communication and relationship skills have to be practiced and learned.

Discover how to communicate your feelings, especially when you’re upset or triggered. Know the steps you can take to repair a relationship when there’s conflict. Learn the difference between what’s your responsibility and what isn’t and own your stuff. These skills will ensure that you can make love last when you’re ready to try again.

8. You Can Make New Friends

It tends to be more difficult to meet new people the older you get. Your habits and routines are well-worn grooves, and you go to the same places and interact with the same people. If you’re tired of being single and are ready to feel happy being alone, put effort into expanding your circle and make new friends.

Middle-aged men are currently suffering from a crisis of loneliness in our society. Interacting with people virtually won’t create an emotional connection. Nothing is real until you meet face-to-face. It’s true for dates, as well as for making friends.

Get out into the world, talk to new people, and make new friends. You can sit in a coffee shop with a book or a magazine (not a device) and smile at everyone who comes through the door. Start a conversation by remarking on someone’s attire, or by being curious about them and asking about their day.

That stranger you befriend could be the person who introduces you to your soulmate.

9. You Can Stop Filling Your Time With The Wrong Person

Don’t spend time with someone just because you’re tired of being single. Don’t waste your precious time in dead-end relationships. Wishing and hoping that someone will change for you is like wishing and hoping that the sun will come out on a rainy day. Ultimately, you’ll just end up exhausted and frustrated that you squandered your time and energy.

Every day you spend settling with someone else you block yourself from meeting someone new. Energetically that person is taking up the space that would be filled by someone better suited for you, someone who can fulfill your needs and the majority of your wants.

Take a risk and leave that dead-end relationship. You’ll finally feel happy being alone and free up your heart to allow someone new to come along. You’ll also free up your time to explore new strategies that we’ve already shared.

10. You Can Practice Keeping And Setting Boundaries

The most common issue in intimate relationships is the ability to set and keep boundaries. Whether you’re confusing your partner’s upset with your own, or your partner doesn’t respect your feelings or beliefs, or your in-laws are imposing themselves into your relationship, boundaries are most confusing in intimate relationships.

Boundaries are about respect, trust, and self-care. Having healthy boundaries means you can create a safe space for the two of you to work through your differences and grow stronger together.

When you’re single you have fewer obligations and less concern about how to balance your own time. Being single is a great opportunity to practice keeping and setting boundaries with everyone in your life: friends, family, and co-workers. If you’re tired of being single the best thing you can do is practice healthy boundaries with everyone in your life.

The more comfortable you become with setting boundaries the more your relationships will flourish. Practicing this important life skill will ensure your ability to set and keep boundaries with your beloved. Respectful love has a boundary and honoring that boundary will set you up for success in your soulmate relationship.

11. You Can Create The Vision Of Your Soulmate Relationship

Taking time to learn, grow, release the past, and focus on becoming the best version of you, allows you to feel happy being alone and truly appreciate that right person when he/she comes along. You’ll have a different appreciation for a relationship that you consciously create.

Love by accident means that you commit to the next person who makes you feel good, whether they’re the right person for you long-term, or not. If you’re happy being alone and fulfilled in your life, you can use your discernment to choose wisely, instead of rushing into a commitment because you’re feeling lonely and single.

Get clear on what you want and why you’re choosing to make a commitment to your next partner. Don’t let the rush of chemistry and attraction blind you to whether someone is a good match for you. You and your beloved will both change and grow over time. The only way to stay on the same page is to choose a partner who shares your values and is capable of working through your differences together.

The magic will be there at the beginning no matter what, it’s the selection process that allows you to share decades together and still be madly in love.

Whether you’re currently tired of being single or celebrating this time in your life, we would be honored to be your guides to soul-satisfying, long-lasting love. You can book a call with us by applying for a Soulmate Strategy Session here.

The saying, “Misery loves company,” seems to have been written specifically about dating by people who are tired of being alone. Even if they’re bitter, at least they’ll have a group to share their misery with.

Let’s make sure this is not you — there is a way to keep your spirits high and not lose hope!

What’s Wrong With Feeling Tired Of Being Alone?

Loneliness is a universal feeling and a part of the human experience. It’s a normal emotion that everyone feels once and a while. It can become a problem if you believe that feeling of loneliness won’t go away.

When you’re tired of being alone and frustrated at your inability to connect with others, you can fall into the trap that you’ll always feel this way. You notice that even when you’re with other people (friends, family, co-workers) you feel disconnected and alone in their company. This can lead to feelings of despair that no one will ever “get you” or a false belief you’ll never experience falling in love again.

If you’re stuck in this negative mindset because you’re tired of being alone, even when you’re having fun and being adventurous a part of you secretly wishes that you were sharing these experiences with your special someone.

It’s natural to worry that you’ll never meet someone who’ll love and stick by you through life’s ups and downs.

This becomes a serious problem if you isolate and withdraw from socializing, and refuse to date or meet new people.

So how do you avoid becoming bitter on your journey to love, even though you feel so tired of being alone?

Start By Understanding The Transitory Nature Of Emotions

All emotions, good, bad, or ugly, are part of the human experience and are simply information. The desire to avoid feeling particular emotions can cause you to get stuck in that feeling rather than its natural ebb and flow.

All of your emotions are temporary sensations. They can change suddenly or slowly, depending on the circumstances triggering them and how you interact with them.

Feeling tired of being alone is simply one part of the human condition. You’re here on planet Earth to feel the full range of human emotions and at different moments in your life, you’ll experience all of them. No single emotion will be a constant throughout your life.

Just because you feel angry when someone cuts you off on the freeway, or you feel joy when you see a beautiful sunrise, doesn’t mean those feelings will last forever. It’s understood that they’re temporary.

However, feelings of loneliness, disconnection, bitterness, and frustration about your life can seem all-encompassing. Your mind may lie to you and your inner dialog may engage in your emotional stories triggering you to feel like things will never change. The truth is all your emotions will ebb and flow like waves onto the shoreline.

Some waves are bigger and some are smaller, other waves lap gently onto the shore and more come crashing down, but all waves recede to be replaced by another wave. This is the nature of your emotional life.

Identifying and expressing your feelings allows them to recede and be replaced by another feeling — regardless of whether they’re big or small, enjoyable, or not,

Being present with your emotional experiences rather than resisting or analyzing them allows you to feel connected to yourself. This connection to self is an essential component of feeling whole and complete and puts you in the seat of your power to create your life.

How Do You Change Your Relationship To Your Emotions?

The best way to change your experience of feeling tired of being alone? Re-frame your feelings of loneliness into motivation. Changing the way you think about feelings of loneliness that arise from time to time allows you to reclaim your personal power from these feelings.

For example, what if being on your own when you desire to share your life with someone is simply information that you want to create a change?

Instead of feeling tired of being alone, you felt motivated to create love. When you have the DESIRE for change – that is the catalyst to create something new. If you didn’t have the desire for it – there’s no possible way for you to manifest it in your life.

It’s your ache for love and connection that informs you how important it is for you. Every time you feel tired of being alone it can become a reminder of what you desire and motivate you to take action. Utilize this desire to spur you into action rather than lament the absence of it.

When you reframe feeling tired of being alone as the DESIRE for love you can utilize that feeling as fuel to create and manifest the soul-satisfying, long-lasting love you want.

Now this doesn’t mean that there is some miraculous, mysterious force in the universe that grants all your wishes. Just because you want something won’t make it happen for you; there’s more to it than that.

The Love You Desire Is Already Inside Of You

You can’t give something you don’t possess. If you don’t love and accept yourself, you’ll find it very difficult to be with someone who loves you. You’ll reject it. It’ll feel off and you’ll tell yourself it’s because you don’t find that particular person attractive.

When you meet someone who’s interested in you, you’ll reject them. They won’t be a match for how love feels inside of you, so you’ll question their intentions or judge them as not right for you. The energetic mismatch will keep you stuck searching for love outside of you and struggling to find it.

Your internal experience of what love feels like, how it functions, and why you’ve struggled with it are all part of your story of love. Feeling tired of being alone is just part of this story, and this story has an emotional vibration. You’re attracted to people who reflect this same vibration back to you.

