Leaving your love life to chance relies on magical thinking like, \u201cLove happens when you least expect it,\u201d or \u201cWith the right person, it\u2019ll always be easy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Taking an intentional approach to love may appear as unromantic. As if there\u2019s something wrong with approaching dating the same way you\u2019d approach changing your career or becoming healthy and fit. Instead, you\u2019re convinced you should stop trying so hard, and that when you stop trying you\u2019ll somehow magically find the one.<\/p>\n
The fantasy that you\u2019re supposed to just bump into the love of your life at the supermarket or Starbucks may make you feel inadequate and doubt you\u2019ll ever find the one. It\u2019s time for a mindset shift to change your results and uplevel your dating game.<\/p>\n
Everything worth having in life requires a skillset along with practice and being intentional. Adopting a deliberate strategy allows you to leverage your opportunities and increase your chances of achieving long-lasting love.<\/p>\n
Living the rest of your life with the love of your life is one of the most worthwhile goals you could ever set.<\/p>\n The dating habits you\u2019ve cobbled together may have you stuck in a pattern of short-term relationships or being perpetually single. The most common mistakes lead to more frustration and heartbreak. These typical strategies include:<\/p>\n You can avoid these common dating pitfalls and date for your soulmate by upgrading your dating strategies.<\/p>\n Our Dating To Discover\u2122 formula embraces slow love allowing your focus to be on yourself first. This approach gives you a ton of useful information about yourself and speeds up the journey to finding the one.<\/p>\n Rather than wondering if the person you\u2019ve just met is your soulmate, you stop looking for an instant connection. Focusing on yourself, you can quickly discover your hidden blocks to love, end dating burnout, and short-term relationships that don\u2019t pan out.<\/p>\n Using dating as an opportunity to discover about yourself first allows you to reap the benefits of dating as a process and accelerate the time it takes to find your soulmate.<\/p>\n You\u2019ll stop wasting time with people who aren\u2019t a good match for you long-term. If you want to date for your soulmate, identify and break your negative patterns once and for all.<\/p>\n Exactly how many dates you need to go on is not a specific number, however, it\u2019s essential you gather enough data by\u00a0going on dates with multiple people<\/a>.<\/p>\n Stop combing through profiles looking for reasons to say \u201cNo\u201d to a date with someone. Look for reasons to say, \u201cYes\u201d to a date instead.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t create barriers to meeting new people. Every person you meet presents the opportunity to learn more about yourself.<\/p>\n Gather as much data from the dating lab as you can. The more information you\u2019re able to gather about your habitual thought patterns, emotional triggers, and limiting beliefs, the more ways you can adjust your approach to finding the one for you.<\/p>\n It doesn\u2019t matter how much self-growth work you\u2019ve already done, or how much therapy, or how many relationships you\u2019ve had. Whether you are thirty or seventy years old, your age doesn\u2019t matter. The discovery process is rich with information regarding your current blocks to love.<\/p>\n Resist the urge to evaluate if the person is a match for you or not until after 5 to 6 dates. Instead, put the focus on you and see what you can discover about yourself through the dating process.<\/p>\n Use dates to practice good communication skills by being authentic. Are you more relaxed when you don\u2019t find your date attractive? What\u2019s different about your behavior and your inner dialog when you find your date hot?<\/p>\n When you find a date attractive do you start looking for clues about what they like so you can adjust accordingly to win their affection and approval?<\/p>\n Do you go along or agree with what they say even if you disagree, just to keep the peace and hope they like you?<\/p>\n Twisting into a pretzel to earn love from someone is not a good strategy for lasting love. Eventually, you\u2019re going to get tired of your own needs and wants not being met and you\u2019ll grow angry and resentful.<\/p>\n Instead, start tracking your emotions and your behaviors on your dates. Notice the difference in yourself when you find a date attractive vs. when you didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n This will give you important insights into\u00a0your own emotional and behavioral patterns<\/a>\u00a0and your hidden blocks to love.<\/p>\n Chemistry and attraction are a requirement for a relationship, but not at all for a date. It\u2019s just a date! You\u2019re not committing to spending your life with this person.<\/p>\n To truly put yourself in the dating lab you\u2019ll need to collect data on your dating strategies and behaviors through many different experiences with a lot of different people.<\/p>\n Going on a date with someone you\u2019re not attracted to is how you\u2019ll make some of your best discoveries that will lead you to your soulmate.<\/p>\n We\u2019re not suggesting you get into a committed relationship with someone you don\u2019t find attractive \u2014 quite the opposite. Don\u2019t settle for less than you desire, but a date is only an hour or two out of your life.<\/p>\n Also, when you release the need to find attraction before going on a date you\u2019ll find more people to date. This\u00a0allows you to evaluate yourself<\/a>\u00a0and your dates from an entirely new perspective \u2014 one that leads you to select a match for long-term satisfaction and commitment over time.<\/p>\n When you\u2019re not attracted to your date, you don\u2019t have a lot at stake or high expectations it will lead anywhere. This gives you the opportunity to be authentic and to simply be unapologetically you.<\/p>\n When you date for your soulmate, the goal of dating is finding the person who wants to be in a relationship with you<\/strong>, not just some companionship that is convenient right now. This is how you find the one who gets you, who claims you, and who ultimately stands by you no matter what.<\/p>\n If you\u2019ve been using your dates to investigate your strategies and practice being authentic, then you can evaluate if the person is a good match for you after date 5 or 6.<\/p>\n This doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019re ready to get into an exclusive relationship just yet.<\/p>\n Be careful that you don\u2019t rush into a commitment too early and take yourself off the market. Anyone who wants to be exclusive with you\u00a0will patiently wait for you<\/a>\u00a0to be ready to commit. If they don\u2019t wait for you, then they\u2019re not a good match for you anyway.<\/p>\n Putting off exclusivity allows you to evaluate your dates for who they really are instead of through the rose-colored glasses of excitement. Never give a stranger the benefit of the doubt.<\/p>\n One of the biggest mistakes people make is they Date Backwards\u2122. They give the benefit of the doubt to a stranger and then once they\u2019re in a committed relationship, they take off their rose-colored glasses only to find fault and disappointment with their partner.<\/p>\n It\u2019s only after you\u2019ve pledged to share your life with someone that they\u2019ve actually earned the benefit of the doubt. Extending grace with your soulmate is a skill that\u2019s required for love to last and stand the test of time.<\/p>\n So, to date for your soulmate, date without<\/strong>\u00a0the rose-colored glasses, and set them aside for later on when the agreement to share the rest of your lives together has already been secured.<\/p>\n Additionally, putting off exclusivity means you\u2019ll no longer have a bunch of short-term relationships. This speeds up the process of finding the one through the dating process. You\u2019ll date multiple people for a longer period of time and only go off the market for the person who has made efforts to win your heart.<\/p>\n Utilizing the dating process to discover about yourself first, you\u2019ll uncover things you never considered before like the vision of your ideal relationship and how it functions.<\/p>\n How do you feel when you spend time with this person?<\/p>\n How do the two of you navigate miscommunication or disagreements?<\/p>\n How do they respond to you when you\u2019ve been triggered, or upset?<\/p>\n How do the two of you reconnect and repair after there\u2019s been a dispute?<\/p>\nAccidental Dating Leads To Frustration And Heartbreak<\/h2>\n
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Date For Your Soulmate: 6 Keys To Finding The One<\/h2>\n
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Go on A LOT of dates!<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Focus On Self-Discovery First<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Attraction Is NOT A Requirement For A Date<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Delay Exclusivity<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Lean Into Uncomfortable Conversations<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n