{"id":2524,"date":"2024-08-12T02:19:52","date_gmt":"2024-08-12T09:19:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.creatingloveonpurpose.com\/?p=2524"},"modified":"2024-08-12T13:14:45","modified_gmt":"2024-08-12T20:14:45","slug":"how-to-let-go-of-hurt-and-betrayal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/how-to-let-go-of-hurt-and-betrayal\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Let Go Of Hurt And Betrayal In Ways That Actually Motivate You To Walk Away From Your Ex"},"content":{"rendered":"

Your partner has broken your trust. You struggle to stop spinning about it. It hurts to take a deep breath with that giant pit in your stomach, and your heart feels broken beyond repair. You may be thinking about how to let go of hurt and betrayal so you can move on with your life. Is it possible to open your heart so you can love again?<\/p>\n

Letting go of hurt and betrayal isn\u2019t going to happen overnight. You\u2019re going to experience different stages of grief and loss along the way, but you don\u2019t have to let this experience close your heart to love. If you take a conscious approach to walking away from your ex and healing your heart, you can create a greater love and a stronger partnership than the one you lost.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s so easy to get stuck between two opposing feelings. On the one hand, you feel pain and anger from your ex\u2019s disloyalty. On the other hand, you want to put the whole situation behind you and start feeling better. Neither of these strategies is going to help you let go of hurt and betrayal.<\/p>\n

Lasting love with a partner you can trust requires you to move past the hurt and betrayal, to heal your heart, and\u00a0to create love more mindfully<\/a>\u00a0from the start.<\/p>\n

Choosing to stay and work things out with your partner can be an option if you believe that your partner is serious about repairing the relationship, making amends, and is willing to put in the time to regain your trust.<\/p>\n

However, if reconciliation and repair are not an option, you\u2019ll want to know how to let go of hurt and betrayal so you can learn to love and trust again.<\/p>\n

How To Let Go Of Hurt And Betrayal In Ways That Actually Motivate You To Walk Away From Your Ex<\/h2>\n
    \n
  1. \n

    Take It Day By Day<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Some days you\u2019ll feel like you\u2019re ready to move on, and other days you\u2019ll wonder if you\u2019ll ever feel like yourself again. That\u2019s normal and to be expected. Letting go of hurt and betrayal (like all healing) is not a straight-line trajectory, it\u2019ll take some time.<\/p>\n

    Your best approach is to just take it day by day. If you wake up and you feel strong, use that day to get things done. If you wake up feeling like you\u2019ve been hit by a truck, then take extra special care of yourself and don\u2019t pack your schedule as if you\u2019re a superhero. Utilize time off and sick days to schedule time for self-care activities. Be sure to include unscheduled time for puttering \u2014 where you have nothing on your calendar and just do whatever you feel like in the moment.<\/p>\n

    It may seem that your life will never get better or go back to normal. That\u2019s a lie you\u2019re telling yourself. No one was ever so delusional and overcome with joy or happiness and thought, \u201cI\u2019m going to feel like this forever!\u201d And yet, when you feel sadness, grief, or even guilt and shame, you convince yourself that you\u2019ll be stuck in the abyss forever. You won\u2019t. Life will go on.\u00a0You will feel better.<\/a>\u00a0Embrace each day that passes as your best friend because time is on your side.<\/p>\n

    <\/div><\/a>\r\n\r\n\r\n\n
      \n
    1. \n

      Your Emotions Are Temporary<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Allow yourself to feel your feelings, express them, and allow them to move through you. You may uncover deeper layers of hurt and anger, but those emotions will shift and change as well.<\/p>\n

      Don\u2019t focus on asking \u201cwhy\u201d this situation happened. Don\u2019t look for the reason. This will only keep you feeling like a victim and keep you from moving forward. There\u2019s no answer to \u201cwhy did this happen\u201d that will give you the peace you\u2019re looking for. Sometimes bad things happen. Focusing on \u201cwhy\u201d disempowers you, so reclaim your power by feeling and expressing your emotions because all your feelings are temporary.<\/p>\n

      Your brain is looking for an answer or an explanation to solve a problem, however, your feelings are not a problem to solve. The only way through a breakup is to feel your feelings so you can move through them.<\/p>\n

      No matter your feelings, know that they\u2019re appropriate. Just give yourself space and time to let the energy of your emotions move through you.<\/p>\n

      Embrace the mantra, \u201cJust keep going.\u201d Keep going until you feel better and at some point in the future you will. Borrow from Dory of Finding Nemo fame, \u201cJust keep swimming!\u201d Take it day by day and celebrate your wins along the way.<\/p>\n

