{"id":4657,"date":"2024-11-22T06:50:28","date_gmt":"2024-11-22T14:50:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/?p=4657"},"modified":"2024-11-25T16:01:19","modified_gmt":"2024-11-26T00:01:19","slug":"why-am-i-attracted-to-the-wrong-people-and-how-do-i-change-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/why-am-i-attracted-to-the-wrong-people-and-how-do-i-change-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Am I Attracted To The Wrong People And How Do I Change It?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Are you attracted to the wrong people? Maybe you have a pattern of choosing unavailable partners or find yourself in toxic relationships and don\u2019t know why this keeps happening to you. You may feel like there\u2019s something wrong with you<\/a> and that you\u2019re somehow destined to keep repeating this pattern. Why would you consciously choose someone who will break your heart and leave you feeling like lasting love isn\u2019t meant to be? The real reason you\u2019re stuck in this pattern may surprise you, but there\u2019s hope. Once you understand the brain science of attraction and how it manifests in Your Love Imprint, you\u2019ll discover the key to transforming your relationship patterns.<\/p>\n

Knowing how your mind is wired for attraction puts you in the driver\u2019s seat to change your patterns and, finally get love right. You can take a new approach that doesn\u2019t just rely on chemistry and attraction to choose a mate. You\u2019re not destined to be attracted to the wrong people. Lasting love doesn\u2019t have to feel elusive.<\/p>\n

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When You\u2019re Attracted To The Wrong People You Can Feel Broken<\/h2>\n

Discovering that you\u2019re stuck in an unhealthy love pattern may make you feel like there\u2019s something wrong with you and that your picker is somehow broken. When your inner coordinates for love keep steering you in the wrong direction, you may believe that you\u2019re stuck in this pattern.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re not stuck forever being attracted to the wrong people. Everyone suffers from a version of this dilemma. However, the degree to which your coordinates are off determines how much of an adjustment you need to make.<\/p>\n

The first step is to identify your unhealthy pattern and where it comes from. The coordinates of Your Love Imprint are programmed in your family of origin. The need to\u00a0heal the relationship with your parents<\/a>\u00a0through your romantic relationships is universal. It\u2019s part of the human condition.<\/p>\n

The brain science of attraction reveals that healthy love wasn\u2019t modeled for you in your family of origin, so you don\u2019t have an effective internal guidance system to create lasting love. On some level, every person is not loved exactly as they desired by their parents and they play this dynamic out in their adult, intimate relationships.<\/p>\n

Though this pattern can leave you feeling broken, it simply means you\u2019re human. The wound of Your Love Imprint is part of the human condition and affects your strategies and behaviors in your intimate relationships.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re Attracted To The Wrong People Because Your Love Imprint\u00ae<\/sup>\u00a0Has Defective Coordinates<\/h2>\n

Your Love Imprint is your subconscious program for love and intimate relationships. It includes\u00a0your limiting beliefs<\/a>, your mental\/emotional patterns, and your behavioral strategies for giving and receiving love. It\u2019s formed in your family of origin and drives your choices in your romantic relationships.<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re an infant you have two emotional needs that must be met for you to survive and thrive. You need to feel loved and safe. Your need for love and safety causes you to take on any beliefs, behaviors, and strategies to achieve your goal. They set the coordinates of Your Love Imprint \u2014 your GPS for love.<\/p>\n

To get your needs met you took full responsibility for your parents\u2019 inability to love you the way you needed to be loved. It was your responsibility to change, not theirs.<\/p>\n

Maybe you learned in your childhood that you were more likely to feel loved and safe if you were quiet and didn\u2019t speak up about your needs. You\u2019d come to believe that it was safer to sacrifice yourself than it was to get your emotional needs met.<\/p>\n

Or, in your family you might have learned that love and rejection are connected. The rejection you felt from one of the most important people in your life becomes intertwined with the need for love and acceptance.<\/p>\n

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The wound of Your Love Imprint significantly determines who you find attractive as an adult. The strategies you used to cope in your childhood become the strategies you use in your intimate relationships.<\/p>\n

Ultimately, the brain science of attraction shows you\u2019re attracted to the wrong people because they match your childhood wounds, and you end up repeating the same unhealthy pattern over and over again.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re Attracted To The Wrong People Because They Feel Familiar<\/h2>\n

Your attraction to the wrong people is a match to your childhood wounding. This is a Love Imprint match \u2014 your subconscious mind is highlighting certain characteristics as feeling familiar, and you interpret this signal of familiarity as attraction and chemistry.<\/p>\n

Just as you have a physical homeostasis, you also have a behavioral one. Physically, your body\u2019s temperature, blood pressure, and heart rate need to stay within a narrow range for you to stay alive. The same feels true of your behavior. It feels uncomfortable or frightening to step out of your relationship comfort zone.<\/p>\n

Your subconscious mind recognizes a match to your childhood wounds and highlights them for you<\/a>. It\u2019s as if a signal goes off in your mind and body saying, \u201cThis is familiar! This is familiar!\u201d Unfortunately, your subconscious cannot tell you if familiar is good or bad because its job is to maintain the relationship homeostasis of Your Love Imprint.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s like you\u2019re confusing the signals of fear and excitement. Your body is producing adrenaline, increasing your heart rate, and making your breath shallow in response to the perceived threat. You\u2019ve been misinterpreting those signals as chemistry, attraction, and love.<\/p>\n

