You can tame the beast of fear of rejection by turning your worries into strengths and change your fate in love and in life. It may feel like climbing Mt. Everest, but transforming your fears into confidence and resilience isn\u2019t as challenging as you might imagine.<\/p>\n
Because your fears and insecurities get in the way of your ability to create an emotional connection, once you have the tools to express yourself authentically you can master your emotional life, cultivate discernment through the dating process, and select an ideal life partner for love to last a lifetime.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s normal to feel butterflies when going on a first date, but when your anxiety escalates into paralyzing fear it\u2019s time to address the underlying issue.<\/p>\n The most common tactic used when you suffer from the fear of rejection is to talk yourself out of taking any action at all. The fear becomes paralyzing as you imagine the object of your affection turning you down. The mental movie playing over and over in your mind keeps you frozen and unable to act.<\/p>\n The anticipation of the rejection amplifies your fear turning the simple act of talking to a potential date into a life-or-death scenario. You\u2019re putting your lovability into the hands of a stranger, giving them the power<\/a> to deem you worthy of love. This is never a good strategy for long-lasting love.<\/p>\n Not everyone freezes when they fear being rejected. Some people turn into chameleons and find themselves twisting into a pretzel trying win over their latest crush. They\u2019re too busy trying to earn love and approval to bother with evaluating if that person is an ideal match for them.<\/p>\n Oftentimes twisting into a pretzel can evolve into a strategy of going along to get along. If this is you, then you\u2019ll have a hard time setting and keeping boundaries<\/a>. Your fear of rejection causes you to agree with just about anything. Afraid that if you exercise your veto power, you\u2019ll be rejected.<\/p>\n The fear of rejection can also stop you from moving on from a bad relationship. Afraid that if you leave the one person who wants to spend time with you\u2014you\u2019ll be left alone. Or you could settle for crumbs by agreeing to a friends-with-benefits situation when you really want more.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re hard on yourself, you\u2019ll also be hard on any partner or prospect. Judgement is the biggest block to love. Let\u2019s face it, if your standards are restrictive to the point that no one measures up to your impossible expectations, you\u2019ll never have to risk your heart.<\/p>\n You can\u2019t be rejected if you\u2019re the one doling out rejection. Continuously finding flaws in everyone<\/a> you meet might prevent you from feeling bad about yourself, but it won\u2019t bring you the love you crave. Convincing yourself that all the issues that are keeping you single lie with the people you encounter keeps you safe. Sadly, you\u2019re unwilling to admit that deep down you feel unworthy.<\/p>\n Regardless of how the fear of rejection manifests through your behavior, it is possible to overcome it. Exploring the reasons behind your fear of rejection is the next step in your journey to self-acceptance.<\/p>\n Unconsciously your fear of rejection is tasked with keeping you safe, but with most dating interactions you\u2019re not in any physical danger. The danger you feel is a paper tiger. It may seem scary and threatening, but you won\u2019t suffer any physical harm if your date isn\u2019t interested in you.<\/p>\n Your biggest challenge is an emotional one, and it\u2019s rooted in a subconscious belief about yourself.<\/a> Maybe you believe you\u2019re not worthy of love or that you\u2019re not good enough (smart enough, attractive enough, or funny enough).<\/p>\n You\u2019re afraid your potential date will notice all your flaws and weaknesses and reject you outright, proving that these limiting beliefs are valid. Anticipating the dismissal, you\u2019ll feel even worse.<\/p>\n Placing too much importance on the outcome of the interaction\u2014as if this person\u2019s approval will finally bestow worthiness upon you. The fear is more about the meaning you\u2019ve assigned to the interaction than on the actual act of asking for a date.<\/p>\n A broken heart can also cause anxiety about rejection, making it difficult to open your heart to someone new. The pain can trigger a fear of being hurt again, making the prospect of being vulnerable overwhelming. You start to second guess your worth and desirability, reliving the hurtful words your ex shared during the breakup.<\/p>\n The scars left by a broken heart can harden, making it challenging to show up authentically, keeping your potential date at arm\u2019s length. The pain of heartbreak keeps you safe, but it also blocks you from finding lasting love with someone new.<\/p>\n It\u2019s your inner dialog that\u2019s triggering your fear, so recognizing your negative thoughts and changing them to positive ones builds confidence. The voice that says you\u2019re unworthy, that no one likes you, or that you\u2019re not attractive enough is the source of your anxiety. Removing it altogether so that you speak to yourself like someone you love is the cure.