To put it simply like attracts like. You’re attracted to what feels familiar to you. This is a survival mechanism in the brain. Your subconscious mind is wired to bring you more of the same familiar circumstances.

For example, if you have a fear that no man will accept the real authentic you – that you are simply too much. You’ll find that you’re rejected by the men you desire again and again and again.

There isn’t a magical person who will change this fear of being too much. You first have to shift the belief inside of you to then manifest the guy who loves you as you are.

Change your relationship with yourself and you’ll change your experience in the outer world. Love and value yourself and you’ll reject people who don’t love and value you. When you focus on your relationship with yourself, healing that part of you that’s tired of being alone, you’ll begin to see different results in your search for love.

You’ll be attracted to people who are a vibrational match to your new inner experience when you love yourself and treat yourself as worthy of love.

Believe In Your Goal And Take Action

Manage your mindset on the journey to your beloved like you know you’ve already reached the destination. Believing that your match is out there also looking for you is a way to set your journey to love on a new trajectory – one that leads you quickly to the person you’re searching for.

What if you already knew that your soulmate was waiting for you? That it’s just a matter of time before the two of you met? What would be different about your behavior on a date? How would you respond when things didn’t go exactly as you had hoped?

Would you still feel tired of being alone?

If you knew without a doubt that your soulmate was waiting for you then you wouldn’t be so worried about what others thought of you. You wouldn’t spend so much time worrying about why it didn’t work out with the guy who disappeared.

If you believed your beloved was right around the corner, you could date with openness and authenticity and just relax by being you. No more second guessing trying to please a stranger by making assumptions about what they may or may not like about you.

Having a full life is also essential. It’s backward thinking if you’re wishing and hoping that someone will show up to change your life. No one is coming to save you. Change your life first – and the right match for you will become visible to you.

Break Your Old Patterns

You can’t create something new using your old patterns that haven’t worked. Create new results by trying new strategies and shaking things up.

Feeling tired of being alone is a signal that you desire to change. Your feeling state is a tangible result of your wish to spend your life with someone.  Unfortunately, wishing is not enough to move you toward your goal.

Taking NEW ACTIONS is how you begin to break old patterns and create new ones.

Selecting which new actions to take is somewhat important, but not as important as doing things that you’ve never done before.

Don’t put off living your life until you’re in a relationship. Make those plans and take those trips now. Fill your life with activities that bring you joy.

You can change your feeling state by changing your physical location, your inner dialog, exercising, listening to music, or laughing. Taking new actions will shift your emotional state and allow you to feel more resourceful.

When you’re feeling more resourceful you can make better decisions and take more effective actions. This is the key to reclaiming your power over your emotional state and turning feeling tired of being alone into new actions that bring more connection into your life.

To simplify and speed up the process you may need a guide – someone who has been where you are, and now in the present has what you desire. This is the fast track to manifesting what you want.

Let’s set you up for success! Join us for a Soulmate Strategy Call and we’ll come up with a specific plan for you to create the long-lasting, soul-satisfying love you desire and deserve.

This longing can feel a lot like grief; like you’re missing someone who’s not in your life yet. And the most mundane experiences can trigger feelings of loss. Simple activities like going to the movies, out to dinner, biking, or going on a walk, can all feel like they lack something when you don’t have a special someone to share it with.

The problem with feeling depressed about being single is that it can drain your motivation to make changes to your approach to seek out the love you desire. You can always change your strategies and in this case doing something new and different may lift you out of this mournful place you seem stuck in.

Lasting Love Doesn’t Just Happen

Instead of being depressed about being single, you can transform the longing you feel into action steps and make a plan to end your loneliness. Contrary to what you may believe, the real way to ensure you’re not perpetually single is to set an intention, create a plan, and implement a strategy for lasting love. This may sound somewhat unromantic, but creating love is no different from any other goal you may have in life.

In the same way that you wouldn’t expect your ideal career to simply show up in your life or wake up one day toned, fit, and beach body ready, the same is true when it comes to long-lasting love. You aren’t going to stumble onto your soulmate at Starbucks when you least expect it.

Yet somehow you have come to believe that love “magically” happens. And if it doesn’t happen magically then it’s not the “right” person.

The randomness of accidental love can leave you feeling like there is something wrong with you; like God or the Universe is conspiring against you to keep you lonely and alone. All in all, it can leave you feeling powerless to change your circumstances.

Every Goal Worth Achieving Requires A Plan

If you’re depressed about being single then the first step is to take new actions. Your circumstances won’t magically change when you least expect them to. The place to begin is with you – take a deep dive into your relationship history. Understanding your past patterns and strategies will give you insight into how to approach things differently this time around. Ultimately, you are the common denominator in all of your relationships. Acknowledging this will put you in the driver’s seat of your love life allowing you to evaluate which changes to make for yourself instead of feeling hopeless.

You do not get love from another person – you share love with them. When you step into this universal truth you can let go of those who are not a match for your growth and leave sorrow and heartbreak in the past.

As you do this exercise, you’ll want to examine all your significant relationships and look for patterns. The significance comes from your emotional investment in the relationship rather than the amount of time or commitment on the part of your ex. If you were deeply invested, it counts even if it was only a relationship for several weeks.

Step 1 – Track Your Relationship History

Answer these questions and track your replies:

1. Who pursued who?
2. How long did the relationship last?
3. Rate the intensity for you on a scale of 1-10
4. Who initiated the breakup?
5. What reason(s) were given for the breakup?

Review your answers and look for patterns and/or commonalities.

Then, ask yourself:

• Are you the one who usually initiates the breakup?
• Or are you the one left feeling abandoned?
• When you did not initiate the breakup is there a common catalyst given to you by multiple partners?

By exploring your relationship patterns, you will gain valuable insight into what worked and what didn’t. These clues will highlight what you can do differently moving forward.  They are the puzzle pieces you’ll need to assemble to stop feeling depressing about being single and instead go out in the world and create a new kind of relationship – one that is fulfilling and lasting.

Emotions may get stirred up for you as you go through this process. It is very important that you feel your emotions. Don’t try to hide from them or ignore them. Allow them to surface and flow through you. They won’t last.

When you’re feeling joy, or happiness, or even bliss, you don’t believe that you will feel that way forever. However, when you feel depressed about being single, it feels as if those feelings will never change, and you’ll somehow get stuck feeling badly forever. The truth is that all emotions are transitory – they will shift and change. Allow whatever feelings come up to move through your body. Simply feel them and let them go without judging them (or yourself).

Step 2 – Forgive Yourself And Your Past Partners

Going over your relationship history, you may discover some unresolved hurt, anger, sadness, or grief about those past events. These feelings might be attached to the other person, or your own behavior in the relationship. You may have even had some regrets.

This is a great opportunity to release those feelings and start fresh. One of the most powerful forgiveness practices is a Hawaiian meditation called Ho’oponopono.

Pono in Hawaiian means integrity and Ho’oponopono means coming into integrity with yourself. Doing this practice will allow you to forgive and release hurts and heartbreaks from your past relationships.

To practice Ho’oponopono, follow these steps:

1. Place your palms on the center of your chest – your heart center.
2. Close your eyes and picture the person you wish to focus on. This may be a past partner, or it may be an earlier version of you.
3. Say these 4 phrases aloud:
   • I’m sorry.
   • Please forgive me.
   • Thank you.
   • I love you.
4. Repeat for 5-10 minutes daily.

Stepping into forgiveness frees you from feeling depressed about being single and allows you to create new feelings moving forward. By releasing the negative emotions that are attached to past events you will clear your emotional deck. The events could’ve occurred yesterday or decades ago, the timeframe doesn’t really matter. You’ll be open to dating again by starting from a clean place. This time, you’re going to do it differently than you’ve done it in the past.

Step 3 – Change Your Approach To Finding Love

Most people feel depressed about being single because they suffer through dating long enough to find someone they are attracted to and then rush into exclusivity hoping it works out. And when it doesn’t, they think that they are just going to be stuck being perpetually single.