Your attraction feels intoxicating and intense because your mind is sending you a loud \u201cThis is familiar!\u201d signal. You misinterpret that signal to mean excitement when it\u2019s a fear response. The brain science of attraction has you confused about what love feels like.<\/p>\n

Your Fear\/Excitement Trigger Needs To Be Recalibrated<\/h2>\n

The first step to changing this pattern is to avoid people who trigger this \u201cdanger\/excitement\u201d feeling. Rather than dive in headfirst when you experience this familiar signal, slow down and use caution. Start reorienting what you\u2019ve believed to be chemistry as fear.<\/p>\n

If you were to describe what love feels like to you, your description probably includes feeling off-balance, having obsessive thoughts, butterflies in your stomach, or inability to control your impulses. These are symptoms of a fight\/flight response, not love and acceptance.<\/p>\n

The brain science of attraction keeps you stuck in this unhealthy pattern. Until you heal the wounds of your childhood, you\u2019ll keep repeating the same unhealthy relationships. If you\u2019ve been burned enough, you\u2019ll over-correct and choose safe partners who you don\u2019t feel attracted to or shut your heart off from love altogether. None of these choices lead to the lasting love you desire.<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re attracted to the wrong people, you need to\u00a0recalibrate how you think about attraction<\/a>. Recognize the fear response attached to Your Love Imprint and avoid getting intimate with people who trigger those familiar feelings.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t Choose A Partner Based On A Feeling<\/h2>\n

When you\u2019re attracted to the wrong people, you\u2019re putting too much emphasis on your feelings while ignoring potential issues. Attraction is important for love to last, but it isn\u2019t the only ingredient. Putting too much importance on chemistry can cause you to miss the red flags right in front of you.<\/p>\n

The brain science of attraction highlights people who feel familiar to you. If an emotionally available, kind, and loving potential partner was interested in you, you\u2019d likely not find them attractive because they wouldn\u2019t be charged for you in the same way as your familiar relationship pattern.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve yet to experience being loved by\u00a0a supportive, nurturing partner<\/a>\u00a0who values you and wants you to be happy. Or experienced being with someone who\u2019s curious about you and your feelings and doesn\u2019t allow you to go into sacrifice.<\/p>\n

For you to find a kind, supportive person attractive, you\u2019ll first have to change your relationship with yourself to recalibrate the settings of Your Love Imprint.<\/p>\n<\/a>\r\n\r\n\r\n\n

The Love You Seek Is Inside Of You<\/h2>\n

The story you created about yourself because your parents were unable to love you the way you desired to be loved feels true. It feels like part of your identity. The brain science of attraction proves that you\u2019ll reject someone who doesn\u2019t mirror that dynamic until you change your relationship with yourself<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The pattern of being attracted to the wrong people is part of Your Love Imprint, but it isn\u2019t your destiny. It\u2019s a pattern you learned, and you can learn a new pattern for love.<\/p>\n

To break this pattern you need to begin a practice of self-love. One of the first steps is to start speaking up for your wants and needs, as well as setting and keeping clear boundaries. When you treat yourself respectfully, you\u2019ll reject anyone who doesn\u2019t match your internal energy.<\/p>\n

The brain science of attraction says that your outer world experience is a reflection of your inner world. When you realize that you don\u2019t get love from another, instead you share the love you have for yourself with another, then you\u2019ll start nurturing your feelings of self-love and self-respect.<\/p>\n

Developing Your Self-Esteem And Self-Respect Is The Key To Transforming Your Love Imprint<\/h2>\n

A lack of self-respect causes you to tolerate people who don\u2019t treat you with respect and deep-down hope that they\u2019ll change for you. You end up trying to prove your lovability and wishing you\u2019d have said no to their requests. Or maybe you find yourself apologizing for your behavior when there\u2019s nothing to apologize for.<\/p>\n

Changing this pattern of being attracted to the wrong people begins by making agreements with yourself and sticking to them. Instead of dwelling on the\u00a0people who\u2019ve mistreated you<\/a>, decide today you will treat yourself with loving kindness \u2014 no matter what. Even on your worst day, decide you\u2019ll find compassion for yourself.<\/p>\n

Change your inner dialog from beating yourself up and internalizing your parents\u2019 voices to one that is supportive, kind, and loving. You can become your own best friend by saying nice things to yourself about yourself.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s time to forgive the child inside of you who was doing the best they could. Find compassion for all that you went through as a child, and now as a grown person make better choices because you have more resources. When you make this shift, the brain science of attraction assures that you’ll no longer be attracted to the wrong people.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t Put Your Lovability In The Hands Of A Stranger<\/h2>\n

You\u2019re the only one responsible for your lovability. Treat yourself with love and compassion. Focus on healing the wounds of Your Love Imprint so that you can find a better caliber of person attractive.<\/p>\n

Wishing and hoping that someone will prove that you\u2019re lovable by choosing you gives your power away and leaves you feeling insecure and full of regret. No one can give you love. You share the love you already have within yourself with another. Focus on growing the love you have for yourself before looking for someone to partner up with.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re stuck in a pattern of attracting the wrong people, those who are unable to fulfill your needs, you\u2019ll need to transform Your Love Imprint. Then you can develop a new way to create lasting love. Transforming your GPS for love puts you in the driver\u2019s seat of your love life and utilizes the brain science of attraction in your favor. You can take the first step by clicking here.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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