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You\u2019re Avoiding Conflict<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
Conflict is inevitable<\/a> in an intimate relationship. This doesn\u2019t mean that it has to blow up into an argument, but you\u2019ll have to deal with challenges, miscommunication, and differences. The problem is most people are conflict-avoidant and this can cause you to fall out of love.<\/p>\n
When you avoid conflict, you create an emotional distance between you. Issues tend to fester, and like a volcano eventually erupt. This type of argument gets ugly and doesn\u2019t go well; neither of you feels good about what happened so you begin the cycle again and go back to avoiding conflict. Or you just sit on your grievances and never address them, letting the resentment build up between you.<\/p>\n
To avoid falling out of love and break the cycle address issues as they arise instead of avoiding them. Rather than looking for agreement simply be authentic and share how you feel. Use \u201cI\u201d language to avoid pointing the finger at your partner. Ultimately, conflict can lead to a deeper connection if you take responsibility for your part and steer clear of blame.<\/p>\n
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You\u2019re In A Never-Ending A Power Struggle<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
Every relationship will progress from the romance stage to the power struggle stage<\/a>. When the chemical high of falling in love wears off, you\u2019re left with a bit of a hangover. A lot of people mistake this for falling out of love. Hence, the phrase, \u201cI love you but I\u2019m not in love with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
The power struggle stage allows each person to individuate within the relationship. It can be a battle of egos with both of you fighting to be right. You want your partner to agree with you or see things your way. It feels like the two of you are at odds and you\u2019re in a tug of war. It\u2019s easy to think that because you\u2019re in a power struggle that this is not your person. This stage is a natural occurrence and not a sign that you\u2019re falling out of love. No couple will skip the power struggle stage of a relationship!<\/p>\n
Instead, let go of the rope and make a choice to put aside your ego. It only takes one person to change the dynamic and find your way out of the power struggle stage. Breaking the cycle occurs when you both choose the relationship over your ego desires and create a new habit of deferring to one another\u2019s strengths.<\/p>\n
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You\u2019ve Sacrificed Your Needs<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
Putting aside your needs to keep the peace and avoid conflict at all costs will only breed anger and resentment. You can\u2019t go without your needs being met for too long; it will eat away at your self-worth and your happiness.<\/p>\n
Going into sacrifice<\/a> as a strategy to earn love causes an imbalance in the relationship. Only one person\u2019s needs are being met causing an imbalance that is not sustainable and eventually you\u2019ll fall out of love.<\/p>\n
To avoid growing resentment and falling out of love, speak up and ask for what you need. This risk will pay off because you can connect emotionally with your partner. They may surprise you and gladly step up to meet your needs. Someone who loves you wants you to feel happy and is more than willing to give you what you need.<\/p>\n
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You\u2019re Not Expressing Your Feelings<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
Whether you\u2019re feeling loving toward your partner or frustrated, if you don\u2019t say something they won\u2019t know. Emotional intimacy is created by speaking your feelings regularly. You can fall out of love when you don\u2019t connect emotionally and fall into the trap of making assumptions.<\/p>\n
Your partner doesn\u2019t come with special mind-reading powers. Just because you\u2019re thinking of your partner or doing things for them, doesn\u2019t mean that they are feeling loved.<\/p>\n
Conversely, if you are upset about something don\u2019t swallow your feelings. Speak up.<\/a> Keep your emotional sink clean by regularly cleaning up your disagreements and sharing your upset, no matter how minor. You\u2019ll feel better having expressed it and you can use the situation to create stronger emotional intimacy ensuring you don\u2019t fall out of love.<\/p>\n
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You Don\u2019t Value The Same Things<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
While you don\u2019t need to share the same hobbies<\/a> or interests for love to grow between you, you do need to be on the same page about the important things in life. If you have different goals or conflicting visions for your relationship, you\u2019ll end up feeling alone. Also, when you don\u2019t value the same things, it\u2019s more difficult to to get back on the same page creating further disconnection.<\/p>\n
The spark of chemistry when you first meet will fade quickly if you don\u2019t share values. To avoid falling out of love over time, make sure you don\u2019t rush to exclusivity in the beginning. Date with discernment, move forward slowly, evaluate over time and choose a partner wisely using your head as well as your heart.<\/p>\n
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You\u2019ve Taken Off Your Rose-Colored Glasses<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
During the high of the romance phase of a relationship, you\u2019ll see your partner in their best light and ignore the things that could be an issue. You end up giving this person you barely know the benefit of the doubt before they\u2019ve earned it. Once the romance fades, you may notice that you\u2019ve become critical of your partner.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s like you took off your rose-colored glasses and now you see your partner in the harsh light. You\u2019ve stopped giving them the benefit of the doubt, even though they\u2019ve probably earned it. Focusing on all the small things that annoy you<\/a> about your partner will cause you to fall out of love.<\/p>\n
Instead, don\u2019t wear rose-colored glasses from the beginning. Wait until your partner has proven themselves and earned the benefit of the doubt. Once you\u2019ve made it through the power struggle stage together you can put your rose-colored glasses on and focus on what you love about them.<\/p>\n
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You\u2019re Complaining To Others Rather Than Speaking To Your Partner<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
