{"id":2962,"date":"2024-09-02T01:52:41","date_gmt":"2024-09-02T08:52:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.creatingloveonpurpose.com\/?p=2962"},"modified":"2025-02-19T11:03:25","modified_gmt":"2025-02-19T19:03:25","slug":"cant-stop-thinking-about-my-ex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/cant-stop-thinking-about-my-ex\/","title":{"rendered":"Help! I Can&#8217;t Stop Thinking About My Ex &#038; It&#8217;s Ruining My Life"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Can\u2019t stop thinking about your ex? Obsessing over what went wrong and unable to focus at work? Driving your friends nuts because you keep going over the details to find out what went wrong? If you\u2019re having trouble sleeping because you can\u2019t stop replaying your arguments over and over again you can learn how to stop thinking of your ex and move on with your life by implementing a few brain hacks and some self-care.<\/p>\n<p>Breakups are painful and the added frustration when you can\u2019t stop thinking about your ex will stress you out. All the time and energy spent worrying over what went wrong can impede your ability to focus on anything else.<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t despair, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/experts\/ornaandmatthew\/steps-heal-from-betrayal-make-future-relationships-stronger\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">there\u2019s a way out of this pain<\/a>. You don\u2019t have to feel heartbroken forever. A greater and more fulfilling relationship is waiting for you on the other side of this healing journey. If you want to know how to stop thinking of your ex continue reading&#8230;<\/p>\n<h2>What Do You Do When You Can\u2019t Stop Thinking About Your Ex? Follow These Steps To Stop Obsessing And Discover How To Love Again.<\/h2>\n<ol>\n<li>\n<h3>Cut Out The Source Of Your Pain<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>The urge to track your ex on social media or to drive by their place can become obsessive. This habit is exacerbated if they\u2019re reaching out to see how you\u2019re doing or rehash the situation. It feels impossible to not respond.<\/p>\n<p>This is keeping your wounded heart from healing; unable to focus on anything else. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/what-does-it-mean-when-you-dream-about-someone-you-used-to-love\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Your sleep<\/a>, your work, and your physical and mental health begin to suffer.<\/p>\n<p>When you can\u2019t stop thinking about your ex, start by cutting off all contact. If you share children, keep it about logistics and leave your emotions out of it. Block them on all social media. Their feed will be hidden so you don\u2019t inadvertently see what they\u2019re up to and it\u2019ll deter the urge to go looking for their posts.<\/p>\n<ol start=\"2\">\n<li>\n<h3>Set Boundaries So You Have Guardrails For Communication<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Set a boundary by telling your ex to cease all contact with you for a minimum of thirty days. If they don\u2019t honor your request, do not answer their call in the moment or immediately respond to a text. Let them leave a message so you can decide what to do. You can check your messages when convenient and take a few moments to make a plan and be mindful about how to handle it.<\/p>\n<p>Change their name in your phone to \u201cDo Not Answer.\u201d You\u2019ll always follow directions from yourself. It\u2019s more effective than deleting their contact. Add their name to the company spot or put their name in the notes section. This way you\u2019ll know who called whether or not they left a message.<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t drive by their place, read over past text exchanges, or relitigate your disagreements in your mind.\u00a0Your heart is like an open wound\u00a0and each time you look back it keeps that wound fresh not allowing your heart to heal.<\/p>\n<p>How to stop thinking of your ex? Take the most difficult step by cutting off all contact to end <a href=\"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/7-ways-to-heal-a-broken-heart-and-move-on\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the source of your pain<\/a>. Time will allow your heart to recover and each day with zero contact brings you closer to peace of mind.<\/p>\n<ol start=\"3\">\n<li>\n<h3>Get Clear On Why You\u2019re Obsessing<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>One of the biggest myths about romantic love is that\u00a0there\u2019s only one person for you.\u00a0Going through a breakup you may feel like you failed. You may even believe that lasting love isn\u2019t meant to be for you.<\/p>\n<p>The attachment that you have to your ex isn\u2019t actually about them. It\u2019s an attachment to a feeling that you believe only they\u2019re capable of giving you. Your fixation with them is an obsession to get that feeling back \u2014 this is an impossible task.