We highly recommend slowing down your selection process. Take ample time before moving into exclusivity and physical intimacy. Selecting a life partner is not something you do after a handful of dates.

Date a lot of people, and date a full range of people. Attraction is not a requirement for a date – it’s actually better to have a mix so you end up going on dates with your attraction level at a one, or ten, and everything in between. This is where you can discover about your own patterns and strategies BEFORE you commit your heart.

By dating this way, you’ll create the opportunity to collect a lot of data on yourself. These golden bits of information will ultimately lead you to make better choices and more truthful decisions about who and what makes you truly happy.

Varying your experiences through the dating process allows you to create an accurate vision of your true soul partnership. It also allows you to disregard highlighting anything you do not want. There’s no need to look out for that guy who might cheat – let your mind get clear on what you really do desire from a romantic partner.

Dating with a range of attraction levels enables you to garner a truthful set of answers on what feels right to you, rather than only dating people that inspire expectations and high hopes for longevity.

Step 4 – Enter The Dating Lab

At the end of each date, ask yourself these questions:

• Are you more able to be authentic when you are not attracted to your date?
• When you are attracted to your date do you twist into a pretzel trying to get that person to like you?
• Do you go with the flow and tolerate things just so that you come across as easy-going?

Going on a lot of dates with a variety of people will formulate the vision of the kind of relationship you desire so that it becomes crystal clear. This process will allow you to become more discerning of who you give your heart to. The experience will ensure that you stop investing in people who can never love you the way you most desire to be loved.

Remember, the person you are getting to know is a stranger. Do not put your lovability (or even your likeability) in someone else’s hands. Expecting that someone else will bestow love on you is a recipe for heartache. Having long-lasting, soul-satisfying love is an inside job – it doesn’t come from outside of you.

Step 5 – Run The Experiment

While dating, show up authentically by making requests and asking for what you want. Don’t be shy. Equally so, don’t expect the other person to read your mind. The only way to get what you want is to ask for it. You know this at work; apply the same thinking to your dating partner.

When making requests, pay close attention to how he responds to you. What happens when there are bumps in the road? When you are emotional, or the two of you have a disagreement or miscommunication, how does he behave?

How he behaves and treats you under a variety of circumstances will inform you about the kind of person he is and what it would be like to be in a relationship with him long-term.

Do not look for conflicts, and at the same time do not avoid having uncomfortable conversations. You’ll want to know if the two of you can navigate conflict together. That’s a real part of life and none of us avoids it no matter how much we want to.

Step 6 – Start To Draw Conclusions

All of this data will begin to give you a clear picture of how you want your soulmate relationship to function over the long haul. The longer you practice, the easier it will be to see what you truly desire from your beloved and what is required for you to create a true soul partnership.

Instead of feeling depressed about being single, you’ll have a plan for creating lasting love.

From there, you can more accurately evaluate which guy is a match to your vision and pleasantly walk away from the ones who are not the right fit.

When you know how you want your soulmate relationship to function and the dynamic you desire between the two of you, you’ll stop wasting time with those who are not an ideal match for you. Only when your values match with your partner’s will you create the kind of relationship that can navigate the inevitable challenges that life will bring your way and stand the test of time together.

Step 7 – Discover If You Share Values

Why are mutual values so important?

What often tears people apart is a stressful event or situation that reveals that the two of you didn’t value the same things. Knowing these important details is so much more important than the kind of movies or music you both like.

You cannot discover what someone values by asking them. You must discover what someone values by spending time with them and paying attention to how they spend their resources. People value what they spend their time, energy, and money on.

For example, someone may claim to value family and yet never spend time with their family, or never make an effort to include you in their family events. This would be a very telling red flag warning. Plus, you cannot ask someone if they value honesty as you will never get an accurate response. Trust the process and take your time discovering if you two are match long-term or not.

Step 8 – Visualize Your Soulmate Relationship

As you get clear on your ideal soulmate relationship, you want to put some time and energy into visualizing yourself living life alongside your beloved. Hold the vision of what you desire in your mind’s eye often. Begin to act as if you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that your soulmate is on his way to you.

All of these steps are the preparation. The opportunity comes when you put effort into meeting new people. Then you get to road test your visualization, values, and patterns to see if this new and improved version of you lines up with how you interact on dates.

Step 9 – Put Yourself Out There

And speaking of dates, look for reasons to say “Yes!”

• Yes to a date
• Yes to online dating
• Yes to go to a party where you don’t know anyone
• Yes to being curious about people
• Yes to being set up on a blind date
• Yes to an activity you’ve never tried before

Put yourself out there and be curious and open. Be cautious about futurizing and investing your heart to a stranger. Date often but take things slowly and invest time to discover who he really is.

You cannot spot a soulmate in an online profile, so stop evaluating whether he is your guy based on his pictures or what he wrote. Nothing is real until you meet face-to-face in person. Even video chat will not enlighten you to know in advance if this guy is your “Mr. Right.” An emotional connection is established when you’re in the physical presence of the other person.

By taking your time through the dating process, you will eliminate the burnout from having short-term relationships that don’t last and going back to the dating pool discouraged and frustrated time and again.

Being depressed about being single is a temporary situation. Find hope and look for evidence of love around you. The elderly couple holding hands as they walk, the young parents taking their baby out in a stroller, a young man opening the door for his date as they enter a restaurant.

If you’ve changed your dating strategies and are still struggling to meet your soulmate, your internal GPS for love could be corrupted with bad coordinates. And if you haven’t identified and transformed your subconscious settings for love, then it is still driving your choices in all your relationships! It even affects who you have the spark of attraction with!

Isn’t it time you released these blocks to love?

Click here to start now and watch a 3-minute video for a new way to do love.

Whether you desire to lose weight, to have financial security, or to finally create lasting love, feeling sick and tired of the way things are can be the impetus for making a shift. Unfortunately, your motivation will begin to falter and your results will suffer if you’re relying on your desire for change to keep you going.

You see, when you are motivated by discomfort you actually begin to lose motivation as soon as you start to feel comfortable again. Losing a few pounds, paying off a couple of debts, or getting a date or two with an interesting person might be enough to stagnate your motivation and then you relax in your efforts.

You can also falter when you hit a couple of bumps in the road. Maybe you slip and gain back a couple of pounds, or an unexpected expense drains your savings account, or you fail to get any action on your dating profile. You can falsely see these setbacks as evidence that what you desire isn’t going to work out.

So how do you overcome these natural impediments to actually making changes in your life and persist towards your goals?

The key is to add inspiration to your discomfort and to create a plan that motivates you all the way to achieving your goal. These three elements – discomfort, inspiration, and a plan – are the keys to achieving anything you want in life.

Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing. So, if you’re tired of being alone and are ready to get back in action here a few steps you can take right now to make sure your relationship status will change in the direction you desire.

Tired Of Being Alone? Follow These Tips To Get Back In Action

1. Let Go Of Your Excuses

Maybe you think you’re too old, or you don’t feel attractive, or you find it difficult to meet new people. These excuses are not doing you any good. You may feel like you need your reasons to keep your heart safe from heartbreak, but no one is coming to knock down those walls.

Ultimately your reasons for not dating are simply excuses. They are keeping you “safe” from what you desire.  Make a conscious effort to take action anyway. Some of your reasons may be true, but they shouldn’t stop you from making an honest effort toward creating the change you desire.

Put your excuses aside and see if you can find evidence that contradicts your beliefs. Look for stories of people who fell in love after 65. Notice that there is a lid for every pot – that all kinds of people of varying shapes and sizes find love. Remember that nothing is gained unless you are willing to take a risk.

Stop wallowing, set aside your excuses that you’re feeling tired of being alone, and allow yourself to open up to the possibility of creating an ideal relationship.

2. Take Things Slowly And With Purpose

It may feel exciting to go all in an attempt to change everything, but you’re setting yourself up for failure if you act without getting your plan in place first. Do some research about how dating has changed. (Hint: It hasn’t really. The only thing that has changed is the technology you use to meet people.)

Invest some time in looking for a guide or a coach so you have the support you need and a skilled partner in creating a plan.

