Unfortunately if your expectation of real love comes from movies, poetry, or pop music, it\u2019s easy to understand why you\u2019d be confused. Real love isn\u2019t something that just happens to you. It is part of human nature and can be cultivated and created.<\/p>\n
The first step to understanding real love is to discover how your past experiences have led you to believe that love is a mystery and can\u2019t be understood.<\/p>\n
You Learned About Love At A Very Young Age<\/h2>\n
Many people grew up in a family dynamic where healthy love was not modeled, so they don\u2019t have a guidance system inside of them to show them how to create it.<\/p>\n
Your GPS for love was created at a very young age in your family of origin, and unless you\u2019ve done a lot of therapy and personal growth to change it, it\u2019s still guiding your choices and behaviors for giving and receiving love.<\/p>\n
This internal guidance, system, Your Love Imprint\u00ae<\/a>, is your subconscious program that highlights people who are familiar to the energetic dynamic of your family of origin. This system even determines who you find attractive because the subconscious mind highlights what is familiar to you.<\/p>\n In essence, your childhood wounds from your family of origin are driving your choices in love. The adult version of you isn\u2019t selecting a partner, but rather the little child part of you who\u2019s deciding the kind of person that you\u2019re drawn to.<\/p>\n To answer the question, \u201cWhat does real love feel like?\u201d start by examining your relationship history and look for recurring patterns.<\/p>\n Reflect on your past crushes<\/a>, attractions, and relationships. By examining the physical sensations in your body you can gain insight into your emotional patterns in love.<\/p>\n How did you know that you were falling for someone? What did it feel like in your body? Did it affect your ability to focus or concentrate on your daily tasks? Did you find yourself obsessively thinking about a crush?<\/p>\n Maybe you never felt safe enough to give your heart to someone. The thought of allowing yourself to fall in love was scary or overwhelming. Or maybe you got caught up feeling overwhelmed by the feelings. Perhaps you would obsess about a person who didn\u2019t return your affection and you got stuck on the one that got away.<\/p>\n Evaluating what love feels like to you will give you insight into Your Love Imprint and how it\u2019s motivating your choices to seek love or to avoid it at all costs. A love imprint match occurs when the person you\u2019re attracted to is an energetic match to your wounds from childhood.<\/p>\n A love imprint match is like a false positive. It plays out the familiar dynamic you experienced as a child. For example, if you didn\u2019t feel seen or heard, or that your needs didn\u2019t matter, that\u2019s what you\u2019ll experience in the relationship. (Insert your particular wounding from your family of origin.)<\/p>\n What does real love feel like? Rather than matching your childhood wounds, you\u2019ll feel satisfied in love.<\/p>\n Most people who struggle to find lasting love are clear on\u00a0what they do not want<\/a>. The trouble is that what you desire isn\u2019t the opposite of what you want to avoid. You can\u2019t create the opposite of what you don\u2019t want because you can\u2019t manifest from lack.<\/p>\n Getting clear on your heart\u2019s desire will clear the path for you to be able to create it. And to do this, you first want to do the work of healing and forgiving the past. Start with forgiving yourself for any mistakes you made in your past relationships. Then do the work to forgive the people who\u2019ve hurt you.<\/p>\n Finally, you\u2019ll want to forgive your parents for their limitations that left you feeling unloved. This is where the real work is. As a little child, you took full responsibility for your parents’ behavior (or whoever raised you).<\/p>\n Every child does this as you didn\u2019t have the capacity to say, \u201cGee mom, this is bad parenting, what I really need right now is for you to give me a hug and tell me everything is going to be all right.\u201d<\/p>\n Being a parent is the toughest job there is, so it\u2019s best to avoid getting stuck in blame for their deficiencies.\u00a0You made decisions about yourself and the world based on your parents’ behavior and those decisions don\u2019t have to be set in stone.<\/p>\n Your strategies for giving and receiving love are based upon those decisions that you made as a little child who didn\u2019t know how the world worked yet and before your sense of self was fully formed.<\/p>\n Forgiving your parents<\/a>\u00a0(or whoever raised you) allows you to begin the process of healing these wounds.<\/p>\n Once you clear out the negative emotions associated with love from the past, you can begin to ask yourself how you want your soulmate relationship to function. Without inserting a particular person, no face, no details of the person, focus on the kind of relationship that would make your heart sing.<\/p>\n What does real love feel like? Everyone has their unique idea of how their ideal relationship should function, but there are some common qualities when it comes to love.<\/p>\n When you think about your ideal relationship and how it functions, it\u2019s important to also think of how you would feel over time with an ideal partner. It will feel different than other experiences you\u2019ve had. You\u2019ll likely be more clear-headed and the feelings you have will not be so all-consuming or confusing.