{"id":1223,"date":"2023-05-01T08:00:21","date_gmt":"2023-05-01T15:00:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.creatingloveonpurpose.com\/?p=1223"},"modified":"2023-08-21T13:00:17","modified_gmt":"2023-08-21T20:00:17","slug":"want-a-deep-soul-connection","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/want-a-deep-soul-connection\/","title":{"rendered":"Want a Deep Soul Connection?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cHi Orna and Matthew,<\/p>\n

My name is Michelle and I hope you can help me. I long for a deep soul connection with a man. I\u2019ve been divorced for 6 years. In a nutshell, my marriage ended because my husband was unfaithful. I raised my 2 children on my own, and they are now fabulous young adults.<\/p>\n

Once I started dating after my divorce<\/a> I met many great men, and a few who were truly ready to commit. Some even told me they want to get married. Ultimately, I ended these relationships because they just were not \u2018The One.\u2019<\/p>\n

My question is what could I do differently? I want a lasting loving relationship with someone who really gets me, and that I can count on. I find it easy to date and meet a lot of nice men. Something is missing for me\u2026 \u00a0I want a deep soul connection, that feeling of coming \u2018Home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Do you have any suggestions for me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n

Dear Michelle,<\/p>\n

It seems you\u2019ve done a great job of putting yourself out there meeting new people and going on dates. Finding a deep soul connection can be elusive with common dating strategies. Ultimately there is a specific strategy to date for a soul connection that will get you the results you want and it\u2019s a bit counterintuitive.<\/p>\n

When it comes to lasting love, it doesn\u2019t make sense to settle for a man you don\u2019t feel\u00a0a soul connection\u00a0with. You can\u2019t settle for a lifetime, eventually, there won\u2019t be enough gas in the tank of the relationship to make it through the challenging times.<\/p>\n

Partnering with a good, faithful, decent man is just the foundation of a healthy relationship, and not enough to base a life together on. There are plenty of good men in the world \u2013 that won\u2019t necessarily make any of them your beloved.<\/p>\n

You Can\u2019t Manifest From Lack<\/h2>\n

It\u2019s likely that your experience with your ex-husband created an internal block that\u2019s getting in the way of you creating a deep soul connection with someone new. Whether it\u2019s a decision to avoid getting hurt again, or the belief that you can\u2019t trust love, a part of you is afraid to fully risk your heart.<\/p>\n

While it\u2019s important to know what you do and don\u2019t want in love, if your focus is to avoid the pain of the past, you\u2019ll be unable to create the soul connection you desire. Currently, your subconscious is focused on avoiding cheaters, which has kept you safe. Unfortunately, not a cheater doesn\u2019t allow you to manifest what you truly desire.<\/p>\n

You cannot find a deep soul connection by searching for the opposite of your past experience. When your heart has been broken<\/a> it\u2019s a natural response to try to avoid that pain again. A divorce is one of the most stressful and painful events a person can go through, (and you had the added stress of children in the mix).<\/p>\n

In order to manifest a deep soul connection you\u2019ll need a crystal clear vision of\u00a0your desires in love.<\/p>\n

When someone says, \u201cI just can\u2019t see myself doing that\u201d (whatever it is) they\u2019re speaking a literal truth. They can\u2019t create an image in their mind\u2019s eye of doing that thing. To manifest something, you need to see yourself doing it. See yourself in your ideal relationship. Identify the dynamic between the two of you, and the primary emotions you feel.<\/p>\n

<\/div><\/a>\r\n\r\n\r\n\n

Discover Your Patterns In Love<\/h2>\n

Knowing your positive and negative patterns in love will show you what needs to change. Take an inventory of your relationship history. Notice similarities with the type of guy you fall for, who generally pursues who, which one of you initiates the breakup, and is there a common dynamic that doesn\u2019t feel good to you?<\/p>\n

Ultimately,\u00a0you are the common denominator<\/a>\u00a0in all of your relationships. So, if there is a reason that it\u2019s not working out \u2013 it\u2019s inside of you. Dating more men will not change this pattern. And talking about the pattern will not change it either, instead talking about it will reinforce it.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re struggling to find a soul connection, there\u2019s likely a hidden block that\u2019s keeping you from feeling it.<\/p>\n

Stop Dating Backwards<\/h2>\n

Most people date backwards looking for a feeling to inform them it\u2019s the right person. Unfortunately, your feelings are constantly changing, so using your feelings alone as a guide is not the best way to choose a life partner.<\/p>\n

Giving a stranger the benefit of the doubt is dating backwards. Letting your feelings of attraction and chemistry cloud your judgment, ignoring red flags, or excusing bad behavior will never bring you the soul connection you crave. Never give the benefit of the doubt to a stranger \u2014 no matter the chemistry between you two.<\/p>\n

Later, once someone has proven themselves as trustworthy and reliable you can give them the benefit of the doubt because they\u2019ve earned it.<\/p>\n

Allow dating to be a process and practice slow love. Take your time getting to know each other before going exclusive, and don\u2019t make any assumptions. Use dating as a tool to find your limiting beliefs and other hidden blocks to love.<\/p>\n

Through dating,<\/a>\u00a0notice your inner dialog and how you feel with each guy. Is it different with a man you\u2019re attracted to vs. a man you don\u2019t feel that spark with? Are you able to be authentic with each one? Pay attention on the walk to the car after the date; how do you feel and what\u2019s your inner dialog after you\u2019ve parted from him?<\/p>\n

At the end of each date, check in with how you\u2019re feeling and what you\u2019re saying to yourself. This is where you discover if there are any hidden beliefs or strategies that will continue to keep you from the soul connection you desire.<\/p>\n

Dating this way allows you to cultivate discernment so that you can easily deselect a guy who is not a match and proceed to find out more about the guys you\u2019re curious about.<\/p>\n

<\/div><\/a>\r\n\r\n\r\n\n

Don\u2019t Iron Out Conflict<\/h2>\n

This may sound counterintuitive, but because most people are conflict-avoidant. You\u2019ll never find a soul connection by avoiding conflict.<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re authentic\u00a0and speak how you feel, you\u2019re sending an invitation to the other person to meet you at that high level of authenticity. How a man responds to conflict gives you valuable information about whether the two of you will be able to navigate the inevitable challenges that will arise.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re not suggesting that you look for conflict either. Instead, don\u2019t go along to get along. You\u2019ll never find a life partner that way. Show up as your authentic self and with the right person you\u2019ll figure it out together.<\/p>\n

Address challenges and a difference of opinion in the moment and don\u2019t let them fester. You\u2019ll discover that conflict is a doorway to a deeper connection with a man who is a match for you.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t Settle For Less Than The Soul Connection You Desire<\/h2>\n

You\u2019d be doing yourself a disservice to\u00a0settle for a man\u00a0who doesn\u2019t fully float your boat. You deserve to be with someone<\/a> who gives you that feeling of being home. He deserves to be with someone who is as crazy about him as he is about you.<\/p>\n

Make sure you don\u2019t settle for \u201cthe should guy.\u201d<\/p>\n