If you\u2019ve been on the journey to your beloved for some time you may wonder \u2014 how important is chemistry between two people for lasting love? If you\u2019ve leveraged everything on chemistry to discover that didn\u2019t solve your issue, it\u2019s time for an entirely new approach to dating and selecting a mate.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not a binary choice between chemistry or someone who treats you well. Both are extremely important, however, in order to choose a beloved life partner a lot more goes into it than these two elements.<\/p>\n
For example, if you were to create a list of ten ingredients that are essential for lasting love, treating you well and chemistry between two people are just two of the ten ingredients. If you place importance on only one or two traits, you\u2019ll likely repeat your negative pattern in love again and again. Long-lasting love doesn\u2019t come from just how you feel about the person, and how hot you are for them<\/a>.<\/p>\n How important is chemistry between two people?<\/p>\n If you don\u2019t have yeast in the dough, you won\u2019t end up with bread. It won\u2019t ever rise and become a yummy loaf. It won\u2019t someday evolve into bread. All you\u2019ll have is a cracker and that\u2019s just not enough to satisfy you for a lifetime together.<\/p>\n Most people make the mistake of placing too much emphasis on chemistry and don\u2019t look for much more. They leave their choice up to attraction, and if it\u2019s present, they overlook everything else, even big giant red flags.<\/p>\n The most typical method to select a life partner is by paying attention to how you feel about the other person and disregarding everything else. Chemistry between two people is one important ingredient, however, it\u2019s not all that\u2019s required for a lasting, loving partnership.<\/p>\n It\u2019s common to believe that chemistry between two people is a sign that the relationship is meant to be. However, feelings on their own aren\u2019t a great measure of whether a relationship will last. How do you know if you\u2019re too reliant on chemistry and are ignoring the red flags in your budding relationship?<\/p>\n Do your friends complain that you disappear every time you\u2019re in a relationship? Merging quickly and allowing your needs and wants to take a backseat to your partner\u2019s<\/a> is a clear signal that you\u2019re placing too much emphasis on chemistry.<\/p>\n A healthy relationship is when one whole and complete person comes together with another whole and complete person. Together they create a new entity \u2014 the relationship. Instead of relying on the other person to complete or fix you, the two of you complement each other and there\u2019s also a balance of effort between you which keeps the relationship thriving.<\/p>\n Are you keeping your relationship a secret from your friends and family? Secret affairs can feel exciting and make you believe you\u2019re on a big romantic adventure, but secret relationships don\u2019t last.<\/p>\n If you aren\u2019t going to take your relationship out of the bedroom and into the world, then you\u2019ve put too much emphasis on the physical connection. It may be fun for a short while, but it\u2019s not satisfying in the long term because the key ingredients of a lasting partnership aren\u2019t present. There\u2019s a lot more to sharing your life with someone than hot sex.<\/p>\n If you\u2019ve struggled with short-term relationships that don\u2019t pan out, even though they\u2019ve been hot and heavy, you\u2019re relying too much on attraction. Don\u2019t rush to pause your dating profile and go exclusive. Getting to know a person requires time and there\u2019s no need to hurry. The right person will allow you to set the pace.<\/p>\n The chemistry between two people is like a tick box, it just needs to be present. Then you must invest time to discover if all the other qualities necessary for a relationship to thrive and last are present. You won\u2019t know if you\u2019ve met your ideal match<\/a> after several dates. Looking for a life partner requires you date like a grownup, and put off physical intimacy until you know more about their character.<\/p>\n Falling in love is a chemical high. Science has proven that when you fall in love your brain is flooded with feel-good chemicals that leave you walking on air. Those chemicals will naturally wear off over time. If you crave these feelings and get bored quickly when the chemicals wear off you could be addicted to falling in love.<\/p>\n You\u2019ll have to learn to work through your differences when the high fades and develop the skills to navigate through the inevitable power struggle. Lasting love is possible when you know how to recreate romance with someone you\u2019ve known for years.<\/p>\n If you have a pattern of choosing unhealthy or toxic partners<\/a>, you could be confusing the signals your subconscious mind is sending you. Fear and excitement feel the same in the body; your heart races, your palms may get sweaty, and adrenaline rushes through your body.<\/p>\n These feelings of excitement may actually be a warning that you\u2019re entering familiar territory, especially if you were raised in a toxic family environment. Your subconscious sends you the signal saying, \u201cThis is familiar! This is familiar,\u201d and you mistake this signal as a soul connection with someone you just met.<\/p>\n You\u2019re confusing a fear response with excitement and attraction, and the only way to break this pattern is by slowing down through the dating process so you can have time to recognize the pattern and go against the familiar dynamic you learned as a child.<\/p>\n All the feel-good chemicals flowing through your brain can easily cloud your vision. The hope that you\u2019ve finally met your soulmate can further confuse your sense of reason. Hope is the first thing that comes into your mind when you meet someone you’re attracted to. Maybe this is the one you\u2019ve been looking for!