      How to let go of hurt and betrayal? Be patient with yourself and take it one day at a time.\u00a0Feel all your emotions<\/a>\u00a0instead of trying to deny them or ignore them.<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. \n

        Up Your Self-Care To Calm Your Nervous System<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        This betrayal can trigger you into old emotional and behavioral patterns. You can get stuck in a fight\/flight\/freeze response and your logical rational mind can go offline.<\/p>\n

        If you’re triggered you\u2019re no longer acting rationally. Calm your nervous system so your problem-solving brain can come back online. Take a warm bath with baking soda, Epsom salts, and essential oils. Go to a restorative yoga class. Get regular massages and chiropractic care. Meditate. Walk in nature. Breathe.<\/p>\n

        Resist the urge to act out, attack, or run away from your problems<\/a>. Instead sit down, breathe, put your hands on your chest and say to yourself, \u201cI am loved and I am safe.\u201d Wrap your arms around yourself in a big bear hug. Get a weighted blanket for your bed (it\u2019s like sleeping while someone is holding you tight all night long).<\/p>\n

        You may feel the urge to numb yourself with TV, alcohol, work, or whatever your distraction of choice is. Instead of numbing yourself, find the courage and commit to calming your nervous system instead of numbing it. You\u2019ll feel better and speed up your healing journey.<\/p>\n

        Checking out can create a dangerous spiral of isolation. Use your support system to keep you connected to people who care about you.<\/p>\n

        The connection to yourself and others will help the healing process. You\u2019re not alone and your experience isn\u2019t unique. Everyone has their heart broken and has had setbacks in their love life. Use their experience to comfort and support you.<\/p>\n

        How to let go of hurt and betrayal? Calm your nervous system, stay engaged with your supportive inner circle, and resist the urge to check out.<\/p>\n

          \n
        1. \n

          Cut Out The Source Of Your Pain<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          Continuing to have contact with your ex will keep the wound open and slow down your healing. Set a clear boundary and exercise\u00a0your right to take care of yourself<\/a>. Block your ex on all social media platforms. Change their name in your phone to \u201cDo Not Answer\u201d (and follow the instructions to not pick up).<\/p>\n

          Limit all communication with your ex to the absolute necessities. If you must have contact regarding children, joint business, or settling finances you must set clear rules about how, when, and where, and most importantly \u2014 for how long. Release the need to respond immediately if your ex contacts you. Wait before you say or do something that will re-engage the two of you in a dialogue.<\/p>\n

          How to let go of hurt and betrayal? Set clear boundaries between you and your ex.<\/p>\n

            \n
          1. \n

            Feel Your Feelings While Managing Your Thoughts & Actions<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            Whether you are replaying past events repeatedly in your mind, or using social media to spy on your ex, keeps you stuck and reengaging with the pain of being betrayed. It will also exacerbate the pain.<\/p>\n

            Obsessing over the details and searching for answers prolongs your feelings of hurt and betrayal. It\u2019s normal to allow your imagination to run amuck and wish bad things upon the person who hurt you. You\u2019re not a bad person because you entertain these thoughts or feelings.<\/p>\n

            There\u2019s a big difference between entertaining fantasies of revenge and acting on them. Just because you wish bad things would happen to someone doesn\u2019t make you a bad person, it simply makes you human. However, continuing to nurture thoughts of revenge or focusing on your pain will exacerbate your suffering.<\/p>\n

            Take control of your thoughts<\/a>\u00a0by managing your inner dialog. When helpless thoughts arise, change your thoughts to positive ones and focus on who you\u2019re becoming. Create a vision of the future you, one that is no longer in pain, and choose thoughts that support this vision.<\/p>\n

            Affirm your belief that you can and will overcome this situation. Find an anthem that supports your journey and sing along as loudly as you can. Decide that living well is the best revenge.<\/p>\n

            How to let go of hurt and betrayal? Choose thoughts that nurture your growth and your belief in love. Find an anthem that supports the vision of the new and improved you and sing it loud and often.<\/p>\n

              \n
            1. \n

              Decide You\u2019ll Be Better For The Experience<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              This is probably the most important step in this process. You get to decide how or if this experience changes you.<\/p>\n

              You can\u2019t change the circumstances of what happened. The betrayal and hurt have already occurred. Wishing it didn\u2019t happen or focusing on regrets and wishing things were different only keeps you stuck in the hurt and trauma of the event.<\/p>\n

              To stand in your power<\/a>, decide on how you\u2019re going to transform through what happened. Make it a conscious choice to be changed for the better.<\/p>\n