Are you cynical about dating apps and online dating? Get information about how to create a good profile and how to best use these tools for meeting a lot of new people. Dating apps are tools just like a hammer or a chainsaw. If you don’t know how to use the tool it doesn’t make the tool bad or worthless, it means you need to educate yourself.

Take time creating your dating profile and make sure it stands out from the rest. Everyone can write a list of things they like and don’t like (sadly the majority of the lists are identical). Tell a story. Share your sense of humor. Be clear on who you are and what you are looking for.

Tired of being alone? Don’t let your cluelessness of how to best use a dating app stop you from learning how and going on dates.

3. Update Your Dating Skills

Most people date as adults the same way they dated when they were in their teens and twenties. As soon as you meet someone you like, you jump into exclusivity and hope that it works out. Or you find excuses why no one you meet will ever match your expectations.

Neither strategy is going to get you what you want. You’ll either waste time on a lot of short-term relationships that don’t go anywhere, or you’ll be so protective of your heart that no one will get through to you.

When you start dating, look for reasons to say “Yes!” to a date instead of looking for reasons to move on. Just because you’re meeting someone for a date doesn’t mean that you are committing to a lifetime. It’s just a date. Keep it light and casual.

Date a lot of different people and get curious about them. It can be fun to meet new people and get to know them, especially when there isn’t a lot of expectation about where things may go.

Take your time before going exclusive with someone you really like. This person is a stranger. Make sure you know who he is before committing to exclusivity.

Practice being authentic. Speak how you feel and make requests. If you want to be loved for who you really are, then you have to show up as who you really are.

Truly tired of being alone? Update your dating skills, start meeting new people, and go on dates.

4. Get Clear On What You Really Want

You may know the type of man you are attracted to, but do you know how to judge if he will be a good partner for you in the long run? Attraction is only one element of a healthy relationship. What other requirements do you need to feel satisfied with a life partner?

Get clear on what is important to you in your romantic relationship. Do you value communication or adventure? What about passion or trust? Create a list of what you value in your intimate relationships.

Think of it as a map to your beloved. If you don’t know the coordinates of your destination, then it will take a long time to accidentally find yourself there. Don’t leave your love life up to chance or luck.

Utilize the vision of your ideal relationship to inspire you along your journey. This is the key to moving past those inevitable challenges that will show up. Focus on the vision of love that you’re creating and let it motivate you in those moments when you are feeling down.

If you’re feeling tired of being alone, get clear on what you want instead, and create your plan for love with specific actions you can take.

5. Stick To Your Plan

Dating can be tedious at times. You may want to just commit to someone who seems like a good man just so you don’t have to keep going on dates and see if it works out. This is not a good strategy for lasting love.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to throw out your plan when you meet someone who seems good enough. Remember no matter your feelings, they are only temporary. It’s important to know if there is more than just chemistry between you two. You only discover that over time, not just because the sex is hot.

Don’t give a stranger the benefit of the doubt just because you feel attracted and excited. Instead, stick to your plan of taking things slowly and get to know him before committing your heart. Give him time to prove that his intentions for you are honorable and that he is really interested in a relationship with you and not just looking for companionship and physical intimacy.

Tired of being alone? Make a plan for love and stick to your plan, even when you meet the perfect guy. Remember, you’re worth the wait.

6. Release Your Expectations

This is where things get a little woo-woo. You’ve focused on what you want and you’ve created your plan for achieving it. Now you need to relax and let it happen.

Putting a lot of expectations on every date and trying to control how things go will only put you on an emotional rollercoaster. Release your expectations so that you can be present with your date. Let go of how things are supposed to work out and leave room for a little magic.

Love doesn’t just magically happen, but there can be a lot of magic on your journey to love. Just because you are using a particular dating app doesn’t mean that you’ll only meet your guy through that app. While you may really want someone with a particular hair color or who lives close to you, your heart doesn’t care about those things.

By setting your intention and taking action you are putting energy out into the world that means having love in your life is a priority. Resist the urge to micromanage the process. You have to release the reins in order to get what you want.

Sick and tired of being alone? Leave room for magic and serendipity and love will fill in the space.

7. Act As If Your Soulmate Is Already Here

What if you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that your soulmate existed and it was just a matter of time until that first meeting? Would you allow yourself to relax and have fun until the two of you meet?

Imagine the confidence you would have if the pressure was off of you. If you didn’t doubt that your beloved was waiting for you, you would be able to just be yourself and enjoy having new experiences until that day comes.

What you believe about yourself and your ability to find love affects your outcome. Doubt that anyone could love you and you’ll find evidence that he may leave you. If you believe that all men will cheat, then you’ll constantly feel jealous and insecure.

If you embrace the idea that your soulmate is already here and just waiting for you to find him, then you’ll finally have that confidence you’ve been looking for. Start acting As If this were true and see how it loosens you up and allows you to be fully authentic.

Instead of focusing on how you’re tired of being alone, embrace the belief that no matter what you will find your soulmate.

Let the discomfort with your current situation motivate you to commit to taking new actions. Create a vision of love that inspires you to continue on the journey to lasting love. Stick to your plan and love will be here faster than you can imagine.

Are you tired of being alone and want to know how to create the love you want? Join us for a complimentary Soulmate Strategy Session so we can guide you to craft your custom plan for long-lasting, soul-satisfying love.

Will I ever find love again?

I hope you can help me. I’ve been a long time reader and really think you give great advice. I have been feeling a lot of despair lately with the state of the world. Dating really scares me and I’m not sure where to get started. I married young and he passed unexpectedly in an accident several years ago. I have been alone since and haven’t dated anyone seriously.

As a single mom, I often wonder if any man would ever be interested in me, as I have to put my children first.

What are your thoughts? Do you think that people get a second chance at love?

Naomi”

Hi Naomi,

We’re sorry to hear that you lost your husband, and we appreciate you reaching out. If you’re wondering, “Will I ever find love again” we are here to rekindle your hope about love and your second chance at it (or third, or fourth, or however many chances you need).

However, in order to manifest what you want, you have to ask the right question. And “Will I ever find love again?” is the wrong question to be asking.

We want you to consider this instead: Do you WANT to have love again? Are you ready to share your life with someone?

“Will I ever find love again?” implies that love is elusive and mysterious. Quite the opposite is true. Love is abundant and available to you all the time.

Think about your children, do you wonder if the love you feel for them will disappear? Do you have only so much to share with them? Do you have to divide your love up between them?

The love you feel for your children only grows. When your second child was born you didn’t have to ration your love between them. You felt more love and had more love to give.

This is the nature of love. It is infinite and ever-present. Your work is to discover what is blocking you from creating all the love you desire.

If You Desire Love You Can Create It

Our first question for you is: Do you want to have love again?

Based on the fact that you reached out to us we would guess that the answer is yes. Since you have decided that you want to have love you are well on your way.

Wondering if you will ever find love again puts you in a passive position. As if you’re just waiting for love to show up.

The myth of accidental love leads many people to believe that love will just magically materialize one day. That as if by magic an ideal partner will find you and voila, you’re set for the rest of your life!

And if for some reason it doesn’t magically work out, then it just wasn’t meant to be. This ultimately leaves you feeling powerless about your relationships and your ability to create the love you want.

Creating love means you’ve prepared for it, setting intentions, and taking action out in the world to make it happen.

Most people go out on dates and meet people, and as soon as they feel chemistry with someone they jump into a committed relationship. When it inevitably falls apart, they fall into despair and wonder if they will ever find love that lasts. This is the very definition of love by accident.

Make a decision that you are going to create the love you want. Take action on that decision. And don’t let anything hold you back.

Owning your desire for love and intimacy is the first step.

Your Beliefs About Love Will Create Your Reality

What you believe is true is true for you. If you believe that love is in the cards for you, then you will create it. If you believe that all the good ones are taken, or all men cheat, then you’re likely to have many of these experiences.

Your beliefs about love will shape your results. Discover your limiting beliefs that keep you from the love you desire.

