Do you want to upgrade your relationship skills? Trying to avoid frustration and heartbreak through the dating process? It could be time for you to upgrade your relationship goals and develop new skills for lasting love.<\/p>\n
Great relationships don\u2019t just magically happen when you meet the right person. There are basic skills that will improve your romantic relationship and increase your overall happiness.<\/p>\n
Whether your relationship status is divorced, single, widowed, or it\u2019s complicated, you may be struggling to get the love you want. You might perceive the problem as outside of you, like where you live, dating apps, or your age.<\/p>\n
Or you could look into the mirror and discover how your strategies and beliefs contribute to your struggles and make a commitment to getting better at communication, conflict resolution, and ultimately love.<\/p>\n
The myth of accidental love is that when you meet the right person it just effortlessly works out. Love may feel magical at the beginning but magic is not a plan for lasting love.<\/p>\n
Sex is instinctual, but long-term monogamy isn\u2019t. Procreation is built into species survival. However, monogamy is a social construct that provides many benefits with the right partner. Sharing your life with the love of your life is a worthy relationship goal, one that benefits every area of your life!<\/p>\n
The secret to success in every part of your life<\/a> is a fulfilling long-term intimate relationship. This relationship goal is attainable by upgrading your skills and learning to create and maintain an emotional bond.<\/p>\n Ultimately, approaching love and relationships with a plan better guarantees success. Without relationship goals, you\u2019re left with leaving your love life to chance \u2014 like winning a lottery ticket. No matter your age or circumstances you have the power to get in the driver\u2019s seat of your love life.<\/p>\n If one of your relationship goals is to be loved for who you really are, you have to show up as who you really are. This means speaking how you feel regardless of the expectations (or perceived expectations) of others.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re twisting into a pretzel trying to earn love from someone, or you\u2019re afraid to speak up and ask for what you want you\u2019ll struggle to find an ideal mate<\/a>. You can\u2019t abandon yourself and go into sacrifice by constantly putting your partner\u2019s needs first. You\u2019ll become angry and resentful over time.<\/p>\n Show up authentically, speak how you feel, and make requests \u2014 this is how you can evaluate another person\u2019s capacity to meet your needs and wants.<\/p>\n You teach people how to treat you, so be authentic from the beginning and you\u2019ll never wonder if you can rely on someone through challenging times.<\/p>\n If one of your relationship goals is to quickly find an ideal match, then take things slowly<\/a> to speed up finding your soulmate. This may sound counterintuitive, but taking things slowly through the dating process allows you to cultivate discernment and select an ideal match over time.<\/p>\n Most people date backwards and give the benefit of the doubt to a stranger. You let your feelings of attraction and chemistry cloud your judgment and ignore red flags or excuse away bad behavior.<\/p>\n It takes time for someone to prove that they\u2019re worthy of winning your heart. Don\u2019t rush to exclusivity. Proceed with caution and date more than one person at a time. The right match for you will be patient with you and will stand out from the rest.<\/p>\n If you have a pattern of abandoning yourself when you\u2019re in a relationship then creating and enforcing healthy boundaries is on your list of relationship goals.<\/p>\n Do you neglect your friendships when you start a new relationship? Stop doing the things you love because your new person doesn\u2019t share your interests?<\/p>\n When you struggle with boundaries, it\u2019s easy to lose your sense of self. You merge with your new partner and feel insecure when they\u2019re not around. All your wants and needs take a back seat to your partner\u2019s desires. UGH! You need a Love Intervention!<\/p>\n The truth is you don\u2019t get love from another person \u2014 you share love with them. Know how to refuel and identify your own needs and wants so you can express them.\u00a0Take time to fill your own cup<\/a>\u00a0and then you can be of service from your overflow.<\/p>\n Taking too much responsibility or abdicating your responsibility in relationship will eventually drive a wedge between the two of you<\/a>. Knowing what\u2019s your responsibility and what isn\u2019t helps create a healthy relationship dynamic.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re in blame, then your partner is always wrong and on the defensive. If you\u2019re taking too much responsibility, then you\u2019re sacrificing your own needs and wants fostering anger and resentment.<\/p>\n When you blame each other, you\u2019re stuck in a power struggle. Let go of the rope. Your ego desire to be right is pushing you apart. It only takes one person to change the dynamic in a relationship.<\/p>\n Take responsibility for your half and you\u2019ll create the space for your partner to do the same.<\/p>\n If one of your relationship goals is acceptance, then let go of judgment. Of all the blocks to love, judgment is the biggest one because love cannot coexist alongside judgment.<\/p>\n Your partner will have different strategies for dealing with life and its challenges. Their family circumstances are different from yours. They\u2019ll have had different strategies for dealing with the same situation.<\/p>\n Judging your differences leaves you both feeling alienated. Instead,\u00a0get curious about your partner <\/a>and seek understanding. Allow your partner to be different from you and learn to defer to one another\u2019s strengths. This leads to creating harmony in your home and allows you both to shine.<\/p>\n Is one of your relationship goals to be loving and to feel loved<\/a>? Start by treating your partner with kindness and compassion.<\/p>\n Speaking harshly, criticizing your partner\u2019s flaws, or judging their behavior are all ways that you create distance between you. Instead, create connection by imagining your partner as a little child who is\u00a0struggling to get love from their parents\u00a0and access empathy for them.<\/p>\n Practicing kindness and compassion for your partner allows you to give them the benefit of the doubt. As the person closest to you, they\u2019ve earned it.