{"id":2841,"date":"2024-02-26T09:38:33","date_gmt":"2024-02-26T17:38:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.creatingloveonpurpose.com\/?p=2841"},"modified":"2024-02-27T11:54:49","modified_gmt":"2024-02-27T19:54:49","slug":"the-golden-nugget-of-learning-getting-over-heartbreak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/the-golden-nugget-of-learning-getting-over-heartbreak\/","title":{"rendered":"The Golden Nugget Of Learning\u2122: 5 Steps To Getting Over Heartbreak And Learning To Love Again"},"content":{"rendered":"

When your heart\u2019s broken it can feel like time is standing still. Every excruciating minute seems like an eternity.\u00a0Getting over heartbreak\u00a0can feel like the hardest thing you\u2019ll ever do.<\/p>\n

You may believe your heartbreak will never end<\/a> but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and with the right approach you\u2019ll discover how to love more deeply than ever before.<\/p>\n

When your heart breaks, it breaks open to receive more love. Instead of building a wall around your heart to avoid getting hurt again, keep your heart open and mine your experience for the hidden golden nugget inside.<\/p>\n

Time is your best friend when you\u2019re getting over heartbreak, however, by taking the following steps you\u2019ll become more resilient and resourceful in your relationships.<\/p>\n

Golden Nugget Of Learning\u2122: 5 Steps For Getting Over Heartbreak And Learning To Love Again.<\/h2>\n

Step One: Feel Your Feelings, All Of Them<\/h3>\n

As difficult as it may be, feeling all your feelings is the key to getting over heartbreak and healing your heart. There\u2019s no shortcut to skirt around your bad feelings, so resist the urge to ignore them, soldier through, numb out, or eat them up with a bowl of ice cream.<\/p>\n

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This is the sucky part that most people try to avoid. There\u2019s no avoiding the fact that heartbreak hurts, and some people even feel it physically in their bodies. Grant yourself the time to heal just as if you have a broken limb. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion through the healing process.<\/p>\n

Whether you feel sadness, hurt, shame, guilt, anger, or just an overwhelming sense of grief, feeling your feelings will allow them to flow through you. Feelings are not static \u2013 they are energetic and temporary.<\/p>\n

When you allow yourself to feel your feelings, you cause the emotion to crest and flow through you like an ocean wave with an ebb and flow. This allows space to be created for another emotion to enter your body.<\/p>\n

Allow yourself to feel ALL your feelings no matter what they are. Indulge in feeling your emotions as best you can. Talk about your feelings to all your friends, family, and co-workers who will listen. (For introverts this may seem frightening, so please continue reading for our complete process to give yourself\u00a0a chance to heal and move on quickly.<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Schedule time to just sit and feel your feelings. Put on sad songs, or a sad movie, and cry your eyes out. It might feel like it will never end, but the only way out of your current state is to go through it.<\/p>\n

Step Two: Don\u2019t Rush To Forgiveness<\/h3>\n

It may seem odd that this step is here as something to\u00a0not\u00a0<\/strong>do, however, so many people rush to forgiveness as if it\u2019s the express lane to feeling better.<\/p>\n

When you rush to forgiveness you ignore the feelings of hurt and anger that come with the end of a relationship. There\u2019s nothing wrong with your bad feelings. Feeling them does not make you a bad person, your emotional experience is part of your human experience.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t bypass your negative emotions by rushing to forgiveness. You don\u2019t receive brownie points by getting over heartbreak\u00a0faster than anyone else.<\/a><\/p>\n

Allow yourself to think and feel whatever comes up about your ex. Thinking evil thoughts does not make you an evil person, however, this doesn\u2019t mean that you should act on these thoughts. There\u2019s nothing wrong with entertaining your thoughts and then letting them go.<\/p>\n