For example, most people despise online dating and only put up with it because they believe they have no other options. They focus on all of the problems with the people they meet, and all the things that their dates are doing wrong. And instead of finding love they waste their time sharing their dating horror stories.

And yet, millions of other people meet and get married through a dating app or an online dating site.

Are these people just luckier than the rest?

Maybe the ones who got married didn’t focus so much on what was wrong with online dating or with their dates. Instead, they approached dating with a curious mind and an open heart.

If you are wondering “Will I ever find love again?” are you afraid that something bad will happen if you do? Are you hoping that love will just appear like it did when you were younger?

There is no limitation on love, so you can have many different loves of your life.

Expecting that there is some higher power micromanaging your life is ultimately dodging responsibility. You are the one that will decide whether or not you will find love again.

Get Clear On The Kind Of Relationship You Want

If you’re wondering, “Will I ever find love again?” channel that energy into designing your ideal relationship.

You can’t just order up the perfect person off of a menu, so stop creating detailed lists of the qualities that you are looking for in your soulmate. Instead, take time to gain clarity on the dynamic between you and this other person you have not yet met. How do you feel when you are with him? How does he respond to you when you’re upset?

Your heart doesn’t care how tall a person is, or how much money he makes, or what kind of car he drives. Your heart wants him to get you, have your back, and that the two of you value the same things in life.

You are looking for someone that you can navigate life’s challenges with, someone who shares your dreams and goals. Relationship is like a dance. Make sure your partner knows how to move in harmony with you. Your ideal partner will have complementary strengths – he won’t be just like you because he will be an entirely different person.

Knowing how you fit together with this other person is the key to manifesting a person who matches the vision you create.

Challenge Yourself To Be Adventurous But Not Careless

“Will I ever find love again?” is a question we often hear from people who are stuck in a rut and don’t venture into unchartered territory. As human beings, we are inherently creatures of habit.

You’re not going to find love again by sitting at home or absent-mindedly going through your daily routine.

Purposefully change your routine. Do the things you are putting off doing until you meet your soulmate. Don’t put your life on hold in any way – go out and try new things, and most of all be curious about the people you meet.

Meeting new people is essential to creating an ideal partnership. Remember, every person you meet knows people that you do not know.

While you are taking these new actions, keep your mindset positive, open, and curious. We’re not suggesting you do something foolhardy or dangerous. But taking calculated risks can bring you great rewards.

Your Past Does Not Determine Your Future

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to believe that what happened in the past is an indicator of what will happen in the future. You have free will choice and you can create a completely different future if you choose to do things differently.

We are so open about our past struggles because we each personally made a lot of mistakes and did the work to learn and grow from them. We share our personal journey to one another to offer you hope that your past does not have to determine your future.

Everyone has experienced heartbreak. It is one of the most common experiences that all humans share. Your heartbreak may feel unique and special to you, but we guarantee you that someone else has a similar story.

Look for love stories of people you know that inspire you. Focus on love in all of its forms. Keep your mind focused on what you are creating not what happened in the past. This will fuel you to keep going even when challenges come your way.

No matter your past, it’s over and done with. The way to start anew is by imagining a vision of the future you desire and then taking action steps toward creating it.

There Is No Limit On Love

There is no higher power doling out love deciding who gets it and who doesn’t. You didn’t meet some kind of imaginary quota; you have not used up a portion of love that was set aside for you. (It seems a bit silly when you think about it in this way, right?)

Love is who you are. You came into the world as the human embodiment of the energy of love and therefore, love is your birthright. You can never use it all up, or run out because the love you seek is inside of you.

Ultimately, you don’t get love from another person – you share love with them.

Just like we wrote earlier about your children, you didn’t have to ration your love so that you didn’t waste all of it on the first child, leaving none for the rest. Instead, as each child was born, your capacity for love continued to grow.

Find the limitless well of love inside of you. Share that love and it will grow and grow throughout your life.

Loving Someone Is Always A Risk

Not only is the future unknown, which is something you must come to terms with, you also have zero control over another individual.

If you want to commit yourself to someone but that person rejects you, there is nothing more you can do. If you believe that everything is working out for your highest good then you will discover the person you longed for was not an ideal match for you and that something better lies ahead.

Risking your heart does provide immense reward because only in partnership will you evolve and grow to live your purpose and truly be of service to others.

The foundation of a partnership provides so much more than just intimacy and friendship. It is the solid foundation that allows you to live up to your full potential. Many studies have shown that the ability to create and maintain loving relationships is the key to success in life.

It’s clear your past dating strategies aren’t going to get you to your goal of long-lasting love. They may have worked in your 20’s but dating changes as you get older. Instead of leaving love up to accident, discover a new way to create love by getting our special report,  “7 Steps To Soulmating™.” You’ll receive our top dating strategies that have helped thousands to avoid wasting their time with the wrong man and finally create their soulmate relationship.

I’m feeling so frustrated with being single and super melancholy these days. I love my life, I love my independence, I have great friends and family… what I don’t have is my Beloved.

As I look around it seems everyone is partnered up. My friends and co-workers are all with their special someone. This time last year I vowed I would find that special guy this year and now I find myself coming to grips that is not very likely as I start another year in my life.

What to do when I’m feeling blue? I’d love to get back into the groove in my life.

I sure hope you pick my question to answer because I’m ready to do whatever you suggest.”

Hi Vivian,

Thank you for reaching out, and sharing that you feel frustrated with being single. Dating can be frustrating, especially when you are ready to be with your soulmate. However, you can’t let yourself get down on your search for love for too long.

It is important that you learn to manage your mental state so that instead of getting stuck feeling frustrated with being single, you are able to get yourself into a positive state of mind. Remember, being in a positive state of mind is attractive.

Don’t give in to feeling frustrated with being single!

How you feel and what you are thinking will have an effect on your dating results. If you feel frustrated with being single then you are more likely to choose actions that don’t serve you or give up too easily and wallow in your negative thoughts.

Anything worth having in life is worth making the effort. We think sharing life with a partner is the #1 most worthwhile thing to have in life. It’s worth the effort.

So instead of allowing yourself to wallow in your mood, take control of your mind and therefore your life.

5 Tips To Shift Your Thoughts And Your Mood:

1. Honor Your Feelings

It is clear to us that part of why you are feeling blue is that you set a goal last year and yet, here you are, still single. It is entirely appropriate that you feel frustrated with being single these days. Instead of trying to ignore that feeling, honor it.

Your Emotional Guidance System is separate from the thoughts in your head. Your emotions are body sensations and they are a signal so you know what is going on with you. ALL of your emotions are appropriate.

It is appropriate at times to feel frustrated with being single!

When you’re feeling blue it’s important to feel those feelings even if they bring up discomfort.

What you choose to do with the discomfort, and the actions you take (or don’t take) are entirely up to you. This is the place of power – you get to decide how to behave.

Most people attempt to discredit their emotions when they are feeling bad and want to rush to feel better. We suggest you don’t rush. Let the feelings be what they are because ultimately they are temporary.

When we feel good we’re never delusional enough to think those good feelings will last. Yet, when we feel badly our mind lies to us, and we imagine that we’ll be stuck with those icky feelings forever.

Think of your emotions like waves crashing to shore. Some are big, some are little, and they come in sets. Each wave will recede after coming ashore. This is true of your emotional waves as well; they will subside.

Simply allow yourself to feel ALL the feelings you have.

When you do this you are honoring yourself. Your emotions are a part of you and by feeling them you are taking a stand that you count, and you matter.

Many of our clients spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about how other people feel and disregard their own emotions. They end up feeling angry and resentful that no one seems to care about them. You must care about yourself first and foremost. Ultimately, you teach everyone you meet how to treat you. That begins with how you treat yourself.

Perhaps you decide to have a pity party for yourself. Just like any other kind of party – schedule it. Put time in your calendar to feel all the sad feelings that this time of year stirs up for you, and be sure you include an end time.

When the time comes for your pity party to be over, check-in and ask yourself if you need more time. Adjust if necessary. You may find that you don’t need that much time, and once you give yourself permission to feel your feelings you move through them quicker than you imagined.