A common way to fall out of love is to complain to your friends and family about your partner. You end up receiving advice that\u2019s not helpful and judgments that don\u2019t take the whole situation into account. Most complaints happen because you\u2019re looking for agreement or ammunition to defend your point of view. You\u2019re not in a war with your partner and you don\u2019t need to seek allies to support your side.<\/p>\n
Sharing your intimate details or disagreements with others breaks the trust between the two of you and can exacerbate feeling disconnected. An intimate relationship is sacred and should be handled with kid gloves to avoid breaking trust.<\/p>\n
The only person you need to talk to when there\u2019s an issue is your partner. Don\u2019t talk behind their back and get advice from your friends about what you should or shouldn\u2019t do. Keep your relationship private and protected from outside influences. If you have any issues that you can\u2019t resolve then seek professional help, not the council of your friends and family.<\/p>\n
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You Have Unrealistic Expectations<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
In this modern world where people pair up for love rather than security or a family arrangement, it\u2019s common to have an unrealistic expectation of marriage. Believing that with your soulmate<\/a> you\u2019ll never have any problems or conflicts creates unrealistic expectations of your relationship. Perfectionism can cause you to be overly critical of your partner, holding them to too high of a standard. Or your fear of conflict can trigger you to try to control your partner in times of stress.<\/p>\n
Having unrealistic expectations will cause you to fall out of love because no one can live up to a fantasy. All relationships move through five stages and the second one trips people up because no couple skips the power struggle stage. Even with your soulmate, you\u2019ll have misunderstandings, disappointments, and conflicts. Learning to turn those conflicts into a deeper connection is one of the skills for lasting love.<\/p>\n
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You\u2019ve Stopped Making Sex A Priority<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
In the beginning, you can\u2019t keep your hands off each other. It doesn\u2019t matter how tired or busy you are, it\u2019s easy to find time for sex. As the two of you relax into the mundane day-to-day rhythm of your lives together, it\u2019s harder to find time for intimacy. Or you may find that your love life becomes a little stale<\/a>.<\/p>\n
These transitions don\u2019t have to cause you to fall out of love. You can rekindle the romance by sharing your fantasies or out-of-the-box desires. The biggest erogenous zone is the space between your ears. How you\u2019re thinking about your partner can create a change in your desire for them. Schedule time to connect emotionally as well as physically and your love will continue to grow.<\/p>\n
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Feedback Becomes Criticism<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
When requests or suggestions start to feel like criticisms, you\u2019re in danger of falling out of love. In your defensiveness, you\u2019re shifting the blame onto your partner<\/a> for your feelings of criticism, or you take their feedback as an accusation. It becomes impossible for your partner to discuss issues between the two of you.<\/p>\n
Speaking how you feel and making requests is important in a relationship. You both won\u2019t come together intuitively knowing what the other wants or needs. Most people share love in the way they want to receive it without being curious about what their partner desires.<\/p>\n
Stop taking your partner\u2019s feedback as criticism and get curious about what they need. There is usually a deeper need underneath the request that is putting extra energy into their communication. Or you may have a sensitivity about their suggestion. Taking things personally will create a wedge between you and you\u2019re in danger of falling out of love.<\/p>\n
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You\u2019re Not Dealing With Your Triggers<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
Everyone has triggers from their childhood wounds. Issues around safety, communication, or personal space can become flashpoints for conflict. When triggered your conscious mind goes offline, and you\u2019re operating from a survival instinct of fight, flight, or freeze.<\/p>\n
Your partner is not responsible for your triggers. They weren\u2019t in your life when the circumstances that created them occurred. If you\u2019re blaming your partner for your triggers then you will fall out of love because you don\u2019t feel safe.<\/p>\n
Acknowledging your triggers and discussing them with your partner can help create empathy and compassion. Having tools to calm yourself down and becoming a master of your emotional life will allow you to manage your triggers. It’s unrealistic to think you won\u2019t get triggered in a relationship. Being open with each other will create more intimacy and trust between you, allowing you to stay connected and not fall out of love.<\/p>\n
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An intimate romantic relationship requires continual care and attention. Love doesn\u2019t last because of luck, fate, or destiny. Love lasts because you don\u2019t take your partner for granted, stay curious about them, and regularly take risks to be authentic.<\/p>\n
If you want to know how to create a relationship that stands the test of time, you\u2019ll need to know the natural progression that every relationship goes through. We call this roadmap, \u201cThe 5 Stages of Relationship.\u2019\u2019 Download this free report here<\/a> and discover the skill set for lasting love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What\u2019s the difference between love that lasts and love that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5040,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[66],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5039","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-breakup"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5039","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5039"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5039\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5040"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5039"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5039"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveonpurpose.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5039"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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