<\/p>\n Start by identifying a specific thought that triggers fear of rejection and turn it into an empowering affirmation. Change \u201cI don\u2019t deserve to be loved,\u201d to \u201cI am worthy of receiving the love I want.\u201d Affirmations aren\u2019t magical incantations that will make someone like you, however, they do help you feel more comfortable with yourself<\/a> and more confident.<\/p>\n You\u2019ll feel worse about yourself when you compare your circumstances to someone who has what you want. Comparison can reinforce your limiting beliefs and destroy your self-esteem.<\/p>\n Instead of constantly noticing how your life doesn\u2019t match up to someone\u2019s ideal portrayal on social media, put blinders on like a horse pulling a carriage. Your only measurement should be whether you are doing better today than you were yesterday. Like when running a marathon, focus on your progress regardless of how someone else\u2019s life appears on the surface.<\/p>\n Becoming attached too quickly to a specific person increases the fear of rejection. Rushing in and risking your heart too soon<\/a> decreases your chance of finding long-lasting love. It may seem counter-intuitive, slowing down the dating process speeds up finding the right person for you.<\/p>\n Not being attached to an outcome allows you to be present in the moment. Getting to know someone takes time, and when you imagine a future with someone, your mind has time traveled. You\u2019re no longer collecting data about whether they are a good match for you or not.<\/p>\n Instead of being attached to a specific person, decide that you\u2019ll find an ideal match for the long term.<\/p>\n Going along to get along or twisting into a pretzel to get someone to like you is inauthentic. You\u2019re hiding your true feelings and desires because you\u2019re afraid that you won\u2019t be liked. The best antidote is to practice speaking your truth.<\/p>\n Start by identifying how you actually feel and speaking it out loud to yourself. This acknowledgment of your feelings will begin to validate them. The more confident you are at identifying your feelings, the more you can stretch toward sharing them with others. Your feelings are valid whether someone acknowledges them or agrees with them, and the more you speak your truth the more confident you\u2019ll feel.<\/p>\n Your emotional fears are paper tigers; they won\u2019t actually kill you. Instead of avoiding your emotional fears and therefore protecting yourself from rejection, step into these fearful situations. You may not get what you want<\/a>, but you\u2019ll begin to learn that rejection isn\u2019t the worst thing that could happen.<\/p>\n You survived the situation; the only bruise you have is on your ego. By stepping toward your emotional fears, you grow stronger and more confident because you realize that what you imagined happening was far worse than what actually happened. Step toward your fears and your confidence will grow.<\/p>\n Learning new things puts you in the mindset of a beginner. Stepping outside of your comfort zone allows you to grow. You\u2019ll move through a learning curve which builds compassion for self. Plus, you may find that you have new hobbies which are a great way to meet new people.<\/p>\n Talk to strangers and make new friends, go to a social event where you don\u2019t know anyone, give a compliment to that cute person in line at the market. Your fear of rejection will subside when you regularly talk to people you don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n When you\u2019re too focused on the object of your affection, you give them the power to approve of you or to reject you. Love doesn\u2019t come from a person; it comes from inside of you.<\/p>\n Instead become crystal-clear on the type of relationship you desire and then date to find someone who is in alignment with your vision. When you know what you want (not who), then each rejection becomes a step closer to finding your ideal person.<\/p>\nFear Of Rejection Creates A Freeze Response<\/h2>\n
Fear Of Rejection Has You Twisting Into A Pretzel<\/h2>\n
Fear Of Rejection Causes You To Be Overly Critical<\/h2>\n
Root Causes For Fear Of Rejection<\/h2>\n
How To Overcome Fear Of Rejection?<\/h2>\n
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Master Your Inner Dialogue<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Don\u2019t Get Caught Up In Comparisons<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Practice Non-Attachment<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Learn To Speak Your Truth<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Step Toward Your Fears, Not Shy Away<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Try Something New With Regularity<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Get Clear On What You Want (Not Who)<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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