<\/p>\n<p>You can\u2019t stop thinking about your ex because on some level you believe that you won\u2019t ever feel this way with another person. You see them as the source of love, but your feelings about your ex have nothing to do with them. You don\u2019t get love from another person. The truth is that the love you seek is already inside of you.<\/p>\n<p>Your ex is not a unicorn. They aren\u2019t the only person you can be happy with. They\u2019re not the only person that will choose you. If you\u2019re stuck in a pattern of wanting to win them back, this is the key to breaking a toxic pattern inside of you. If wanting what you can\u2019t have is familiar to you then there\u2019s more inner work for you to do.<\/p>\n<p>Your goal is to ensure that the longing no longer draws you in. We call this <a href=\"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/if-a-soulmate-is-your-goal-you-need-to-know-your-love-imprint-how-its-affecting-you\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">a love imprint match<\/a>. And healing this core wound will change how you select a partner moving forward.<\/p>\n<p>How to stop thinking of your ex? Shower yourself with love and compassion. Increase your self-care and set boundaries for your grieving. Set aside time to feel your feelings and work through your hurt and sadness.<\/p>\n<ol start=\"4\">\n<li>\n<h3>Stop Blaming Yourself<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Part of your obsession with your ex is a belief that you did something wrong to push them away. Maybe you weren\u2019t capable of\u00a0meeting their needs. Maybe you said or did something that created a wedge between you. Maybe they left you for someone else and you find yourself constantly wondering why they prefer this new person over you.<\/p>\n<p>You can\u2019t stop thinking about your ex because you\u2019re stuck <a href=\"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/why-forgiving-yourself-for-past-mistakes-is-key-to-manifesting-love\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">blaming yourself for what went wrong<\/a>. All these thoughts aren\u2019t useful and keep you stuck on trying to win them back, attempting to prove to them that you\u2019re the right person for them.<\/p>\n<p>Your soulmate will love you regardless of conflicts that arise, no matter what you say or do. Their commitment to the relationship means they\u2019ll work through problems with you. A long-lasting relationship is with someone who puts in the work to get past your differences and conflicts to create a stronger bond.<\/p>\n<p><em>You can\u2019t say or do the wrong thing with the right person<\/em><strong>. <\/strong>If they were your person, your beloved, your soulmate, (whatever you call it), they would stick it out with you. They would take responsibility for the dance you\u2019ve been doing together. They won\u2019t expect you to be perfect and they will have compassion for your mistakes.<\/p>\n<p>Just because you\u2019re not perfect doesn\u2019t mean that you don\u2019t get lasting love. In fact, it\u2019s your imperfections that the right person will fall in love with. They are the things that make you uniquely you.<\/p>\n<p>How to stop thinking of your ex? Forgive yourself for any mistakes you\u2019ve made and know that the right person is willing to work through your conflicts to form a deeper connection.<\/p>\n<ol start=\"5\">\n<li>\n<h3>Let Go Of The Hope They Will Come Back<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Hoping your ex will change their mind and\u00a0come back to you\u00a0will suck all your time away. This hope is the last piece keeping your heart longing for reconciliation.<\/p>\n<p><em>You must kill the hope they\u2019ll return in order to heal your broken heart.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>It may seem harsh, but killing the hope is what must be done when you can\u2019t stop thinking about your ex. Hope is the first thing that enters a relationship and it\u2019s the last thing to leave. If you\u2019ve made best efforts that\u2019s all you can ask of yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Holding onto hope keeps you stuck, and as long as you hold onto it your heart won\u2019t be free to love again.<\/p>\n<p>How do you stop thinking of your ex? Let go of any remaining hope of reconciliation and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/heartbreak\/steps-women-end-up-happier-after-breakup-never-skip\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">allow yourself to grieve the loss<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>To embrace healing, choose to feel all your feelings, the sadness, the hurt, the anger, and maybe even the guilt about what happened. It may seem like these feelings will never cease, but the truth is all your feelings are temporary.<\/p>\n<p>Have you ever felt happy and thought that it would last forever? Have you felt this way about joy or bliss? You understand that these positive feelings are temporary and just enjoy them while they\u2019re present.