2. Have A Meditation Practice

A regular, daily meditation practice is one of the most powerful tools for connecting to yourself and to source, allowing you to re-center yourself each day. Separating yourself from your daily thought patterns opens up a space of peace and quiet that comes from within. From this quiet space, your intuition will blossom and you will feel more grounded and connected to yourself.

Meditation allows you to be in the present moment and take control of your own mind. There are many different styles of meditation, and we recommend that you try out a few different practices before choosing one for the long-term.

Your monkey mind likes to linger on the past focusing on mistakes or regrets, or leap into the future and imagine outcomes that bring us anxiety and stress. You can get caught up in these thoughts and create mental and emotional stories that feel real – just like vivid dreams you have at night while sleeping.

Meditation allows you to disconnect from those stories, finding the empty space in between. It’s in this empty space that lies the peace and joy that you desire.

Plus, when you cultivate your relationship to yourself and to source it’s difficult to still feel frustrated with being single. You’ll be connected to the larger oneness of the universe and won’t feel alone.

The thoughts you think are a habit.

Many times our clients ask us, “Why did I think that?” as if there is some deep-seated reason that thoughts come into our mind. The truth is our thoughts are simply a habit – we’ve trained ourselves to think them. When you teach your mind to be quiet, you have access to deeper truths about yourself and your life.

Having a meditation practice allows you to discover many things about your own mind and allows you to find a way to simply unsubscribe from your habitual thinking. This gives you the opportunity to step into your personal power so you can choose your thoughts allowing you to create a life you love.

Try this simple practice. Set an alarm for 5-10 minutes. Sit with your back straight either cross-legged on the floor or in a straight-backed chair with your feet flat on the floor. Rest your hands palms up on your upper thighs near your waist and gently close your eyes.

Without trying to control your breath, observe your inhale and exhale. Repeat a simple “I am” mantra in your mind with each breath. Breathe in “I” and exhale “am.”

Your mind will begin to travel to the past or the future. Instead of engaging in a conversation with these thoughts, be in the moment and ask, “I wonder what I’ll think of next?”

Wait for your next thought. When it comes repeat the question to yourself, “I wonder what I’ll think of next?” You can shorten this phrase to just “Next” as you get more comfortable with this practice.

As you observe the process of thoughts arising and fading, waiting for the next thought, turn your attention back to your “I am” mantra. You’ll find that your thoughts will begin to quiet and a feeling of peace will come over you.

There are many benefits to a regular meditation practice. Top of the list is being connected to yourself. Creating connection with yourself is essential to being able to connect with a life partner and continue to share your life with that person.

3. Change Your Environment

Your environment greatly affects your mood and your feelings. When you are frustrated with being single, changing your environment can get you back into your power and ready to move forward.

Do you have a favorite place that lights you up? Does being in nature lift your mood?

Getting up and moving your body and surrounding yourself with an environment that is peaceful will break you out of the funk you find yourself in. Visit a church or a museum. Find a quiet place to sit and observe your surroundings.

If you live near a beach, a forest, or some mountains, take a break and go for a hike. Go for a walk in your neighborhood.

If you are stuck inside because of cold, inclement weather you can change your environment with music. Turn on your favorite song and take a dance break. Turn down the lights, light some candles and put on something peaceful and relaxing.

Or perhaps you want to shake things up and boogie – turn up the volume and get your body moving to a rhythm that feels good!

Scents can also be a powerful tool for changing the energy around you. You can purchase a diffuser and some essential oils, scented candles, or you can burn some incense or sage. Choose a scent that fits the mood that you desire to create.

A decadent bubble bath can wash the blues away while you soak in a warm tub with equal parts Epsom salts and baking soda. Or pick up some bath bombs and allow yourself to be immersed in the indulgence. You are worth taking time to invest in your emotional state! Once again, it’s a way of honoring and valuing yourself.

Feeling frustrated with being single is an acceptable way to feel, it’s what you do when these feelings come up. Choosing to change to your mood and your feelings allows you to make a selection about how you are approaching meeting new people, going out to an event, or even browsing through a dating app.

4. Bring Conscious Awareness To Your Daily Thoughts

One of the most powerful tools is to become aware of what you are saying to yourself about yourself. We all have an inner dialog about ourselves and our current circumstances. Becoming aware of this internal conversation will put you back into your power to choose more useful thoughts.

Your inner dialog is constant and is a habit that you’ve created over time. Your moods don’t arrive out of thin air. It is your inner dialog that triggers your negative emotions.

We call this the “Think, Feel, Do Cycle.” First, you think something, which triggers an emotion, which then affects the actions (or inactions) you take.

It’s common for people to not even be aware of the thought that came before the feeling. Becoming aware of the thoughts that trigger your emotions allows you to then slow things down so you can make a new choice.

You cannot change anything you’re not aware of.

This is your mental/emotional pattern, and by simply changing the negative thoughts to positive ones you take control of your life.

What thoughts are you thinking about yourself and the world when you are frustrated with being single?

Once you’re aware of your inner dialog, ask yourself, “Is this true?”

This may seem silly, however, you may be repeating thoughts to yourself that you’ve been saying for decades. These things may have once been true and may not be true any longer. It’s also common for you to have internalized the critical voice of a parent and these thoughts may have never been true about you.

Question your inner voice. Do not accept its judgment and perspective of you as true.

Taking control of your inner dialog by selecting the thoughts you say to yourself about yourself can change your entire world. What you believe is true is true for you. So choose your thoughts wisely and make changes accordingly so you can be in the driver’s seat of your own life.

5. Attach A Deeper Meaning To All Of Your Tasks

Your life may be full of tasks that you dislike, like having to do this or that for others that count on you, or simply to remain employed and receive a paycheck. We all have to do things we may not enjoy.

Rather than losing yourself in these mundane tasks, assign a deeper meaning to every action you take.

Nothing has meaning except for the meaning you give it.

You are assigning meaning to the events of your life and the actions you take whether you do it consciously or unconsciously. Here’s an easy and inexpensive way to change your life forever: Focus on being of service.

Imagine that everything you are doing, you are doing for a greater purpose (God, the Universe, Jesus, Mohamed, Krishna, Allah, whatever you believe in).

Doing the dishes as an act of service is a much different experience than the drudgery of keeping them clean. If your job is tedious, ask yourself how you can be of service to those around you in your office. Decide that you are going to be a force for good in the world around you with every action you take.

The world is full of magic and you can tap into this power by simply making the choice to do even mundane tasks with purpose. When you regularly take actions in this manner you’ll find that like attracts like.

Even doing your laundry can be an inspiring experience if you combine some of our suggestions above by playing some upbeat music, managing your inner dialog to only positive thoughts, and choosing to be of service to yourself by getting your clothes clean and neatly putting them away.

Instead of focusing on feeling frustrated with being single, ask yourself what purpose you can bring to the world?

As you take these new actions and regularly put them into practice, you’ll be surprised by synergistic events. Being at the right place at the right time. Meeting someone new who can assist or support you in doing something you thought would be nearly impossible. Even connecting with someone for a date.

You are the only person in charge of your happiness. Do not abdicate that power to anyone – even when you enter a relationship. Your future partner is not in charge of your happiness, only you are. Making your best efforts on only 1 of these 5 suggestions will powerfully transform your life by putting you in charge of your mood and managing your emotional life.

*Tip: Pick one of these and implement it until it becomes a habit. Then add in one more, until it becomes a habit, and so on. You need not do all of these at once to experience the benefits.

Annoyed and frustrated that long-lasting love hasn’t worked out for you? Let us show you how you can create the love you want! Take the first step by booking a session with us and we’ll show you how to go from feeling frustrated with being single to sharing your life with your soulmate.

We are here to be your guides to long-lasting, soul-satisfying love.

We call this situation being stuck in a double bind. Two parts inside of you want what appears to be opposing things and these two parts are at a standoff. It’s like you are arm-wrestling yourself and each part is equally strong, so you never get anywhere – you’re just stuck.

If you stay stuck too long then you’ll end up unmotivated and ambivalent about ever creating love. Your motivation is lost, or you stop and start with fits and starts never making any headway.

