Wondering about best practices to meet someone for the first time when dating long distance? You\u2019ve been talking on the phone and video chatting for weeks, and part of you wants it to be special when you finally meet in person. Maybe you also have worries concerning your safety or put too much pressure on yourself not to mess it up.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s normal to feel pressure when meeting for the first time after you\u2019ve been communicating on the phone, via video<\/a>, and by text. You likely have a lot of hope and expectation that the first meeting goes well. It\u2019s easy to invest emotionally before you meet IRL. If you\u2019ve been down this road before you don\u2019t want to fool yourself or feel duped by falling for someone you\u2019ve never met.<\/p>\n You may think you\u2019ve created an emotional connection and spent time imagining what it\u2019s going to be like when you meet someone for the first time. The truth is that everything you\u2019re feeling is a fantasy you\u2019ve created in your mind. No matter how many video chats, phone calls, and text messages you\u2019ve exchanged, you don\u2019t whether you\u2019ll feel chemistry and attraction until you meet in person.<\/p>\n The elements that create attraction \u2014 how a person smells, how comfortable you feel with them, the energy of who they are \u2014 can only be experienced when you share the same physical space. When you\u2019re planning to meet someone for the first time, it\u2019s important to understand how your mind works.<\/p>\n It\u2019s natural for your mind to fill in the blanks and imagine a connection that doesn\u2019t exist yet, particularly when you\u2019re dating long distance. Your desire for connection and for love<\/a> to grow, and the hope that you’ve finally met your person can cloud your judgment.<\/p>\n When you plan to meet someone for the first time, take the pressure off by lowering your expectations and becoming curious about yourself as well as your date.<\/p>\n Before coaching with us one of our male clients booked a long trip to London after communicating via Skype with a woman, only to discover as soon as they met for the first time that he wasn\u2019t attracted to her at all (even though they\u2019d been having regular video dates for several months.) He finally understood the importance of keeping his expectations in check.<\/p>\n To avoid disappointment when meeting someone for the first time, shift your mindset and set yourself up for success. Here are some tips for women who date men to feel empowered<\/a>\u00a0and get the most out of meeting long distance for the first time.<\/p>\n The best way to know a man\u2019s intentions is to\u00a0allow him to pursue you<\/a>\u00a0when dating long distance. Plenty of guys will allow you to put in all the effort only for you to discover they didn\u2019t want a committed relationship, just something convenient. This may sound old-fashioned although it\u2019s more about laying the foundation for you to discover if he truly wants a relationship with you from the start.<\/p>\n A man who wants a committed relationship with you will pursue you to win your heart. He\u2019ll be willing to travel to you, take things at your pace, and go the extra mile to make you happy.<\/p>\n One of our clients lives in rural Pennsylvania and she was worried that she wouldn\u2019t find any men to date that are geographically nearby. After a month of coaching with us, she had men traveling 2-3 hours to meet her for a first date. You are worth traveling for \u2014 don\u2019t shortchange yourself.<\/p>\n When you meet someone for the first time you don\u2019t want to book a week-long vacation only to discover within 5 minutes that you\u2019re not compatible. Set up the first meeting for as short a time as possible. If it goes well then it\u2019ll leave both of you wanting more, which is a good thing.<\/p>\n One of our clients met a man online who traveled from out of town to meet her in the city she lived in. They planned a long weekend together. Despite their imagined connection via Zoom, it quickly became clear that they were not a good match. After struggling to find common ground for a few hours they agreed not to meet up again.<\/p>\n When dating long distance, don\u2019t set yourself up for disappointment<\/a>\u00a0by anticipating a first in-person meeting to be a big romantic gesture. Keep your expectations low. Create a more casual setting that allows you to get to know each other. You\u2019ll have plenty of opportunities to plan longer, more romantic trips in the future if everything goes well.<\/p>\n When you meet someone for the first time you don\u2019t want any assumptions about physical intimacy to create an awkward situation.<\/p>\n Sex changes the dynamic in a relationship and can bond you to the person emotionally. If you\u2019re meeting for the first time it\u2019s imperative to communicate what physical intimacy means to you. Does it mean that you\u2019re in an exclusive relationship? Or are you okay with being casual about sex?<\/p>\n Having the uncomfortable conversations before meeting in person for the first time will lessen assumptions and miscommunication.<\/p>\n Dating long distance can create a lot of pressure to move things forward quickly when you are together IRL. Don\u2019t be compelled to do something before you\u2019re ready.<\/p>\n Have some ground rules for whether and when you feel comfortable having sex for the first time. You don\u2019t want to have a romantic dinner with too much alcohol and end up regretting your actions the next day.<\/p>\n A man who wants a relationship with you<\/a>\u00a0will be willing to wait. You get to set the pace of the relationship during the dating process. Never abdicate your power by moving forward to physical intimacy before you\u2019re 100% comfortable with it.<\/p>\n Never have him stay at your place when you meet someone for the first time. There are simply too many scenarios where things could go wrong. It\u2019s important to have clear boundaries as they foster respect.<\/p>\n It\u2019s not your job to make things easy or convenient for him. He\u2019s a grown man, and he ought to be able to plan a trip for himself. You can certainly offer suggestions and steer him in the right direction but avoid taking control over his itinerary.<\/p>\n Another important reason he should never stay at your place is that you\u2019ll want to have time alone to notice your feelings after you spend time together. This will allow you to gain clarity and discover any insights about the situation that cannot be accomplished if he\u2019s in the next room.<\/p>\n Dating long distance requires you to have clear boundaries and ground rules before you meet in person for the first time.<\/p>\n You may know your hometown, but you don\u2019t want to be playing tour guide when you meet someone for the first time. Let him decide what he\u2019d like to experience and where he wants to take you. Offering him suggestions is okay, but ultimately it ought to be\u00a0his decision so he can budget accordingly.