<\/p>\n That hope will also cause you to highlight their positive qualities and gloss over any red flags<\/a>. Keep the rose-colored glasses off until they\u2019ve earned the benefit of the doubt.<\/p>\n Be careful overcorrecting when chemistry has steered you wrong. You can\u2019t throw out chemistry altogether just because it\u2019s caused you problems in the past. You\u2019ll end up in a relationship with your best friend and roommate, one that lacks passion and cannot withstand decades together. The chemistry between two people is the glue that keeps lovers sticking together through a lifetime.<\/p>\n Chemistry and compatibility can work together as part of a recipe for lasting love, however, on their own they aren\u2019t enough.<\/p>\n Chemistry comes from a combination of your feelings of attraction and emotional connection with someone. Compatibility is when you have shared interests and ease of communication. Chemistry comes from your energetic differences<\/a>, like two magnets. Compatibility comes from your similarities.<\/p>\n These elements are essential in a healthy relationship and for love to grow over time. You can\u2019t forego compatibility and expect chemistry to be enough. Your relationship won\u2019t survive if you\u2019re unable to get along. Compatibility without chemistry between two people is a platonic friendship. You\u2019ll feel like a team, but your life will suffer because you lack the desire to work things out when life throws you curveballs.<\/p>\n It\u2019s not possible to settle for a lifetime with someone.\u00a0Chemistry and attraction are part of the equation of soul-satisfying, long-lasting love.<\/p>\n When you allow chemistry between two people to be your primary driver, you end up dating backward. You go exclusive with a stranger before you know who they are and if they\u2019re capable of meeting your needs. You get stuck in a pattern of short-term relationships that rarely last more than 3-4 months and you end up frustrated and burnt out with dating.<\/p>\n Dating is best when you commit to a rotation of seeing several people and cultivating discernment through the process. Slowing down the dating process<\/a>, and not rushing to exclusivity and physical intimacy\u00a0allows you to discover if you\u2019re a match for the long-term.<\/p>\n Most people rush into a commitment and after several months discover the other person isn\u2019t a match for them. This pattern creates dating burnout because these short-lived relationships drain you of hope to find an ideal match.<\/p>\n In the beginning, everyone is on their best behavior so it\u2019s important to wait to discover what they\u2019re capable of when your differences arise. Can you resolve conflicts between you? Has this person earned your trust? Can they offer you an apology and take responsibility for their own behavior and shortcomings?<\/p>\n Getting along at the beginning is easy, but can you find your way back to each other after miscommunication or conflict?<\/p>\n There is a skill set for lasting love because ultimately love is a choice. A healthy, thriving relationship includes chemistry between two people, but it\u2019s not the only important ingredient. Lasting love also requires compatible lifestyles, shared values, and healthy communication.<\/p>\n Compatible lifestyles ensure that you\u2019ll want to spend time together. Quality time will be difficult if you don\u2019t enjoy some of the same activities. It\u2019s important to have your own interests and friends, but having compatible lifestyles keeps you connected to each other and makes sharing a life together easy.<\/p>\n Shared values are the why behind your lifestyle choices. Values drive your decisions and influence the choices you make. If your values don\u2019t match, then you\u2019ll be in conflict with your partner. You may have different strategies but shared values give you the ability to get on the same page.<\/p>\n Healthy communication means you can respectfully talk to each other even when you disagree<\/a>. Kindness and respect give you the ability to talk about anything, even while knowing you don\u2019t have to talk about everything.<\/p>\n Chemistry between two people is the glue that holds it all together. Without it, you\u2019re just friends and roommates. With it, your relationship maintains its spice over the years and you have the energy to commit to sticking it out over the rough patches.<\/p>\n Romance is great, but not every day will be a romantic adventure. You\u2019ll have bills to pay, kids to raise, and jobs to manage. The mundane grind of day-to-day life can come between you, or it can be enlivened by the right partner.<\/p>\n When you choose well, life doesn\u2019t feel so lonely or burdensome. You\u2019re happier, more capable of handling stress, and likely to live longer.<\/p>\nSigns That You\u2019re Putting Too Much Emphasis On Chemistry<\/h2>\n
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You Lose Yourself When You Meet Someone New<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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You Keep Your Relationship A Secret<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Too Much Emphasis On Attraction<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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You\u2019re Addicted To The Feeling Of Falling In Love<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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You\u2019re Confusing Fear With Excitement<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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You\u2019re Wearing Rose Colored Glasses<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
Chemistry And Compatibility Are Not The Same Thing<\/h2>\n
Dating Is A Selection Process<\/h2>\n
The Ingredients For Lasting Love<\/h2>\n
Lasting Love Needs More Than Just Chemistry Between Two People<\/h2>\n