<\/p>\n You won\u2019t always feel \u201cin love,\u201d but you\u2019ll be able to rekindle those feelings over and over again. The infatuation that comes with first meeting, dating, and getting to know someone is the gas that goes into your relationship tank. Falling in love is an important stage for love to last.<\/p>\n Remember sex is instinctual, however, long-term monogamous relationships are not. Marriage is a social construct that many people feel is unnecessary. Whether a marriage is part of your goals or not, learning to create a lasting, loving partnership is one way to thrive in life.<\/p>\n Loving someone means that you enjoy spending time with them, but it\u2019s much more because love means that you can overlook temporary frustrations for the longer-term benefits of being with a life partner.<\/p>\n Real love is long-lasting and satisfying. Even though you have differences and disagreements, you\u2019re committed to making it work together so that your love lasts.<\/p>\n What does real love feel like? It feels like it will last a lifetime.<\/p>\n One of the contradictions of committing to one person is that it gives you so much freedom in your life. Since you no longer feel the worry and angst of the search for love, it frees you up to focus on other areas of your life.<\/p>\n Love and freedom are also part of any successful relationship. By promising to love and cherish your partner no matter what, you give them\u00a0the freedom to be themself.<\/a>\u00a0Love doesn\u2019t ask for the other person to change. It accepts someone for who they are, warts and all.<\/p>\n When you\u2019re in it to win it with an ideal partner you can give them the benefit of the doubt. You\u2019ll both have good days and bad days, and your soulmate will be a human being who will make mistakes.<\/p>\n What does real love feel like? It feels like the freedom to be yourself and to accept your partner as is.<\/p>\n Another contradiction built into real love is its inherent riskiness. Even though the two of you made a commitment to each other, it can still feel risky to keep your heart open with your partner.<\/p>\n Taking the risk to choose love daily means that your relationship will never get stale. You will never drift apart. Instead, you\u2019ll\u00a0lean into your differences<\/a>\u00a0and your conflicts allowing the love between you to grow more deeply.<\/p>\n There\u2019s a comfort that comes with choosing the same person to love over and over again despite the temporary circumstances that show up as tiny annoyances.<\/p>\n What does real love feel like? It feels like taking a risk every day to keep your heart open and loving.<\/p>\n Part of being human is to feel the full range of human emotions. You\u2019ll have moments with your beloved of being impatient or even unkind. It\u2019s part of being human to\u00a0accept that you are imperfect<\/a>.<\/p>\n Still, love is patient and kind despite your impatience and frustration. Choosing to love someone means that you take responsibility for your outbursts and clean them up rather than letting them fester.<\/p>\n Choosing to love another person means you will choose to be more patient and kind with your partner and also with yourself. You\u2019ve both earned the benefit of the doubt with each other and you\u2019re willing to give each other grace.<\/p>\n What does real love feel like? It feels like the patience and kindness to love each other anyway, even when life gets the best of you.<\/p>\n Real love means that you\u2019ve taken the time to get to know the person you\u2019ve committed to and that person has earned your trust. Trust is not something that you give to a stranger you\u2019ve just met.<\/p>\n Many people make the mistake of giving the benefit of the doubt to someone they\u2019ve just met because they feel all these good feelings. Just because someone makes you feel good\u00a0doesn\u2019t mean that they\u2019ve earned your trust<\/a>.<\/p>\n Trust is earned over time as your partner proves that their intentions and desires with you are trustworthy. Once proven, that trust is given freely.<\/p>\n What does real love feel like? It feels like being able to trust the person sitting across from you, and knowing you can trust in their good intentions.<\/p>\n Real love is grounding, and it\u2019s also expansive. It gives you deep roots to bring you the feeling that you\u2019re on solid ground. You can stand tall and confident with the support of your soulmate.<\/p>\n At the same time love gives you wings to feel like you could fly to the moon.<\/p>\n What does real love feel like? It\u2019s the feeling of being grounded and present here on planet earth combined with the feeling that you could fly among the stars.<\/p>\nWhat Does Love Feel Like To You?<\/h2>\n
Forgiveness Is The Path To Real Love<\/h2>\n
What Does Real Love Feel Like?<\/h2>\n
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Real Love Has Staying Power<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Love Feels Like Freedom<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Love Is Risky<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Love Is Patient And Kind<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Love Is Trusting<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Ultimately, Love Gives You Roots And Wings<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n