<\/p>\n It\u2019s also important to clearly communicate how you want to handle who is paying for what. He\u2019s the one asking you out for a date and traveling to see you, so it is his responsibility to pick up the check, but you\u2019re not dating like it\u2019s 1956. Splitting the check may simply be a budgetary concern and a valid one.<\/p>\n Expectations for sharing expenses are different when dating long distance, but don\u2019t let that cause you to go into sacrifice<\/a> trying to make it easier for him. Clearly communicate your expectations and desires before planning to meet for the first time.<\/p>\n You\u2019re not responsible for making every moment perfect or easing any discomfort. Show up authentically and relax into your feminine energy. Leave space for awkward pauses and uncomfortable moments.<\/p>\n A man who wants a long-term committed relationship will want to be your hero. If you continue to rescue him when the situation gets bumpy, you\u2019ll never know\u00a0if he will step up<\/a>\u00a0to fill those shoes. Plus, you\u2019ll get a clearer picture of who he is when you leave the space for him to do all the DOING and you just simply respond.<\/p>\n Even if you feel uncomfortable resist the urge to make things better. Imagine that he is the comedian on stage and you\u2019re in the audience. Taking this approach, you\u2019ll never again have to ask a man three months into dating, \u201cWhere is this going?\u201d He will have shown you by his actions what his intentions are, especially when you\u2019re dating long distance.<\/p>\n Talking on the phone or over video chat doesn\u2019t provide insight into who he really is. Being with him out in the world and seeing how he interacts with valets, waiters, or other service people will reveal more.<\/p>\n If his behavior towards you or anyone else is troubling to you, don\u2019t make excuses for bad behavior. If you have concerns then speak up and share how you feel. Take note of behaviors that could be part of a bigger pattern that may concern you.<\/p>\n When you meet someone for the first time the desire for it to be magical and romantic can cloud your judgment. It\u2019s okay to be nervous and to want things to go well. Take off your rose-colored glasses and see him for who he is, not who you want him to be.<\/p>\n Just because you\u2019ve invested time getting to know him virtually doesn\u2019t mean that there\u2019s a future for this relationship yet. Get present to what is happening right now, not what may happen in the future. Beware of dressing him up in groom’s clothing and instead focus on the present situation and continue to meet and\u00a0date other people<\/a>.<\/p>\n Getting to know another person when dating long distance takes time so don\u2019t rush the process. Practice staying present in each moment. Notice when you\u2019re filling in the blanks or checking off boxes. Let go of any agenda and you\u2019ll have a much better time. Relax, enjoy discovering who he is, and know you\u2019ll be okay no matter what happens.<\/p>\n What if everything goes perfectly and the two of you really hit it off? Does that mean that he should extend his stay so the two of you can take things even further?<\/p>\n Resist the urge to change the plan because things are going well. If he really wants a relationship with you then there\u2019ll be plenty of time to take your relationship further.<\/p>\n Leaving him wanting more at the end of his visit is exactly how you want him to depart. Express gratitude for the time you\u2019ve shared and let him know you\u2019re open to seeing him again.<\/p>\n When you meet someone for the first time the desire for it to feel special should not get in the way of taking things slowly<\/a>. It takes time to know who someone really is. By taking things slowly you allow the space for emotional intimacy to blossom.<\/p>\n A good man is not a unicorn, nor is this guy. Just because you have a great connection on video chat or the phone doesn\u2019t mean that he\u2019s the right man for you. Release the pressure of needing him to be \u201cThe One!\u201d Whatever happens when he visits, know that you\u2019re on your way to your beloved.<\/p>\n Put aside your expectations and allow yourself to show up authentically by speaking how you feel. By practicing these tips, you can get to know each other and discover if there is chemistry without putting too much pressure on the first visit.<\/p>\n If things go well, you can plan a longer, romantic trip the next time. And if they don\u2019t go well, at least you didn\u2019t waste a whole weekend trying to have a good time with a stranger you\u2019ll never see again.<\/p>\n When dating long distance, never put your lovability in the hands of a stranger. Stay in your power by being clear on your boundaries and enforcing them while remaining cautiously optimistic.<\/p>\n When you meet someone for the first time after getting to know them virtually, you\u2019ll want to feel confident about your ability to judge whether they are a match for you or not. If you keep giving your heart to someone who breaks it, or you\u2019re tired of struggling to find someone to date, we can help! Join us for a complimentary Breakthrough Call\u00a0<\/a>and we\u2019ll give you a custom plan for creating the love you want.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Wondering about best practices to meet someone for the first […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4345,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2685","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2685","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2685"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2685\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4345"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2685"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2685"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2685"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}When Dating Long Distance, Nothing Is Real Until You Meet In Person<\/h2>\n
The 10 Most Important Tips When You Meet Someone For The First Time<\/h2>\n
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Have Him Come To You<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Keep The First Trip As Short As Possible<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Have An Agreement About Physical Intimacy Before You Meet Someone For The First Time<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Have Him Book A Hotel, An Airbnb, Or Stay With A Friend<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Empower Him To Choose Your Agenda<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Don\u2019t Play The Role Of The Fixer<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Don\u2019t Make Excuses For Him Or His Behavior<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Practice Being Present And Not Futurizing<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Stick To Your Plan<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Practice Non-Attachment<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n