<\/p>\n<p>However, with your pain, you get stuck believing it\u2019ll never end. When you allow yourself to feel your feelings, you allow your feelings to flow through you and to be replaced by something else.<\/p>\n<p>Like ocean waves crashing to the shore, your emotions wash over you and then recede only to be replaced by another emotion.<\/p>\n<p>Schedule time to feel the loss. Let your grief flow through you. Eventually, optimistic and positive feelings will find their way into your days.<\/p>\n<ol start=\"6\">\n<li>\n<h3>Discover The Key To Creating Something Even Better<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Even though the relationship didn\u2019t work out, your ex showed up in your life for a reason. When you can\u2019t stop thinking about your ex\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/the-golden-nugget-of-learning-getting-over-heartbreak\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">look for The Golden Nugget\u00a0of learning<\/a>. This is the reason they showed up and what they came to teach you.<\/p>\n<p>You can imagine that life is like a game that\u2019s constantly challenging you to become a better version of yourself. People show up in your life to reveal where you can still grow. Painful experiences offer some of the best opportunities for growth if you allow yourself to evolve through them.<\/p>\n<p>Journal about what you learned about yourself and about romantic relationships from your ex. Some people teach you in the light by being a positive influence on you. Others teach you in the dark by challenging you to no longer accept the unacceptable.<\/p>\n<p>You know you\u2019ve found The Golden Nugget when you\u00a0feel grateful for the relationship\u00a0because of what it taught you about yourself and pointed you in a new direction course-correcting so you can grow toward your beloved.<\/p>\n<p>This attitude of gratitude allows you to release any attachments to your ex. Now that you\u2019ve gained the learning you don\u2019t need or want them in your life anymore!<\/p>\n<p>How do you stop thinking of your ex? Become a better version of yourself by finding the gratitude from your relationships that didn\u2019t work out. The new and improved version of you will take better care of yourself and have more confidence too.<\/p>\n<ol start=\"7\">\n<li>\n<h3>Get Clear On What You Really Want<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Most people date backwards and let their feelings guide them. They meet a stranger who triggers feelings of attraction and excitement, and they believe they\u2019ve met their soulmate. Don\u2019t put your lovability in the hands of a stranger!<\/p>\n<p>Instead, create your ideal relationship by crafting your unique vision of your soulmate relationship. Bring your vision into crystal clear focus.<\/p>\n<p>This isn\u2019t about the details of the person \u2013 discard the idea of who they are \u2013 instead embrace the vision of how they make you feel about yourself, and how you relate to one another. You can even include how you move through conflict together.<\/p>\n<p>Instead of getting attached to a stranger who triggers all the good feelings, craft the vision of the relationship first and then see\u00a0which dates are a match to your true desires.<\/p>\n<p>When you can\u2019t stop thinking about your ex, you\u2019re still stuck in the pain of a broken heart. The truth is that when your heart breaks, it breaks open to hold even more love.<\/p>\n<p>Healing a broken heart can be messy and it\u2019s perfectly okay to hop and skip around with good days and bad days. On the bad days don\u2019t deny your pain \u2014 your feelings are appropriate. Be patient and loving with yourself because healing isn\u2019t a straight trajectory.<\/p>\n<p>When you finally accept that your ex isn\u2019t the source of love and that you hold that within yourself, then you\u2019re ready to create the soul-satisfying, long-lasting love you desire.<\/p>\n<p>Would you like support on the journey of healing your broken heart? Join us for a\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/soulmate-strategy-session\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">complimentary Soulmate Strategy Session<\/a>. This private time will allow us to get to know you so we can share specifics on how to mend your heart and move on to your soulmate.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Can\u2019t stop thinking about your ex? Obsessing over what went [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5238,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[66],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2962","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-breakup"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2962","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2962"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2962\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5238"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2962"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2962"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2962"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}