The good news is that you don’t have to stay stuck! You can find your way out of this double bind, find your motivation, desire for love again, and the ability to take action towards having the love you want. It doesn’t matter how young or old you are.

If you’re tired of being lonely but don’t want another bad relationship, here’s what you need to do. Follow these steps and you’ll be ready to create the long-lasting, soul-satisfying love you desire.

Discover Your Patterns

You have a pattern (or two) that determines your behavior in relationship including the kind of person you find attractive. Maybe you’re attracted to emotionally unavailable partners. Perhaps you alternate between someone you have strong chemistry with who is not a values match for you, and someone who is hot for you but you’re just not feeling it.

Don’t get hung up on the personality similarities or differences or even your exes’ physical appearance. Focus instead on the dynamic in the relationship.

Who pursued who?

Who initiated the breakup?

Were there similarities in the type of conflicts you experienced?

Was there a familiar catalyst that ended the relationships?

Were you triggered into the same negative emotional patterns?

Chart out your past relationships to find the common denominators that are present. These common denominators will reveal your overall patterns that are blocking you.

Once you’ve discovered your patterns, trace them back to your family of origin. Where are the commonalities between your dating/relationship life and your life as a child in your family of origin?

We call this pattern, Your Love Imprint^®, and this childhood wound is the main reason why you continue to struggle to create the love you want.

But it’s not a life sentence. You are not destined to struggle in love, feeling hopeless, and tired of being lonely. Commit to the next step and you’ll discover that your motivation and desire can be rekindled.

Release The Emotions Of The Past

If you are tired of being lonely, then you are probably still connected to the heartache from your past relationships. You could imagine that the negative emotions you still have about those events are strings and ropes of energy holding you back from feeling joy and feeling motivated to change your life. Even holding you back from feeling the happiness you crave.

You have to cut those strings and ropes of energy from those wounding events in order to break your emotional patterns and move on.

The pattern of negative emotions is literally attracting similar situations into your life over and over again. Until you break this pattern, you could find yourself stuck and unmotivated to do anything about it.

Identify your emotional pattern by drilling down to using six core negative emotions: fear, anger, sadness, hurt, shame, and guilt. These emotions are only labeled as negative because they are not enjoyable to experience.

Take anxiety for example, you can drill down to fear as the core emotion. Anger is the core of feeling frustrated. See if you can write out your emotional pattern by using these six emotions as labels.

Ask yourself what happens when you are triggered and upset? This is the pattern that we are asking you to determine. (You may have more than one common pattern some people have two or three.)

Once you have identified your emotional patterns, you are ready to begin the process of releasing them.

Here are a few powerful steps for releasing negative emotions and healing past wounds.

1. Practice Forgiveness

Our favorite forgiveness practice is a Hawaiian spiritual practice called Ho’oponopono.

Pono in Hawaiian means integrity and Ho’oponopono means coming into integrity with yourself. Doing this practice will allow you to forgive and release hurts and heartbreaks. Ultimately forgiveness is for you. Stepping into forgiveness frees you up to move on and create something new from a clean slate.

To practice Ho’oponopono, follow these steps:

1. Place your palms on the center of your chest – your heart center.
2. Close your eyes and picture the person you wish to focus on. This may be a past partner or it may be a younger version of you.
3. Say these 4 phrases aloud:
   • I’m sorry.
   • Please forgive me.
   • Thank you.
   • I love you.
4. Repeat for 5-10 minutes.
5. Practice daily at a minimum.

2. Discover The Golden Nugget Of Learning™

Another step in the healing journey is to find gratitude for the relationships that didn’t work out. Your ex showed up in your life to teach you something.

When you can be grateful for the experience you can grow and learn from it and become the version of you that is ready to call in a beloved relationship.

For step-by-step instructions on how to discover the Golden Nugget Of Learning™ click here.

3. Release The Situation For The Highest Good Of All

Now that you’ve taken time to forgive, discover the Golden Nugget, and feel gratitude for the experience, you’ll want to let it go.

Resist the urge to share your new understanding with your ex (or exes). Your learning is for you, not for anyone else. Ultimately it’s your perspective that you are changing as your memories are malleable. You are unable to create this change for another person.

Grip something tightly like a pen or pencil in your hand, and as you squeeze it, imagine this is you holding onto the event you want to release. Gently open your hand with your palm facing up, allowing the pen or pencil to simply rest on your palm. This is you finding the deeper learning from the event. Then turn your palm over as you imagine letting go of the event, letting the pen or pencil fall to the floor.

Instead of holding onto the incidents that have caused you pain, examine them, learn from them, and let them go.

“Holding on to anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” ~Buddha

Through these steps, you’ll find that your energy has shifted and you’ll be overcome with a feeling of peace and calm. This is the key to being able to create a soulmate relationship.

Get Clear On What You Really Want

Many coaches and dating programs tell you to make a list of the qualities of the person you are looking for like you could order a soulmate from Amazon or off an á la carte menu at a restaurant.

Most people are clear on what they don’t want; unfortunately, you can’t create from lack. What you truly desire is not the opposite of what you don’t want.

Manifesting love does not work that way.

Instead of focusing on feeling tired of being lonely, focus on the kind of relationship you want; discover the dynamic you desire between you and your beloved. How do you want your soulmate relationship to function? What will you contribute to the relationship? What do you want your soulmate to provide for you?

Becoming crystal clear on what you‘re looking for in a relationship frees you up from being attached to unimportant superficial things and also slows down the process of getting into a commitment before you have enough information to evaluate a potential partner.

Healthy relationships are an exchange between two equal partners. You might row the boat together, you might take turns rowing now and again, and sometimes you’ll just chill out together in the boat of life.

Approach Dating A Whole New Way

In order to date for your soulmate, you have to slow things down in order to speed up the process. When you are tired of being lonely you can rush into exclusivity with the first person you feel an affinity towards. Instead, take your time getting to know someone before you go exclusive and learn how to cultivate discernment through the dating process.

If you’re just looking for physical chemistry you may find that you’re dating the same person over and over again with a different face. Chemistry is only ONE important ingredient in a relationship, like yeast in a loaf of bread.

Don’t go looking for your soulmate in an online profile and rejecting anyone who doesn’t match your criteria, be open to going on a date with the men who are interested in meeting you.

Attraction is not a requirement for a date, only for a relationship. Every single person you meet knows people you haven’t met yet. A friend of Orna’s from college is married to the brother of a guy Orna met online dating. So you never know through what avenues you’ll connect with your beloved.

How you feel in the presence of your date is more informative than anything you will read online or hear over a phone call or Skype chat. Energy doesn’t transfer through a digital screen or telephone.

Use dating as a tool to learn more about yourself and discover if there are new strategies you want to develop. Becoming familiar with your inner dialog when you are on a date will give you a lot of insights into your dating strategies and whether or not they are effective.

Notice your inner dialog when you are on a date with someone you are attracted to versus someone you don’t find attractive. Are you more comfortable speaking up when there is no attraction? Do you use throw caution to the wind and jump in when the chemistry is hot?

Pay attention to how you feel immediately after you part from your date. Do you criticize yourself, thinking about all the things you should have done or said differently?

Is it easy for you to find fault with your date and add up the evidence that there isn’t a match for you in world?

Do you excuse bad behavior and ignore red flags when you feel the intoxication of chemistry?

What do you discover when you connect the dots of your own behavior?

Discovering strategies that have not served you will give you the confidence to make changes in your behavior and belief system over time so you can make a new choice. These changes will lead to you being more authentic through the dating process so you can find an ideal match.

Focus On What Inspires You

When you go on a first meet or first date share your dreams and goals instead of focusing on your dating horror stories. Inspire your date to join you in in being positive and sharing what brings each of you joy and fulfillment.

Don’t put off doing things that you enjoy. Travel, take classes, start that hobby you’ve been thinking about, be social, attend events, do whatever you can to cultivate more joy into your life.

Water seeks its own level; so happy people attract happy people to them! If you’re tired of being lonely, you’ll attract more situations to feel lonely.