              Decide you\u2019re going to be better, smarter, or ___[fill in the blank]___ because of this experience. Decide that you\u2019ll become a better version of yourself for having gone through it.<\/p>\n

              Let go of hurt and betrayal and move on by becoming the best version of yourself \u2014 like a sparkling diamond that has withstood the pressures that created it.<\/p>\n

              <\/div><\/a>\r\n\r\n\r\n\n
                \n
              1. \n

                Nothing Has Meaning Except The Meaning You Give It<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                This is an essential part of the process to reinvent yourself for the better. YOU and you alone get to decide the meaning you assign to the events you have experienced. Choose wisely the meaning you\u2019d like to give to this experience of hurt and betrayal.<\/p>\n

                You aren\u2019t limited by the events that happened to you,\u00a0what defines you is how you behave<\/a>\u00a0after they have occurred.<\/p>\n

                You\u2019ll falter along the way because healing is not a straight trajectory; it\u2019s more like peaks and valleys. It is not whether you stumble on your journey that determines your success. It is getting back up again after you stumble and fall.<\/p>\n

                Just keep telling yourself that there\u2019s something here for you to learn about yourself so that you can be better for this experience, and you\u2019ll find the gold that will transform your life for the better.<\/p>\n

                How to let go of hurt and betrayal? Keep getting back up and opening your heart to new possibilities.<\/p>\n

                  \n
                1. \n

                  Forgive<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                  When you\u2019re ready, and only after you\u2019ve invested time on the journey outlined above, decide to forgive.<\/p>\n

                  Forgive yourself for any mistakes you made, and forgive the person who betrayed you. This doesn\u2019t mean that you forget what they did or who they\u2019ve shown themselves to be. It also doesn\u2019t mean you ever have to speak with them again. However, without forgiveness, you\u2019ll struggle to move forward with your life.<\/p>\n

                  Ultimately forgiveness is for you. Practicing forgiveness frees you from your ex so you can move on. It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll forget what happened and allow a toxic person back into your life.<\/p>\n

                  How do let go of hurt and betrayal? Embrace forgiveness so you can move on and find a partner better suited for you<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/a>\r\n\r\n\r\n\n

                    \n
                  1. \n

                    Forgiveness Sets You Free<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                    Our favorite practice of forgiveness is the Hawaiian practice of Ho\u2019oponopono. This forgiveness practice is about coming back into wholeness and integrity with yourself.<\/p>\n

                    \u2018Pono\u2019 is the Hawaiian word for integrity, and Ho\u2019oponopono is coming back into integrity with yourself.<\/p>\n

                    Commit to this ritual to allow the magic of forgiveness in your life.<\/p>\n

                    Here are the steps to practice Ho\u2019oponopono:<\/p>\n

                      \n
                    1. Picture who you wish to forgive in your mind. This can be the person who hurt you. It can be you. It can even be you (or the other person) at an earlier age.<\/li>\n
                    2. Place your hands on your heart center (the center of your chest on your sternum) and repeat these four phrases:
                      \nI\u2019m Sorry
                      \nPlease Forgive Me
                      \nThank You
                      \nI Love You<\/li>\n
                    3. Practice this daily for 5-10 minutes until you feel the energy and emotion shift and you feel whole again.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                      The Buddha says:<\/p>\n

                      \u201cHolding on to anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.\u201d<\/p>\n

                      This is exactly why forgiveness is essential.<\/a>\u00a0The anger and resentment you may hold against another person will ultimately poison you, limit you, and hold you back from living at your full potential.<\/p>\n

                        \n
                      1. \n

                        Don\u2019t Let Hurt And Betrayal Stop You From Living Your Best Life<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                        No one is immune to being betrayed. Relationships are complex and people are multi-faceted. There is some evolution that you must go through to ensure this won\u2019t happen to you again.<\/p>\n

                        Caring about another person and loving another person does not come with any guarantees. You must risk when it comes to love.<\/p>\n

                        The rewards are always greater than the setbacks and pain if you find the silver lining and grow.<\/p>\n

                        The growth is your ticket to a new level of living and loving. Healing your heart allows you to connect more deeply with other people, likely new people who will love and accept you and support you more than you ever imagined was possible.<\/p>\n

                        Is your heart broken? Looking for a path out of the pain and back into hope? Register for a\u00a0complimentary Soulmate Strategy Session<\/a>. We\u2019ll give insight into your situation, and guide you towards healing your heart and learning to love again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                        Your partner has broken your trust. You struggle to stop […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4332,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2524","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-grief-and-loss"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2524","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2524"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2524\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4332"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2524"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2524"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2524"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}