<\/p>\n Have compassion for both, the little child inside of your partner, and the little child inside of you. Speak with kindness and love and you\u2019ll create an atmosphere where it is safe to make mistakes allowing love to flourish and deepen.<\/p>\n Does one of your relationship goals include the ability to grow love deeper over time? If so, then you\u2019ll want to learn how to approach an argument or disagreement in a way that creates a deeper connection between the two of you.<\/p>\n All couples fight<\/a>, even soulmates. Some couples escalate while others simmer in a cold war. It\u2019s common to judge and blame your partner when you\u2019re triggered. Learn to take a break when things get heated and then calm your own nervous system.<\/p>\n Once you\u2019re both calm you can come together to repair and reconnect. A conflict can be a doorway to a deeper connection by focusing on communicating your feelings and concerns, instead of trying to determine who is right or wrong. Emotional intimacy does not come from agreement. It\u2019s created when the two of you are authentic about your own emotional stories and take responsibility for your triggers.<\/p>\n Offering an apology and amends when warranted allows you to regain trust and build a stronger bond.<\/p>\n If one of your relationship goals is for long-lasting love, focus on choosing someone who shares your values. Many people look for someone who shares their interests and hobbies and overlook\u00a0the importance of shared values<\/a>.<\/p>\n You can survive almost any challenge with your partner when you know that the two of you are on the same page. Just because you both like traveling or country music doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re in agreement about the importance of communication or family.<\/p>\n Taking your time through the dating process allows you to discover how they spend their time, energy, and resources. This lets you know what is important to them. Having hypothetical conversations about values won\u2019t reveal the truth. Their actions are a better indication of their values, and these are discovered over time. You cannot rush this process of getting to know another human being.<\/p>\n Do your relationship goals include the desire to grow together? Make a commitment to your own lifelong learning and growth.<\/p>\n Relationships can stagnate<\/a>\u00a0when you stop being curious about each other and don\u2019t put effort into learning new behaviors and strategies for dealing with recurring conflicts. Be willing to learn, grow, and remain curious about your SO. This will keep the two of you on a path to creating a deeper and more fulfilling relationship.<\/p>\n Relationships are a living, breathing system that requires attention to stay vital. Growing apart over time only happens when the two of you stop being curious about each other.<\/p>\n If your relationship goals include keeping the spark alive, then you\u2019ll want to set aside time for the two of you outside of your occupations, kids, and other responsibilities.<\/p>\n Your desire for your partner<\/a>\u00a0can fade over time if you don\u2019t nurture physical intimacy. Set aside time for just the two of you by setting a weekly date night. Make the bedroom just for sleep and sex. Leave the TV watching for the den or living room, and don\u2019t talk about work, kids, or your problems in bed.<\/p>\n Connect in bed each night before turning the lights out for sleep. Have a gratitude practice of listing five things you\u2019re each grateful for that you share with each other. These rituals allow intimacy to flourish between you.<\/p>\n Having relationship goals can feel like your relationship is a lot of hard work with no play or fun. Make sure to focus on laughter, adventure, and play. The more fun you have together, the more time you\u2019ll want to spend together.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re demanding that your partner is present with you every moment you\u2019re together, you\u2019re setting the bar too high \u2014 no one can give you that. Setting realistic expectations allows you to have space for fun and to enjoy one another\u2019s company instead of constantly having difficult conversations and working through your issues.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t let the struggles of life and the tendency to fall into habitual ruts cause the two of you to drift apart over time. Outside forces can only drive a wedge between the two of you if let them.<\/p>\n Regularly update your relationship goals and make them a priority in your life. You\u2019ll create a relationship that\u2019s a refuge from the stresses of the world and gives you the strength to overcome whatever struggles come your way.<\/p>\n Do you doubt you\u2019ll find a partner who is as committed to you as you are to him? Understanding the natural progression that all relationships go through gives you the road map to creating love that lasts. Download our free report, The 5 Stages of Relationship<\/a>, and discover the path to a lasting partnership filled with co-creation and bliss.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Do you want to upgrade your relationship skills? Trying to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4420,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-starting-over"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4257"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4257\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4420"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}11 Relationship Goals For Grownups Ready For True Love<\/h2>\n
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Communicate Authentically<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Practice Slow Love<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Set Healthy Boundaries<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Own Your Half Of The Equation<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Let Go Of Judgment<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Treat Your Partner With Kindness And Compassion<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Learn To Fight Fair<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Look For Shared Values<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Commit To Lifelong Learning And Growing<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Set Aside Time For Just The Two Of You<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Make Having Fun A Priority<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n