Make a promise to treat yourself like you want your beloved to treat you. Vow to love, honor, and cherish yourself.

You can even make a ritual out of it and buy yourself a ring, write vows to yourself, and go somewhere beautiful in nature and marry yourself. This may sound a bit hokey, however when you anchor the experience of making this commitment to yourself your subconscious mind will look for more ways to bring you the same level of commitment over and over again.

Start behaving as if your soulmate is already here. How would you feel, what would you do if you knew without a shadow of a doubt that your soulmate was right around the corner? Act as if it is inevitable that the two of you meet.

When your focus is tied up in feeling tired of being lonely, you attract more feelings of loneliness.

Choose Love

When you connect with your beloved, no matter how it happens, it will feel magical. The chemical high of the romance phase of relationship will feel blissful. This first phase is temporary and a promise of what can be if both people continue to choose each other.

Lasting love is a choice.

Choosing love does not mean that you accept bad behavior. Loving yourself will mean that you’ll be able to speak up for yourself and ask for what you want.

Your soulmate will not be a perfect person but will be perfect for you.

Choosing love may mean setting your ego aside and choosing the relationship.

Taking your time through the dating process before going exclusive allows for challenges to pop up. Don’t iron out the conflicts and instead choose love to find a way to turn a conflict into a deeper connection.

Love is a choice and it is a choice that you make every single day with the person you are committed to weathering the storms with.

There’s a Swedish proverb that sums up why we couple up to begin with:

Shared joy is double joy. Shared sorrow is half sorrow.

If you’re tired of being lonely and the dating cycle you’re stuck in let us break you out of your patterns by scheduling a complimentary Soulmate Strategy Call with us. This private time will allow us to personalize a plan just for you.

Sitting around and waiting for things to be different is not a strategy. Waiting for someone to discover how amazing you are won’t just magically happen. Contrary to popular colloquialisms love won’t just happen when you least expect it.

Here Are 5 Things To Remember When You Get Tired Of Being Single:

1. You Are Not Destined To Be Alone

We hear from women around the globe who hold this false belief. They’ve suffered heartache after heartbreak and at some point feel like giving up. Their inner voice keeps saying, “Maybe I’m just meant to be alone in this lifetime.”

While we understand this train of thought, we want you to know that there is no higher power punishing you by forcing you to be alone. You are not broken and unable to love or be loved.

When you get tired of being single it can feel like you are the exception and that everyone else has it easy.

The truth is relationships are not always easy, even between two people who love each other. Relationships last because two people choose to work through the hard times together.

You are not so special that you didn’t get the magic fairy dust of love this time around. You are not destined to be alone because you are different than everyone else. In actuality, this struggle is very common and has been overcome by millions of other people.

Let’s face it, sex is instinctual. Long-term monogamous relationships are not. Lasting love requires certain skills, all of which can be learned, and there is an entirely different learning curve on discovering how to select an ideal partner.

No matter your age or where you live, you can release your false beliefs that block you from the love you want.

2. Lasting Love Does Not Happen By Accident

The feeling of connecting deeply with another person along with the chemistry spark of attraction feels like magic – but it’s not.

Put away the romance novels and stop watching the “meet-cute” romantic comedies if you cannot keep your expectations in check. While these can be an enjoyable escape from the stress of everyday life, they are not realistic about lasting love.

For a dose of reality check out the hit show Catastrophe on Amazon. It’s so refreshing to see the dirty underside of a relationship between two people doing their best to make it work.

We don’t mean to burst your bubble, but lasting love won’t magically show up when you least expect it.

This doesn’t mean that there won’t be magic when you finally meet your soulmate. The romance phase of relationship is designed to bond the two of you together so that you can last through the inevitable power struggle stage that follows.

Long-lasting love can be accomplished if you have a plan and take regular actions toward your goal – just like everything else you’ve planned for, been educated about, and have achieved thus far in your life.

Every generation over the last 100 years has had to struggle with discovering new ways of meeting their soulmate. Gone are the days when you would be introduced to your future spouse by a close friend or family member

In the past, people would go to dances, publish personal ads in the newspaper, use video dating services or matchmakers, and attend singles events to meet their future husband or wife.

Technology and modern society may have changed the way we meet, but it hasn’t changed the basic rules of dating. The tools are only there for the initial connection; you still have to go to that first date.

When you get tired of being single, sign up for online dating services, download the most recent apps, and start dating to discover more about yourself and what you desire in a partner.

3. Love Works Like Any Other Goal – Have A Plan And Take Action

You know that your car won’t fix itself when you least expect it. You’re not going to lose 20lbs because you stop looking for ways to get healthier.

And yet, our society clings to the ridiculous notion that in order to find love, you have to stop looking for it.

Love follows the same rules as any other goal you hope to accomplish. You wouldn’t plan on paying your bills with a job that just shows up magically one day because you need the money.

And yet, you allow the myths about love to guide your actions.

Take time to get clear on what you really want (and not just the opposite of what didn’t work in the past). This doesn’t mean that you should create a comprehensive list of every quality that you are looking for in a partner.

You want to have a clear vision of the dynamic between the two of you. How you want to be treated. How you want to feel with your partner.

Lasting love happens between two people who are a values match. That way when the inevitable conflicts arise the two of you are on the same page about what is most important.

When you get tired of being single it can feel like the relationship you desire is a long way off. But when you get a clear picture of what you want then you’ve tapped into your own ability to manifest and love can come quickly.

4. Your Past Relationships Gave You The Clues To Finding Your Soulmate

You are the common denominator in all of your relationships.

This one concept can send you well on your way to solving your relationship riddle. You can’t solve a problem that is outside of you.

You can’t solve the problem if men are the problem. Or if all men _____[fill in the blank]___.

If you are too narrow in your search and your focus is on avoiding a particular kind of man we would bet that is the kind of man you meet over and over and over again.

However, if you dig into the patterns of your past relationships, then you will find the clues to why love has been difficult for you so far. Your “why” goes back to your own limiting beliefs, mental/emotional patterns, and behavioral strategies for giving and receiving love.

This understanding puts you in the driver’s seat to making the necessary changes to get a new result. You cannot change something unless you are aware of it so looking inward is where your solution lies.

People come into your life for a reason. Maybe you need to learn how to keep and set boundaries. Or come to the realization that someone can’t love you more than you love yourself.

Perhaps it’s part of your journey to know your own intrinsic value and not sacrifice your own needs in an attempt to earn love, approval, or acceptance.

Maybe you chase unavailable partners because you’re hard on yourself so feeling love is elusive.

When you get tired of being single take the time to discover patterns in your past relationships and begin the process of healing those wounds.

You can avoid feeling bitter about your journey to love when you are grateful for the challenges you’ve faced because they contributed to you becoming the person you are today.

5. You Can Promise To Love, Honor, And Cherish…Yourself!

Ultimately, the love you are seeking is inside of you. You don’t get love from another person. You share love with that person, and the love you share comes from inside of you.

Make a commitment to treat yourself the way you wish to be treated by your beloved. If you want someone to accept you as you are, then start practicing compassion for yourself even when you mess things up.

Practice saying kind and loving things to yourself when you make a mistake. If you are a perfectionist, then memorize the phrase, “It sure sucks not being perfect.” Focus on a solution rather than being critical of yourself.

Promising to love yourself means that you won’t abandon yourself. This means speaking up when it’s required of you and not allowing someone to treat you badly or disrespect you.

Cherishing yourself means focusing on the good in your life. Practice gratitude daily. Do things by yourself that you want to do when you are with your beloved.

How would you behave if you knew your soulmate was already here? Move through your day knowing that he is right around the corner and notice what’s different when you hold this mindset.

When you get tired of being single, make an effort to live a full life. Don’t put things off. Time isn’t standing still for you, it just keeps moving forward. Create a full life of friends and activities you enjoy all while making the effort to meet new people.

Ready to go from just hoping and wishing for love to creating a plan for it? Join us for a Soulmate Strategy Session and together we’ll come up with a plan for you to create the lasting love you desire and deserve.