Forgiveness can only come into play once you\u2019ve truly mourned, grieved, and given up the hope that your ex may come back. There\u2019s no time limit on grief, it may sneak up on you at any time or place. Your healing is not on a linear path so be okay with the fits and starts, the 2 steps forward 1 step back, and think of it as dancing with yourself to create a new relationship with the most important person \u2013 YOU!<\/p>\n

Step Three: Kill The Hope<\/h3>\n

Stop fantasizing about a miracle scenario where you wake up from this awful nightmare. Getting over heartbreak requires you to release the hope that your ex will change.<\/p>\n

Hope is the first thing that enters a relationship<\/a> and the last thing to leave. As painful as it may seem, killing the hope that things will be different is one of the most powerful steps you can take.<\/p>\n

As long as there is hope, you\u2019ll settle for crumbs in your life. You\u2019ll see any positive interaction with your ex as a signal that maybe, just maybe, the two of you will get back together.<\/p>\n

Holding onto hope blocks love from entering your heart from someone else. There\u2019s no space for new love when you still hope the old one will return.<\/p>\n

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Your ex isn\u2019t a unicorn. Believing that they\u2019re the only one you\u2019ll ever love or who will ever love you is a false belief. Love is limitless and has limitless expressions.\u00a0The lasting love you desire is available to you\u00a0but only if you truly let them go.<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re ready, kill the hope that your ex will ever be your soulmate. This step will open your heart to creating the lasting love you desire with someone new who is better suited for you.<\/p>\n

Step Four: Set Clear Boundaries<\/h3>\n

It\u2019s best to cut off any communication with your ex (unless you have children or business together). Stalking your ex on social media or trying to be friends with your ex will only keep the wound open and prevent it from healing.<\/p>\n

When you set clear boundaries, you’re\u00a0exercising the right to protect yourself and your heart. Make a clear request that your ex doesn\u2019t contact you in any way. Setting boundaries is self-care. Your heartache is a wound that requires healing. Every time you have contact with your ex it\u2019s like tearing off a scab on a wound slowing down the healing process.<\/p>\n

Set boundaries for your interactions<\/a> and remember this important acronym \u2014 NRN (No Response Necessary). Unwanted texts, phone calls, and emails do not need to be responded to. Don\u2019t respond immediately if your ex does contact you. Wait before you say or do something that will re-engage the two of you.<\/p>\n

Change their name in your phone to \u201cDo Not Answer\u201d because you\u2019ll always follow this direction from yourself. Don\u2019t just delete their contact record. Your subconscious mind will highlight everything familiar, and whether you think you know their phone number \u2014 you don\u2019t want to take that chance.<\/p>\n

Getting over heartbreak requires you to set yourself up for healing success and ensure you feel better ASAP. Setting and keeping clear boundaries with your ex gives you the framework.<\/p>\n

Step Five: Discover The Golden Nugget That Will Set You Free<\/h3>\n

Our dear friend and motivational speaker Les Brown says, \u201cPeople come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.\u201d<\/p>\n

We believe that everything is happening for you (not to you). Events occur to move you toward your highest and best self. This person who has broken your heart showed up for a reason.<\/p>\n

You had a relationship with this person in order to grow from the experience so you can become better to then\u00a0connect with your beloved.<\/a><\/p>\n

When you\u2019re ready to let your ex go for good write a letter of gratitude that you will never send. This letter clarifies the Golden Nugget, the reason this person showed up in your life, and what you’re grateful they showed up to teach you.<\/p>\n

This letter is for you not for your ex, so as tempting as it may be to send it \u2013 DON\u2019T! Getting this letter written may take a few passes, and that\u2019s okay. You can start by simply free-form journaling to prime the pump.<\/p>\n

The exercise of writing this letter is to bring into crystal clear focus The Golden Nugget Of Learning\u2122.<\/h2>\n

It had to be this specific person to teach you something about yourself or to highlight where you still have room for improvement.<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re done writing the letter, put it aside for a couple of days. Then come back to the letter and see if there are any edits you\u2019d like to make to it. When you feel it\u2019s complete implement this ritual:<\/p>\n